Addicted to Himesh

Ever since Camera Phones were banned in my account in office because of increased security and because the Client raised concerns over security, I have been constantly taking cognisance of what my senses had to offer and the conscious movement of my mind to a plane about which I was completely unaware of. I don’t know what I am writing! I am in a trance! 😐

So, my beautiful-still-brand-new Motorokr E6 was snatched away from my hands by fate and the mobile landed up in my sis’s lap who was anyways going to buy a new one. Some people are so darn lucky! I had to buy a new “cheap” mobile which was not supposed to have a Camera. It was hard to move back to the stone age but somehow I did it and finally bought a Sony Ericsson’s mobile which atleast had an FM. I had a one GB card in my earlier phone which was choc-a-bloc with songs of my choice but now I was completely and helplessly on the mercy of 91.1, 92.7, 95.0, 93.8, 104.0 blah blah blah. 

The only nightmare I could for-see was being subjected to Himesh’s songs. Believe me, I haven’t listened to a single one completely. Two lines into the song and I get all panicky as my brain cells start revolting and threaten me that they would stop working! I can’t stand that nasal twang and those lung exploding histrionics. But fate, it seems, can’t work without an irony. So, while listening to FM, the first song which I came across was from Karzzzz titled Tandoori Nights. For a second, my mind went completely blank. Who the hell wrote that atrocity anyways???

Surprisingly, I didn’t flick the channel but sat through the whole song(something I still don’t believe I did). And soon I realised that I sorta…….kinda………errrr……. liked it. OK WAIT!! Its not exactly “liked it” but its hard to explain how I felt. It was the same kind of feeling one has when one bite nails or pick nose. You know you are not supposed to do it but you still do it. Its the urge which you can’t stop, can’t control. I don’t know why I sat through it, but I did!

Now a days, I listen to the song almost every day while returning from home because its always there on one channel or another. I feel I am being hypnotised by the song. There is something incredibly incredulously insane about it. Infact, I don’t believe I have written a post about it!! What are my friends going to say when they read this confession? My family is going to debar me….

Know what, we should just pretend that this never happened. I never wrote this post and you never read it. Lets just erase it from our minds. Lets not ever talk about this. Lets this be one of our dirty little secret which we would take to our graves.

Oh!!! They are again playing it on the FM. Have to run and enjoy/love/hate/like/abhor the song. I AM SO CONFUSED! 😐

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Basic Etiquette

Lets clear the airs first, shall we? The post is not about girls!!!! Its just about people in general. Its about those inconsiderate, tactless and thoughtless people who perform the most disgusting acts in public(and at home too!!!) and don’t feel the S of Shame. Infact, the insensitivity is so deep rooted that they don’t even realise that they have done something despicable unless, maybe, you go and scream your lungs out in front of them. So, here is a clear list of a few Basic activities you should not do in public(or when you are visiting someone). If I ever find you doing any of them in my presence, your score might just scale the heights of negativity. 

 

1. Don’t make that GURGLING sound, for God’s sake!!

I Could never understand why people make that irritating sound when they are brushing their teeth or rinsing their mouth after a meal. I mean, is it really necessary? Specially in public places? There is this guy in my office who can’t digest his food without making that noise and I have to bear that trauma of listening to it every bloody day. Sometimes I even feel like chocking him with all the hand towels. And did I tell you that my mom and dad also make that sound while brushing their teeth? And even Grandma and Granddad used to do that? And, oh boy!! The sound which Granddad made did cracked a few windows at home.

2. Could you eat with your mouth shut?

Some people just can’t help it. They have to talk while there is food in their mouth. The only difference between such people and a Buffalo is that the food is not dripping from their mouth. Otherwise its pretty much the same sight. There was a friend of mine who used to do this and she was a sight when she used to eat ice-cream. Lips smeared with vanilla while she blobbed her mouth to speak. Earlier, I just looked away, but now a days, I have turned completely shameless. I just tell such people to shut up.

3. Do you know what a “LANE” means?

In India, people have pathetic sense of driving and we all know that. But STILL we don’t leave any chance of creating chaos. Even if there is a slight problem ahead on the road, we jump in the opposite lane and move our vehicles ahead. Soon more cars follow and the whole road is one way with no place for the vehicles coming from the opposite direction. From what I have observed, the only way to stop people from doing that is by placing electric dividers in the middle of the road, which would send an electric shock as soon as a vehicle come in their contact.

