Misanthropically Yours

Image from – http://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=177417

I am turning into a misanthrope. I don’t want to but when I see a five year old raped and tortured, when I hear news of a bottle and candles retrieved from her vagina, when I see a policeman offer Rs 2000 to the raped girl’s father to let go of the thought of an FIR, when I see a policeman telling the survivor’s family that they should be thankful that the girl is alive, when I see a policeman slapping a protesting girl, when I see politicization of the issue, I don’t see how I can stop myself from hating mankind.

My generation has not seen the World Wars but I have read enough books, seen enough movies, seen enough documentaries to understand what happened. I know how a culture was obliterated, how it was turned into gaseous fumes coming out of a chimney of a camp. I know how millions of carcasses were shoved into pits using trenchers, I know how two entire cities where vapourised in the name of peace. The images are entrenched in my mind. I can never forget the image of a four year old naked Jew boy running towards a barbed fence of a concentration camp as a German shepherd chased him. I felt lucky that I haven’t lived in those times but the ironical bit about history is that it doesn’t matter. It is an embarrassment everyone wants to forget and then commit again. And no, you are never lucky enough. The end of barbarism can never be a done deal.

Has the world turned into a better place to live? Is this a meaningless question? Can our society function without brutality or will it crumble to pieces in its absence?

I do not understand this race anymore. I do not understand why I have to live in a constant fear of losing my loved ones. I do not understand the brutal images of what could happen to my family that spring in my mind every other day. I do not understand the utter abjection with which we treat each other.

I sometimes feel that my mind will explode into a million tiny pieces. I sometimes want to howl with pain, scream so loud that the sound exterminates every human from the face of Earth. I want to give this planet another chance, something that is not possible till humans infect it.

They tell me that I should be grateful for the good life God has given me. I have a loving family and a happy life. Is that good enough reason to be satisfied, to count my lucky stars? How can I be happy when I look around and see misery? How can I be happy when I read about men exploding themselves in marketplaces to serve their God? How can I be happy when I belong to a country where the fragile culture is all about encouraging rapes and molestation? How can I be happy when I see a doctor telling the parents that they can wrap the dead female fetus in a newspaper and throw it in the dustbin on their way out? How can I be happy when I see the subjugation of the weak at every nook and corner? I don’t know how people cocoon themselves and live a detached life. I feel violated.

They tell me that there is good in the world. I would like to believe that but how is good a part of the solution? Is it growing? Is it reducing the coldness? How many more sacrifices before it takes over?

No. Telling me that there is good in the world is not good enough. Tell me how the world is getting better because that is what I want to know. And don’t call me a pessimist. I am only numb with horror. I see things getting worse all around me.

I am scared to bring a child in this world. I am scared that I will spend the rest of my life worrying for the safety of my kid. Apathy has no boundaries. It is a limitless ocean, it is a black hole that has sucked everything that was good in this world. I don’t want my child to live in its shadow and I don’t want to put a cage around my child. I don’t want to live the rest of my life pretending that I live in a war zone.

I wish to meet that 5 year old girl. I wish to hold her in my arms and tell her that it will be all right. I wish she looks at me and smile. I wish to live in a world where this heavy burden of fear does not exist on my chest. I wonder how it feels to live without it. Just thinking about its absence makes me feel rejuvenated, makes me feel like a freed slave. I wish to live in a world where power is not brutal, where humans are not derailed psychopaths, where life is treated as an invaluable gift, where happiness is not insulated and confined to a selected few, where God has no face.

The night sky fills me with awe. The stars and planets are nature’s way of telling us about our insignificance, about our diminutive presence in the universe. And we still have the intrepidity of hurting each other, of clawing at each other’s soul, of raping a 5 year old.

Isn’t that enough reason to be a misanthrope?

The day Gods were Arnab-ised

Arnab looks at the camera and gives a triumphant smile. He feels like the king of the world. 

Arnab: Ladies and gentlemen! This is a Times Wow exclusive. Nowhere in this world, and I repeat, NOWHERE IN THIS WORLD, have you seen a debate of such a scale. Today we will talk to Gods of three religions. Yes, you heard it right ladies and gentlemen. * A pause and he stares at the screen for 3 seconds* You heard it right. Let’s call them God A, B and C. We will not be disclosing the religion they represent, neither will we be disclosing their faces. Please welcome the three Gods.

Three blank screens appear next to Arnab with God A, B and C written below them.

Arnab: “Welcome everyone to the show. Let’s start with the most important question haunting mankind. Let’s end the hide-and-seek game today. LET’S SETTLE THIS NOW AND HERE!!!! Where are all of you? Why are you not helping us? God A?”

God A: Because we are not supposed to! Unless and until a calamity of a monstrous scale happens that threatens the end… 

Arnab: OH MY GOD! You are telling me that there have been no calamities of a monstrous scale? Let me remind you sir. No! Let me remind you! 900 people died in the Mumbai riots in 1993, more than a 1000 people died in the Gujrat roits….