4. Are there beetles in your shirt?

A few days back, one of my cousin came home with her husband and the first thing which he did after he entered our house was to take off his shirt. WTF???? Even my cousins(male ones) used to do that and this pisses me off to no ends. Its ok if you dance naked in your own house but can we maintain a level of decency when we visit someone? And the worst part was that I was expected to do the same thing when I visit them. Arghhhh!!! What am I? A porn star?

5. Remove those Smoke signals

I hate smoking, so much that I can’t even stand a person who had just smoked and forgot to take up a mouth freshener. I have the nose of a dog and I can smell out such a person from a kilometer away. Thankfully, most of the people in corporate offices use mouth fresheners because some clients are very particular about such matters but then you can always find some idiots everywhere. A few of my colleagues smoke and sometimes I have to give them company to the roadside smoking counter. While I stand there watching them whiff of the smoke, I wonder whether I am being drugged enough or should I ask them to blow the smoke somewhat more closer to my face.

6. Do you know the difference between a dog and a man?

I have always wonder how women can hold the urge to urinate in open public places while men don’t even think twice before copying dogs? I mean, if women can hold it, men can too. Can’t they? I remember, in class 12, we were returning from a school trip to Haridwar and the driver stopped the bus somewhere so that all the boys(who were awake at that odd hour) can take a leak. I could just imagine what the girls would have gone through at that point. The curses would have hit Gods really hard!

7. When you borrow, guard the thing with your life

I hate it when people return my books in a deplorable condition. I love my books and DVDs and earlier I used to share them a lot with my friends, but when they started to come back to me torn and scratched, I stopped sharing. I could never understand why people can’t take care of other people’s stuff. Is it so tough? I think it goes to show how insensitive a person is to small small things and some people just don’t have it in them. Losers!!!

8. The world is my spittoon

Piccchakkk!!!! That sound just drives me crazy! I could kill a person right there when I hear that! If you spit on the road or any other goddamn place, you can’t even be my acquaintance. Period! The worst I have seen is that when the Delhi Government announced a fine of 50 Rs on people who spit on roads. There was a hoarding on the road announcing this and people have spitted on that! How incredibly shameless can we get? And, ofcourse, I don’t have to say anything about the way we throw litter where ever we like.

I could go on and on about many such basic etiquette which we lack, but this post is getting quite long. I have a few friends who belong to a few of the above mentioned categories but sometimes you just have to grin and bear it. But let me declare it today – I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WHEN YOU DO IT!!!!! 

There! A stone lifted from my heart.

Please be a little more sensitive to your surroundings and fellow humans. Lets learn the basics first.

Hoodwinked from the slideshow

So…Diwali came and went and all I got was one lousy holiday. Life, it seems, is running faster than I can fathom. A day after Diwali, I got an invitation to view a Picasa album of a friend who is in US of A. She was there with me in Chennai from the last two and a half years and was lured by Uncle Sam at almost the same time when I was being sucked into the whirlpool of Delhi. In the Album, she was performing the evening Diwali Puja with her new friends. Many of my friends who were there in Chennai with me are in USA right now and I am used to watch such Picasa slideshows in which they are standing and laughing with strangers in strange lands, but this Diwali slideshow left me with a slight tinge of envy. 

No, I am not unhappy because I am still waiting for an overseas assignment which seems to be too difficult to grab and which my friends got served on a golden platter AND which, God might just throw at me after sucking and chewing out every ounce of hope from my heart. No, I am not unhappy because I wish to see the world through my own eyes rather than through some bloody Discovery channel AND I know that God might just grant this wish after trampling it under his feet. Yes, I get everything in life….when I don’t want it anymore…when I am done lusting after it. 

Anyways, the point is that, I felt slightly envious(and nostalgic) because I went into flashback when we were all together and had such good time back in Chennai. And now I see them having a good time with strangers. Once I was there in all those slideshows but now I am not there in any of them. Sometimes I feel like a part of those scenes in the movies where the hero is dancing with his servant and thinking about his lady love AND then Voila!! The servant is replaced by the love of hero’s life. Its as if, I am watching a slideshow of the pictures of the great time we had together and then suddenly I start disappearing from the pictures one by one till am not there in any of them. Hoodwinked by God and replaced by strangers. 

But, then come to think of it, isn’t this the story of our life? Just take out all your photographs of past 10 years and have a look at them. You will realise that in all of them, you are standing at one place while the people around you keep on changing. You are the center of your Universe. You are not moving. Its the Earth that is moving around you, bringing new faces to stand besides you. You are hoodwinked out of a slideshow so that you become a part of another one, but the point is that, you are ALWAYS a part of one of them. 

So, yes, I was envious, but then I smiled. Life always come up with its own set of surprises. It never stop amusing you. The way it unfolds is what makes it beautiful. Yes, you can’t get back what just passed you by and you can’t fight the absence of a person or an unfulfilled dream but then you always have those slideshows…the portals to your past and your past’s present.

And GOD, well, I think he is just a child spoilt silly by all of us. 🙂

Venus and Mars

First thing first, I would like to thank Reema and Dinesh who gave me the Honest Blogger award last week. Thankyou so much guys!!! 😀 The way our mutual admiration society is growing, I have to create an awards page very soon. 🙂

I would like to pass this award to Ish, Ashish, Lallopallo, Sakhi and Sulz.

Now the post. Nothing much to write but I got these pictures in various mails and couldn’t stop myself from sharing them.

1. The First set of seven sketches depict a few *ahem* world known facts. Well, boys always have a planned approach towards everything. We are smart workers and make sure that we enzzzzzzzoy everything life has to offer. 😛

2. The next two are Unspoken communication between two girls and two boys. Here the girls are doing all the multitasking. But then they won’t be getting that extra hour of sleep doing this. They will just lose sleep. 😛

3. Saved the icing for the last. The sentence roughly translates to – You are not allowed to address the auto driver as brother if you are with your boyfriend. This guy seems to be royally pissed off!!! 😀

That’s all folks! Enzzzzzzzzoy the Sunday!

p.s. If any of the photos above are copyrighted, then please let me know. I will remove them.

On my journey home…

…I see the sunlight changing colours on Zadie Smith’s White Teeth, from bright yellow to orange to twilight, till I could not read it anymore.

…I see airplanes taking off and making grumbling sounds as they pass over the bus, destined to go way above the clouds.

…I see a woman begging with a new born in her hands, moving from one vehicle to another at a busy traffic intersection.

…I see a man making momos on a footpath and surrounded by engineers who are juggling the momos and money in their hands for a quick bite before they head home.

…I see a shoal of cars waiting to clear the huge red toll which looks like a giant red shark waiting to gulp in all of them.

…I see the Sun shifting position in the clouds as the bus moves, suddenly peeking out and raining its perfect straight rays into my eyes, thus triggering the war between the iris and the pupil.

…I see a small boy cleaning the cars which stop at the signals and then asking for money which he never gets.

…I see leaves wildly rustling on a branch illuminated by a yellow streetlight as if trying to break away from their destiny of being attached to the tree till he discards them on his own whim.

…I see a huge mall which is said to be a kilometer long and then I see a man sleeping on the road outside the mall wearing torn clothes with dirt seeping into each and every pore of his skin and a beard which reminds me of a virus gone out of control.

…I see a silent caterpillar shaped metro stopping at a station before it swings its doors open to let go of the captives and then I turn around and see an Indian Railways train, proud of its enormity and rumbling before it disappears into a tunnel.

…I see a man holding his wife like a sharp eyed eagle holding a terrified mouse, so that they could cross the busy road.

…I see my own reflection in the window as the driver switch on the lights inside the bus and then I start worrying that my face and age tell two different stories.

[[All the photos are taken from the www ocean and I apologise for my irregular presence at WordPress but it has been a really busy week. Presentations, tests, playbacks and assignments took almost all my time and then the monsoons stopped all the vehicles creating a nightmarish four hour journey back home which left me completely exhausted to do anything except breathing.]]

The glasses and the tussle

I recently crushed my glasses under my feet because of which it ended up with a broken right nose pad and a twisted frame temple. As I was not having a spare which I am quite sure nobody has, the loss sent me reeling to an Optical shop close by, named Blue Bay. The name made me think that what would have been the name of the shop if it would have been an outlet for watches. Well, Blue Baywatch. 😀

I entered the shop with crossed fingers because a no-we-don’t-repair-glasses would have landed me into a situation of near despair. Thankfully, the old and decrepit yet assertive human sitting on the other side nodded as I asked the quintessential question.