God B: Arnab, he meant on the scale of lakhs, crores. When there is a danger of extinction of mankind, we might appear. Until then…

Arnab: *giving a Dilip Kumar expression* Might appear? Might? MigHT? MIGHT? WE HUMANS HERE ARE COMSUMING VICKS AT AN ALARMING RATE BECAUSE WE ARE GETTING HOARSE CALLING YOU FOR HELP AND YOU MIGHT APPEAR? WE ARE PUTTING LAKHS AND LAKHS OF MONEY AT YOUR FEET WHEN MILLIONS ARE STARVING AND YOU ‘MIGHT’ APPEAR?

God C: Arnab, we cannot undo what humans have done. It is your fate. We gave you brains, didn’t we?

Arnab: *Pointing at God C with a Nirupa Roy look* YOU SIR ARE THE WORST OF THE WHOLE BUNCH! Your people are killing other people since hundred of years and you are eating popcorn and watching the show! Can you sleep at night? Can you look into the mir…..

God C: Why are you blaming me, God B’s people have been destroying one nation after another since decades. What about him? Why don’t you….

God B: Hold on! My people have always fought righteous wars! They have always fought for the love of America humanity. You cannot….

God A: Hrrrrruumph! Give me a break! Both of you should have at least appeared once in a while and made things right. Look at me. I have already appeared 9 times. All you guys do is sit on your ass and….

Arnab: SILENCE! Silence! All three of you are guilty! All three of you! And stop playing your politics here. THIS IS MY SHOW! I AM THE GOD HERE! So, don’t you guys dare to fling fingers at each other. The only finger that flings on this show is MINE! God A, tell me something. Your people are goondas. They beat girls who drink. They beat couples who celebrate Valentines day. Tell me, don’t they serve drinks in heaven when you have cultural programs where apsaras dance? Don’t you have Kamdev in your cabinet?

God A: I never said any of these things are wrong.

Arnab: But YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING TO STOP IT!

God A: What do you want? I can’t bloody come every time on Earth when someone has a flat tyre to help him.

Arnab: OH MY GOD! You are comparing hooliganism and murders to flat tyres? OH MY GOD!

God A: *rolling his eyes* It was just an expression!

Arnab: Let me tell all three of you today – YOU GUYS ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING. *Inserting a sad Anupam Kher expression* I feel like an orphan today. An orphan! And I say this on the behalf of the whole humanity. ALL OF US ARE ORPHANS! WE ARE ON OUR OWN! OH MY GOD!

God B: You really don’t have to be such a drama queen. Let us speak. You have to understand that this is not how it….

Arnab: DRAMA QUEEN? YOU ARE CALLING ME A DRAMA QUEEN? YOU THREE ARE THE BIGGEST DRAMA QUEENS I HAVE EVER SEEN! Sir, let me tell you that you guys exist because of us. If we want, we can shun you all and live on our own. Tell me how it happens then. I would like to listen. Let’s finish this now and here. Today is the day. Today is JUDGEMENT DAY!

God C: Our task was to create the world. We cannot solve your problems. We can only show you the path. It is up to you to walk on it.

Arnab: So, the three of you agree that you cannot help us?

God A,B,C: Yes.

Arnab: OH MY GOD!

*another 3 second pause and then he looks at the camera*

Arnab: Ladies and gentlemen. Tonight we have seen incompetence at the highest level. Forget politicians. Forget the World Wars. This is the reality exclusively on Times Wow – that we are alone. We have to fight this battle of saving humanity on our own. That OUR GODS ARE NOT GOING TO SAVE US! I WILL NEVER BOW MY HEAD IN FRONT OF ANY GOD FROM NOW ONWARDS!

God A: *yawning* Arnab, why don’t you become the god for humans? You have all the characteristics. *God B and C nod in unison and pass a smile*

Arnab: STOP YOUR SARCASTIC HANKY PANKY! YOUR ROSE TINTED IMAGE HAS BEEN SHATTERED TODAY. HUMANS NOW KNOW WHAT YOU ALL STAND FOR. *looks at the camera* THIS TIMES WOW EXCLUSIVE WILL BE ETCHED IN THE MEMORY OF MANKIND TILL ETERNITY.

God C : *telepathically talks to God A and B* His face is going red. His lungs will be on the table anytime.

God A,B : *telepathically* Don’t make us laugh you idiot! He has already done enough to portray us in a bad light.

God C : *telepathically* You appear as a blank screen, you fool! And you really think people care?

God B : *telepathically* Of course not. That is one reason I haven’t turned him into Rakhi Sawant yet.

God A: *telepathically* Shall we leave?

God C: *telepathically* Oh for God sake! Yes!

*Meanwhile Arnab is still rambling*

Arnab: I AM ASHAMED OF ALL THREE OF YOU!! ASHAMED!! Do you have anything else to say before we end this show?

*Silence*

Arnab: God A, God B, God C?

*Silence*

Arnab: OH MY GOD!

Report Card of my Mistress

To tell you the truth, I was not expecting a readership when I came back after 2 years of blogging break. I bet a lot of you don’t know that this blog was dormant from Jan 2009 to Oct 2011. I wanted to finish my novel before it poisoned my brain. I had to throw the story out of my system. Yes, it is done and lying on its ass in my laptop since a month awaiting another important decision of my life. In layman’s terms, it is in queue. I have gone through the story so many times that it seems that all that exercise of throwing it out of my system was in vain. It is flowing in my blood now.

Anyways, another thing that happened in those two years of sabbatical was that I met Geet and we got married. We did it the old-fashioned way by not even meeting up before we said yes. Wait! Don’t faint. We had a webcam chat or two and a month of telephonic conversation. It feels surreal now that I write it. What if she had 4 legs? You surely can hide that in a webcam chat. And no it wasn’t a sex chat. So, we got married and moved to Manchester for a year and explored each other (Ahem!) and the beautiful Britain. I spent all my savings and we went to France and Switzerland and bought coats worth 10000 Rs. In short, we lived that year in a very expensive Yash Chopra movie.

While all this was happening, my blog was always calling me back. It was like a wailing, abandoned child whom I have left behind and felt guilty about it. So, when I returned back to India, dust, honks and heaps of people (read Delhi) in 2011, I thought of picking up the child again. It wasn’t easy. The readership was almost gone. My blogging friends of old had almost vanished. But once I started writing in Dec 2011, the joy knew no comments. The dam was broken. I found all of you, one by one over the course of last one year. Some old friends returned and were happy to see me back. It was all exhilarating.

Geet was shocked. She hasn’t seen me giving attention to anyone except her and here I was juggling her with a blog, a novel and a movie novels and watching movies (corrected the sentence after readers thought I was writing a movie script! 😐 ). It took her some time to stop calling MashedMusings my mistress and absorb the juggler in me. I told her that it was like preparing Rice, Rajma, Paneer Makhni, Chapati and Dahi Bhalle all in one go – like I did for her on Karwachauth in 2 hours flat. I bought her a diamond to pacify her.

So, thank you everyone for reading this blog and appreciating what I write. It means a lot to me because I do not think very highly of myself (I keep telling Geet that she must have been really blind to marry me. I say dialogues like – ‘what were you bloody thinking?!?!’ while she gives me a really scratch-head-confusing smile). So, all this appreciation is very humbling.

Now you must be wondering why I am in a self-critical mode today? Well, I accidentally read my Yearly Report Card on WordPress today and felt good and thought of thanking everyone which now that I read it, is more of a blabbering.

Cheers!

Here’s an excerpt:

19,000 people fit into the new Barclays Center to see Jay-Z perform. This blog was viewed about 130,000 times in 2012. If it were a concert at the Barclays Center, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

The Middle Finger Awards 2012

Welcome to the Middle Finger Awards 2012 presented by Mashed Musings. The awards honors the best news makers of 2012 in various categories. We are committed to an unbiased and honest approach toward selecting the nominees and the winners. If you have any concerns about any of the winners not deserving his/her award, please keep it to yourself.
So, lets begin the ceremony.

*Drum rolls. Trumpets Blaring*

Here is the first category :

The Middle Finger Award for the Most Courageous act of 2012

And the nominees are :

Dr. Manmohan Singh – for gathering enough courage to address the nation 7 days after the protests and letting everyone know that he too is a father and there aren’t enough commandoes protecting his daughters. Theek hai?

Sheila Dixit – for having the courage to come to Jantar Mantar and lightening something that looked like a half burnt candle while the crowd booed her.

Anushka Sharma – for wearing a blue XXL vest in Kashmir for a Yash Chopra movie.

Delhi Police Chief, Neeraj Kumar – for his courageous act to save Delhi Police from further shame and twisting facts. Apparently, he hasn’t heard the story of the shepherd and the wolf.

Madhura Honey – for her courageous act of walking with the Indian team in Olympics opening ceremony in a red top and blue jeans looking completely out of place. Just like all those students in Student of the Year.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drum rolls* Manmohan Singh!!!! For his courageous bland as boiled pasta speech to pacify the nation.

Our next category is :

The Middle Finger Award for the Most limelight hungry Indian of 2012

The nominees are –

Abhijit Mukherjee – for the dented painted comment and letting Indians know that the President has a big mouthed son.

Kailash Vijayvargiya, Madhya Pradesh Minister – for talking about Laxman Rekha when he should have actually zipped it up.

Banwari Lal Singhal, BJP MLA, Rajasthan – for being disturbed by girls wearing skirts as he found it difficult to take his eyes off their legs.