“It will cost you 30 Rs.”, he said as he stared at me with raised eyebrows and handed the glasses to a teenage helper.

As I was waiting for my glasses to emerge from the operation theatre, the uncle eyed my watch and asked me its price. I told him very politely that it was a gift from a friend from overseas and thus I had no idea about the price. He gave an impressed and sad nod. He then bombarded me with questions about my job, my package and my future prospects, which I answered very politely while twirling my fingers. It was then that he started pouring his personal life in front of me.

It looked like the well being of his sons was the only main concern of his life. According to him, his elder son was somehow settled but the younger one was quite aimless and was corrupted by his friend circle.

“All I want him is to settle down so that I don’t think that I have wasted my life and resources on him. He is a graduate but does not know what to do in his life. Whenever is zero in on anything, his friends dissuade him to follow the path.”, he said.

There were many questions which I wanted to ask this elderly person. I wanted to ask him that what kind of a parent he was? How did he treated his children when they were studying in schools?

• Was he a “Superman” father who wanted his son to have all the properties of a “Superhero”? Did he wanted his son to be a superhuman(so that he could puff his chest in front of his peers) instead of finding out if his son was capable of being one or not?
• Was he a “dreamer” father who wanted to burden his son with all his dreams instead of finding out if his son was capable of fulfilling them or not? And irrespective of knowing what dreams did his son carry in his own mind?
• Was he an “understanding” father who always told his son that he has to choose a path for himself. He has to understand what interests him the most and carve a career out of it, because what is the point of doing a job which you don’t love? Did he tell his son that money isn’t everything in life but satisfaction is?
• Was he an “indifferent” father who thought that studies and exams was a department which his wife was supposed to handle and all he had to do was to shout and slap when the results went bad?

I wanted to ask him if the concern he shows for his sons have materialized out of thin air just because things went beyond repair because of his neglect or because he pressurised his sons to fulfill his own dreams OR was he always so concerned about his sons? If the former case was true, then he was not in a position to blame anyone but himself. For the latter case, his sons needed a good lashing and a reality check.

But I didn’t ask anything. I just listened to what he had to say and consoled him with whatever kind words came in my mouth. I told him to talk it out with his younger son and to come to a mutual understanding. I did not react because I have seen and heard this story so many times. Its either the *pressure building up, the sound of the shattered dreams, the sacrifices for the sake of the society and finally a job which pays the bills* story or the *aimless son, concerned parents, clashes and the son realizes everything too late, blame game continues for the rest of the life* story.

Although, I was not aware of the category in which his story fell, but it made me think anyways. I wanted to tell him that you can clap only with two hands. If he thinks that his son failed him then his son would have his own story to tell. And I have always found it very amusing how parents turn into an understanding and kind psychiatrist when things are beyond repair. Aren’t 18 years a big enough time to understand your child? To understand his/her interests? And to understand that every child needs the liberty to chose a path for him? Similarly, shouldn’t his son realize that he can’t depend on his parents for the rest of his life? Shouldn’t he understand that he has to think what he wants to do and convince his parents(although they are so worried that they would be too happy to accept)?

Finally I got my glasses back and I stood up.

“Sorry to trouble you with my grievances. Please let me know if there are any good courses for the graduates.”, he said.

“No trouble at all and I’ll definitely let you know if something catches my eyes.”, I told him and smiled.

* * *

Now this post has really turned gloomy. Let me cheer you up. Recently I was nominated in two categories for the Second Annual Dabido Awards. Although I did not win in either of them but I am happy that I was nominated. The first category was the Fun Guy Award(Blogger most likely to be mistaken for a form of fungi. Must be a blogger. Is not allowed to actually BE a fungi) and the second category was the Photoshop Me Award(Best photo. Photo must be original work by blogger being nominated). Well, *Sigh*, better luck to me next time. 😀 You can see the results here.