Haryana Khaps – for leaving no stone unturned to be on national media and make us realize that humans haven’t completely evolved from apes.

Dharamvir Goyat, Haryana Congress member – for sharing his pearls of wisdom with us about 90% of rape cases being consensual.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drum rolls* the Haryana Khaps for their consistency in churning out drivel!!!

Our next category is :

The Middle Finger Award for The Best Blind Eye of 2012.

The nominees are –

Delhi Police – for using teargas, water cannons and Lathis on college students and women and then wondering why people threw stones at them.

BJP ministers in Karnataka – for turning a blind eye towards all the cameras pointed at them as they enjoyed porn in the assembly.

Indian Citizens – for craving for popcorn while they circled the rape victim lying naked, shivering and bleeding on the road.

Indian Politicians – for ignoring thousands of rape victims till waves of people came out on roads and threw stones.

Vijay Mallya – for donating 3 Kg gold to Tirupati temple while his employees went without salary for months.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drum rolls* the Indian Citizens for achieving the impossible of turning back the clock of human evolution.

Lets move to the next category which is :

The Middle Finger Award for the Most Confused Indian

The nominees are –

Pratibha Patil – for pardoning rapists and murderers and getting confused about her right to not to be a puppet who has to sign a pardon when asked.

Sushil Kumar Shinde – for confusing students with Maoists.

Arvind Kejriwal – for confusing the nation by jumping from one issue to another and giving everyone a terrible headache.

Saif Ali Khan – for his role in the movie Cocktail where he confused the audience in the first half into believing that he wasn’t playing an assho*e.

Delhi Police – for discussing confusing matters of jurisdiction as the rape victim and her friend lay on the road naked and bleeding.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drums roll* Pratibha Patil for letting loose deranged criminals on the society.

The next category is :

The Middle Finger Award for the most Dramatic Indian of 2012

And the nominees are –

Salman Khurshid – for his saas Bahu dialogues about replacing ink with blood if Arvind Kejriwal tried to enter his domain. No shit.

Robert Vadra – for collecting unmatched black wealth, mocking the nation and then getting away with it by saying something with a mango and banana in it.

Mamata Banerjee – for her histrionics by equating rapes to political conspiracies and asking profound questions like why men and women are allowed to mingle in our society.

Ponty brothers – for their swift and fortunate exit from the world.

Suresh Kalmadi – for having the nerve to express his desire to attend Olympics after being released on bail for the CWG scam.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drum rolls* Robert Vadra for his unmatched feat of taking the whole nation for a ride.

The next category is :

The Middle Finger Award of the most Senselessly Swift Indian of 2012

The nominees are –

Mumbai Police – for their swift response in arresting two girls for stating the truth on Facebook.

Delhi Police – for swiftly arresting 8 random men after a constable died in the protests and filing an FIR without any proof.

Akbaruddin Owaisi – for swiftly going underground in London after his arrest warrant was out in India.

Indian Government – for swiftly moving the rape victim to Singapore when it became apparent that she was not going to live.

The Dengue Mosquito – for swiftly taking away the king of romance, Yash Chopra in the blink of an eye.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drums roll* The Indian Government for acting in the nick of time to save themselves from the blame of the rape victim’s death.

The Middle Finger Lifetime Achievement Award

The  award goes to the man who held a whole city to ransom for years, who divided the country on the basis of the state in which you live and who wore sunglasses even in dark rooms – Shri Balasaheb Thackeray.

That’s it for this year folks! We sincerely hope that the viewers enjoyed the awards ceremony and congratulations to the most deserving winners. We will be back next year with more fun filled categories!!!

[image from 1, 2, 3]

Harry Potter and the half blood prince – Movie Review

I was quite adamant to see this movie on IMAX and in 3D and not in some ordinary theatre. What surprised me was that the booking of the movie opened last month on the 15th. Yes, you read it right! That is when the enormity of the mania hit me. And to make things worse, the seats of the first week’s shows were filled within seven days! Yeah! Harry Potter is Britain’s Rajnikant.

*I don’t know why but I just imagined Harry wearing his glasses in Rajni’s style. Uff! That’s dizzying!*

Anyways, back to topic. So, how did I manage to get the tickets, you may ask. Well, none of my flatmates are remotely interested in Harry Potter series. Yeah! I know! Just don’t get me started on this. Its as if they have just been freshly transported from Mars. And, then I decided to go alone. Believe me searching for a single ticket is much simpler because there are always one or two single seats left here and there. And, so, I booked my sole ticket on the 1st of July.

I haven’t read the books. Now wait a second before you raise your eyebrows and widen your eyes. Its always better this way. A movie can rarely compete with a book. So its always good to watch the movie and then read the books. That way the movie won’t disappoint you. And that is why this movie was not at all disappointing.

The first 15-20 minutes of the movie are in 3D. So, if you have a 3D theatre near your house, its worth watching the movie there. Its amazing! Although frankly speaking, I don’t understand why the whole movie was not in 3D? Atleast the climax should have been.

Now, coming to how the movie was.

The trailer of the movie might have given you an impression that its a very fast paced and dark movie. Apparently, its not. Infact, this might be the only movie of the series which was devoid of an over-doze of wizardry and action. It was more like a prelude of the sharp twists and turns which are about to come in the last two movies. I had a feeling that the director deliberately played it down. The climax was subtle, not rising to the chilling crescendo it reached in the previous installments. It was like the lull before the actual storm begins.

There was more romance in the movie. The kids acted well! The sets were beautiful. I loved the scene where Ron is kissed by Lavender Brown, much to Hermione’s distress. She walks away and sits in a stairway and Harry comes and sit with her. She had birds fluttering over her head whom she throw towards Ron as darts. Then, there was this scene where Harry gets a smack on the head for saying – “But I am the chosen one!”. There was definitely a substantial amount of humor, love potions and weird coloured glasses.

No. The movie was not boring. It had its own pace and you start enjoying it after some time. The story dwells into Voldemort’s past when he was a student at Hogwarts, the creation of the Horcruxes, Draco’s secret plans and Ginny’s and Harry’s love story(which started sooner than that in the book, they say) and the death of you-know-who. And yes, the tussle between Ron and Hermione continues with Lavender playing the third angle.

Not the most brilliant of them all, but worth watching none the less. And, oh yes, I missed the animated creatures. There were none except for a huge dead spider!

Rating – 3.5/5

Directed by – David Yates

Official Website – http://harrypotter.warnerbros.com/harrypotterandthehalf-bloodprince/

When victim is the culprit

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality. – Bishop Desmond Tutu

So when my eyes fell upon this news article according to which girls in Kanpur have to adhere to certain ‘safety’ measures taken by the colleges to discourage sexual harassment, my first impulse was a bewildered laughter. And what are those ‘safety measures’? Well, its quite simple and basic actually. They can’t wear jeans in colleges anymore. One clean sweep and we have taken a giant stride towards freeing our country of rapists and molesters!

Run! Quick! Cover the girls!

It reminds me of an ostrich, digging a hole and burying his head as soon as he senses danger.

This isn’t something new. Women have always been accused of inviting rapes and harassment because they were wearing ‘provocative’ dresses(how jeans is provocative is something beyond me). And its not just women. Recently, Indians in Australia were told by the authorities that they invited the attacks because they carry laptops and mp3 players openly(this was something not even worth a bewildered laugh from me). And haven’t we blamed the poor for their conditions instead of the socio economic structure and how the rich suck their blood?  So, what is it with us? Why is a victim the culprit?

The Utopia

Since our birth, we are seasoned to look at the world with rose tinted glasses. Good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. God works in black and white, there are no greys. So, when a man is stabbed in a deserted lane, he is accused of inviting trouble by going there in the first place. He must have done something wrong for God to punish him with the lightening of his wrath. Death, rape, robbery, molestation does not happen to people who are good. Who remain in their limits.

Believe me, I know people who supported the recent beating up of girls in a pub in Mangalore. People are living in a fairy land created by God and they will go to any extend to maintain its sanctity. It does not matter to them that they are breaking the very laws which they have created to guard the sanctity. It does not matter to them that they are shielding the thief who stabbed the man.

Aha! A scapegoat!

Incompetency is a huge albatross to carry. Law enforcing agencies are full of incompetent people who are there just to collect money or with people who don’t have a clue about their responsibilities. And too bad if your vote bank is full of religious fanatics. Even if the government try to think about amending the age old laws which were made to curb the freedom of an individual, the fanatics will be at their throats talking about God’s will and the holy shit.

So, what happens when an illiterate housewife named Zafran Bibi goes to the police claiming that she was raped and was pregnant? She is accused of adultery and sentenced to death by stoning. For a rapist to be convicted, the crime has to be confirmed by four male eyewitnesses and the rapist must confess, they said.

Suffering and Happiness

We feel relieved and in control of our lives when we see someone suffer or when we spot a fresh scapegoat. Its a human trait. Nothing to be ashamed of. We feel more close to God.

‘Thank God, It was not me.’, we say. God has blessed me and I must be good. Relieved. Happy. Unscathed.

We forget the fact that the whole society rides on the same wave. There is nothing disjoint here. We all go up together and we all come crashing down together. Its like cancer. You can’t tell your hand that everything is all right when you have a brain tumor.

Good old Fate

Its funny how while explaining the action and its outcome for other people, we tend to emphasise on their psyche but when we find ourselves in that situation, then its all about the situation. Its threatening to our ego to accept our internal failures. Its safe to say that you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Oh God what did I do? and all that crap!

Well! You were riding the wave and it came crashing down!

When a team wins, its skills and hard work and happiness. When it loses, we burn effigies. Suddenly from being the victims of our over-pressurization, they are now the culprits.

In the End

And so you ask, ‘What about the innocent bystanders?’ But we are in a time of revolution. If you are a bystander, you are not innocent. – Abbie Hoffman

Maybe its easier to blame someone who is weak. Its less trouble. We live happily in Neverland till tragedy is at our doorsteps. We need some sort of a vicarious brain machine to wake us up. We need to live ‘those’ moments which pull you to reality and make you realize that a victim needs the whole helping hand instead of a finger pointing at him.

Maybe we need to realize that the girls in Kanpur need a free distribution of chili powder and Karate classes instead of a ban on wearing jeans.

Maybe we need to realize that stoning a woman to death will not stop the next rape.

Maybe we need to realize that every culprit was once a suppressed victim.

Monsters vs Aliens

A movie review of an animation film is the last thing you could expect out of me. But this movie is special, mainly because I wanted to watch something crazy this weekend and secondly because this is MY FIRST 3D MOVIE!!!!

Susan Murphy (Reese Witherspoon) is a happy girl who is about to get married to the man of her dreams when a meteor hits her(not metaphorically, but actually) on her wedding day. She starts glowing green and grows into a 49 feet giant. Labelled as a monster, she is captured by the military and shifted to a secret facility designed specially for monsters captured all over the world. There she meets Dr. Cockroach who is a scientist with the head of an insect(Hugh Laurie), a prehistoric fish-man (Will Arnett); Bob, a slimy indestructible monster (Seth Rogen); and Insectosaurus, a huge bug who stands 350 feet tall. Susan is heart broken and dreams of getting back to her normal life. 

Meanwhile, an alien ship commanded by Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson) comes to an alarming proximity to Earth who sends a giant robot to find out the meteor piece that landed on Earth because it contained a valuable substance. The military is not able to control it and thus the monsters are let loose to fight the giant robot. What follows is a roller coaster ride of the fight between the aliens and monsters and how the monsters defeat the enemy.

The movie had a handful of funny sequences and it will always keep you engrossed.  There is a sequence where the President of the United States goes to talk to the alien robot. He climbs a lot of stairs to reach the big eye and there is a keyboard lying there on which he starts playing the tune from “Close encounters of the third kind”, thinking the robot might respond to it. When he does not, the president remixes the tune which further aggravates the robot. The missiles which they fire on the robot had “E.T. go home” written on it! 😆

Another piece of advice. If possible, watch the movie in 3D. This is the first movie which has been produced in real 3D instead of converting the movie in 3D after it is finished. The 3D graphics are mind blowing and you are going to love it. There are scenes of outer space and fight sequences in the alien spaceship which can be truly enjoyed because of the 3D effect. I would give it an extra half star just because of that. Watch the trailer below and you will know what I mean!!

On the down-slide, the movie is very predictable. Well, you can almost guess the story from the name. But then all cartoon movies are like that. 🙂 

Rating in 2D – 3.5/5

Rating in 3D – /5

Official website – http://www.monstersvsaliens.com/

As if the Terrorists were not tormenting enough…

…we have Mamta Banerjee literally arm-twisting the Tata’s out of Singur by Violence and threatening the lives of the workers in the plant, without giving a second thought to the fact that this might be the last nail in the coffin of West Bengal’s progress.

…we have Ramalinga Raju who did not care a bit about the 53,000 employees and their families before commiting the biggest scam in the history of the Indian IT industry.

…we have NDTV and Barkha Dutt attempting to Talibanise the freedom of expression by threatning to sue a blogger who wrote about the negative role of media during the 26/11 attacks. The blogger had to finally withdraw his post and put up a forced apology on his blog. So, wait a minute…in India I can’t roam around with my girlfriend, I can’t go to pubs and malls

 and I can’t give my opinion on my own blog. I wonder if I am free to breathe? 

…we have the DDA scam where thousands of people put up their hard earned money for a chance to get their dream house and finally realized in horror that all of them were taken for a ride.

…we have Hindu extremists raping and burning nuns in Orissa. The condition was similar to what happened during the partition. Even after more than half a century of independence, we are still burning each other up. 

…our fellow citizens are killing 5,00,000 unborn girls each year in India due to gender selection because of which India has the lowest sex ratio in the world. An estimated 10 million unborn girls have been killed in the last 20 years. Its ok to worship a woman as a Goddess but its not ok to bring her to life. 

…we have Raj Thackeray sending his Sena of cheap goons to beat up all the North Indian candidates appearing in the all-India Railway Recruitment Board entrance exam. This was one of the thousands of atrocities which Raj has tormented us with. He is the one who is truely responsible for dividing the people of India further and shaming the whole country.

…we have pushed 300,000-500,000 children in prostitution in India. The red light district in Mumbai generates at least $400 million a year in revenue, with 100,000 prostitutes servicing men 365 days a year, averaging 6 customers a day, at $2 each, AND that’s just the statistics for Mumbai. There are approximately 10 million prostitutes in India. Is that a world record? 

…we have sharply pushed the Dowry deaths up ever since India opened up to foreign investment in 1990. The country has seen a rise in dowry-related violence alongside its economic boom. Dowry deaths surged from 400 a year in the mid-1980s to 5,800 a year in the mid-1990s, according to a 2001 report in Time magazine. So, the more prosperous we become, we end up being more prehistoric? Is that a world record too? 

…we have the Ram Sena, molesting and beating up girls in Mangalore because they were not following the Indian traditions and defaming it. The best part is that the goons were out on bail the very next day. The next thing you know,they might be throwing widows into the burning pyre of

 their husbands just because they may want to bring back the old Indian tradition of Sati which got lost due to the Britishers.

…we have a jaw dropping 678% increase in rape cases since 1971. According to the NCRB report, over 75% rapists were known to the victims. In fact, nearly 10% were relatives. Another disturbing aspect was that about a quarter of the rape victims were minors. And remember, this is just a data of those cases which were reported. Got the picture?

…we have the repeatedly successful attempts by the Indian government for not providing security to its citizens even when they are repeatedly alerted about the terrorist attacks way in advance. The “soft” government which waits for hunderds to die before yawning into some action. 

And Oh Yes!!! India will be able to send a man to moon by 2025. Seems quite insignificant. Doesn’t it???

Kalyug’s Ram Sena

Ramayana depicts Ram Sena as an army of monkeys who helped Sri Ram to build a bridge to Sri Lanka and saved Sita from the clutches of Ravan. In Kalyug, Ram Sena means a bunch of illiterate, unemployed and brainwashed monkeys who beat up and molest girls just because, according to them, the girls are not in sync with the “Indian” culture. Well, how times change! 

So, according to the Taliban-inspired-Ram-Sena, women in India are supposed to maintain a certain amount of decorum. But then, if that is the case, all of us should completely abide to the norms set by our culture. If they are forcing girls and boys to disown the “pub” and “mall” culture, then they should make sure that the following are followed too:

• Girls should only wear saree or salwaar-kameez. All the girls wearing jeans, skirts or pants should be beaten up. 
• Boys should only wear Kurta or other regional dresses. Jeans and other western dresses should not be allowed.
• Girls should not work and sit at home and learn the various household activities. 
• Love marriages should not be allowed. Only parents should have the right to choose the spouse for their kids.
• All the pubs in the country should be closed down.
• All the shops selling foreign attires and goods should be closed or burned down.
• All the malls should be closed down.
• All the couples roaming around in public areas should be harassed and beaten up.
• Girls should not move out of their homes alone. They should always be accompanied by an elder male member.

I am sure, the brainwashed Sena will be jumping with excitement to implement all the above mentioned points. Although, there are a few questions I would love to ask them:

1. How many of the Ram Sainiks don’t drink liquor themselves? Is it only girls who are not supposed to drink? Its ok if guys drink and indulge in all kind of inappropriate activities?
2. How many of the Ram Sainiks have not molested girls or eve-teased them? After what we all saw on television, it can be easily concluded that they were quite dexterous and I won’t be surprised if they would have practiced using Mannequins.
3. How many of the Ram Sainiks have beaten up a gang of boys eveteasing a girl, or a man beating up his wife, or a police officer taking a bribe? Of course, they won’t do all these measly tasks when they have more interesting tasks like beating up girls.
4. How many of the Ram Sainiks don’t have girlfriends and don’t roam around with girls? Are all of them Hanuman Bhakts and have taken an oath of staying unmarried for their entire life? I think “Perverts” and “Hypocrites” will be small words for them.
5. Do the Ram Sainiks realise that this is a Democracy and people who visit pubs are above 18 years of age and all capable of understanding the Indian Culture by themselves? When something has to be banned, it is the government which will decide that and not a bunch of uneducated, rustic and directionless men who are a part of an organization which is used by politicians during elections for various illegal activities.
6. Do the Ram Sainiks realize that there is a difference between India and Afganistan and they are turning the former into the latter? Should I be glad that they didn’t stone the girls to death instead of beating them up?

India is full of such Hypocrite people who can be mislead and do anything for money. What happened in Mangalore was a shameful act which just goes to show what a bunch of illiterate people we are. And, then we go ahead and belittle movies like Slumdog Millionare which show the reality to the world. If you can’t digest that, then too bad!!

I was going through a few articles on the internet about what happened in Mangalore, and here are a few gems :

• “We acted like brothers. There is no need to apologize for an act done with good intention.” – Prasad Attavar, state convener, Sri Rama Sena. [[Oh!! That is how brothers behave! Slap, shove and punch sisters?? Guess, I have to revisit my basics.]]
• “Drinking by women is not Indian culture. It’ll morally degrade our society. Women are our mothers and they should behave like that” – Prasad Attavar, state convener, Sri Rama Sena. Full story here. [[What about drinking by men?? Care to comment on that sir?? And that is how we treat our mothers??]]
• ” Women have to be protected as the law has failed. Parents are worried about their wards going astray in materialistic pursuits. We are the custodians of Indian culture” – Sri Ram Sena (SRS) founder Pramod Mutalik. Full story here. [[Which law has failed if a woman is drinking in a pub?? Do we have laws for that too??]]
• “There is no need to raise such a hue and cry about the incident.” – Sri Ram Sena (SRS) founder Pramod Mutalik. [[Yes! No one was raped or killed. Everyone is alive.]]
• “The Karnataka government will not allow pub culture to grow in the state. “ – Karnataka Chief Minister BS Yeddyurappa. Full story here. [[And what about the culture where men beat up women? Care to stop that?]]

I am disgusted, ashamed and sick by the mere thought that I am breathing the same air as these people. I am sorry to call such people my countrymen. I am sorry to be a part of a nation where people take pride in killing their daughters if they fall in love with a guy outside their community, where people rape nuns and where people beat up a girl because she is sitting in a pub. Of course, you can argue that we are better off than Afganistan. But, don’t worry. We are getting there.

Here is a video of the brotherly love. The images might be disturbing.

Can I live please?

I went to Barakhamba Road yesterday. I was standing at the exact place where the bomb blast happened last year. I moved my right ankle in a semi circle to displace the dirt on the road. Maybe I was trying to see if it was still red? I went there to meet my very old friends whom I was meeting after a gap of 7 years.  While standing there I realized how fragile my own life was. I have a lovely family, adorable friends, a good job and some dreams, but someone can press a button and everything will vanish in a second. I just have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Moving around in Connaught Place yesterday gave me this creepy feeling. I loved that place! I have some beautiful memories of C.P. but now there is always this fear that its not a safe place. The old warm feeling has died. Its gone.

Whom should I blame? Whom should I blame for embedding this fear in my heart? The fear that I might have to see a mingled, limbless, burnt body of a family member one day? The fear that I, who just want to lead his normal life and live happily ever after with his family and friends, might be blown apart the very next second?

Should I blame the Indian Government? Indians have a “Get used to it” attitude towards everything. Someone is littering on the road. Get used to it! Spitting? Get used to it! Corrupt policemen? Get used to it! BOMB BLASTS? Get used to it! Ofcourse, the Government officials also suffer from the same disease. It took thousands of people flocking the roads of Mumbai and carrying derogatory posters to wake up the government and to make them realise that there is a difference between butchering humans and butchering goats, to make them realise that they were chosen to protect us, to make them realise that “Get used to it” is not going to work this time. We, the citizens of India, choose politicians and give them bullet proof vehicles and 50 black cat commandos each from our hard earned money, not because they can feel safe and forget about the common man who is as vulnerable as he always was. Thinking and mulling over something is good but there comes a point when action is required. How long did the Pakistan Government took to sack its National Security adviser after he confirmed that the lone surviving terrorist is Pakistani? And how long did the Indian Government took to decide “something” about what Mr. A.R. Antulay said? The difference is stark and naked, and THAT is the problem with us. Having a pessimistic and defensive approach does not work when your neighbouring countries are a breeding ground for terrorists. War can never be an option, but can the  government at least come strong on our own security agencies and the police force? 

Or should I blame the Pakistani PM? He is trying every trick to make the world believe that its an internal problem of India. Infact, after his latest statement today, which says that – Why is the world more concerned about the Mumbai attacks than the killings in Palestine? ‘‘We have to see that the world does not have double standards. See how many innocent women and children have been killed in Palestine. Why is nobody talking about that? Why is the world silent on that?’’, I have decided not to follow the buffoonery anymore. Its tormenting. I think its high time that the Pakistani PM stops using the forced and mindboggling euphemisms and tell India to go to hell. That would be at least honest, if nothing else! Whether it may be Mumbai or Palestine, you would be glad to know Mr. PM, that it is me, the common man, who is dying.

I don’t care about the political mud slinging matches which Indian and Pakistani politicians are indulging in right now. I don’t care about and I am not a part of the various religious groups which are fighting their mindless and stoical wars by killing innocent people like me all over the world.

I just want to live happily. I want to love the city I live in. I wan’t to roam fearlessly in C.P. I want to believe that I will live to see my dreams fulfilled and will not be shot through my head while celebrating a friend’s birthday in a hotel or when I am at a railway station to receive a family member. Am I asking for too much? Is it too hard to achieve this? Is it too hard to stop fighting over pieces of lands, stop turning terrorism into a profession, stop waging wars in the name of religion?

Or is everything too complicated now to move it backwards?