The I and The Muzik

The I Meme

Nova tagged me for this meme. Here it goes.

i am: vulnerable yet strong, emotional yet ruthless, happy yet sad, afraid yet fearless, surreptitious yet open and Einstein yet Bush.
i think: there is always a reason behind everything, that we are all part of a bigger scheme of things.
i know: that life is beautiful.
i want: to break free, to inhale tons of fresh air and to let go of a few dreams I am clinging to.
i have: hope and faith. Love and fear.
i wish: to fulfill my present lot of dreams so that I can move to the next lot.
i hate: diplomats and hypocrites.
i miss: the days devoid of anxiety.
i fear: calamities.
i feel: anxious right now, afraid of what the future holds.
i hear: the whirl of the air conditioner. The unexplained emotions churning in my brain.
i smell: a normal life ahead. Full of ups and downs and hopefully some meaning to it.
i crave: for being with my family right now. To cry out loud. To laugh till tears run my cheeks.
i search: for the purpose of being born on this planet.
i wonder: how faith in God can make a human kill someone.
i regret: nothing.
i love: anything which puts a smile on my face.
i ache: to visit Dalhousie. To see my Nani ma who lives there.
i care: for small small things and…
…i always: end up looking like a fool. 
i am not: a fool.
i believe: that life means moving on and not clinging to the past.
i dance: in dance parties and in my dreams. 
i sing: when people ask me a 100 times to. 
i cry: rarely. But when I do, there is no stopping me. I end up like a broken dam.
i don’t always: ask for things. Some things are better understood than asked.
i fight: rarely. But when I do, then my opponent is in big trouble.
i write: in my blog and in my brain.
i win: to loose lose everything.
i lose: to make someone happy. 
i never: do something to someone which I don’t want someone to do to me.
i confuse: people when I want to hide something.
i listen: to anyone who has something to tell. I am a very good listener(I can sleep with my eyes open 😉 ).
i can usually be found: reading, watching a movie, sleeping with my mouth open or blogging.
i am scared: of loosing control of my life.
i need: to find a girl to fall in love with.
i am happy about: the fact that I have people around me with whom I can share my happiness and sorrows. 

The Muzik Meme

The meme queen, Poonam tagged me to do this Music meme. The rules first.

Think of THE song that most inspires you to write, whether it gives you an idea for a story, script or just puts you into a better frame of mind AND/OR peek into the lyrics and find a verse that sums up the theme of whatever project it is you’re working on.

If possible, post a video of the song to convey to readers the full context of the song and the mood it puts you into. Finally, send the assignment to five other writers to do as well.

1. That’s the way it is – Celine Dion

This song always manage to cheer me up whenever I am in a dull mood. Beautiful lyrics.

2. Rhythm Divine – Enrique Iglesias

The song which still remains as fresh as a dewdrop, even when I have heard it a million times. Very very romantic.

3. Ye na thi hamari Qismat – Mirza Ghalib

The lyrics of the song still amaze me. “Mujhe kya bura tha marna, agar ek baar hota” (Dying would not have been that bad, if it would have happened only once). Profound to the core.

4. Show me the meaning – Backstreet Boys

Beautiful lyrics and the guitar is amazing. Perfect song to feel lonely in a crowd.

Ok, before I loose control and end up pasting the whole youtube here, I end this meme. As a parting shot here is a list of celebrities I resemble. 😉 I got this from Sulz.

Well, I always knew I resemble a hero and Adrien Brody is good enough. And Einstein (*Ahem*) is also fine although he is a bit old, I must admit. And who the hell is Song Hye-kyo??

Whatever. 😐 I am not tagging anyone. Please help yourself. That’s all folks. I am outta here. Phew!!! 🙂

Your Jaw drops when…

…you notice a guy in your office who is wearing a white shirt with sky blue polka dots on it. A FORMAL SHIRT WITH POLKA DOTS!!!

…you wake up in the middle of the night and find two of your best friends(a boy and a girl of course) kissing. They are sitting next to you in a bus while returning from a school trip and have vehemently denied any sort of a relationship.

…your project leader sends a mail to the whole team without doing a spell check re-reading(*thanks Poonam*) and has misspelled list as lust.

…your project manager sends a “Happy Birthday” mail to you by copy pasting it from the sent items list in his mailbox and forgets to change the name of the earlier recipient. So you get a mail with a “Happy Birthday Vishnu” written in bold instead of “Happy birthday Amit”.

…one of your female friend tells you that a friend of her had a misconception that the male reproductive organ is 1 foot long and is coiled.

…your mother throws a brick at your neighbour’s house because she wants him to stop singing at the top of his voice on a loudspeaker, because your final board exams are going on and because she is cooking food and does not have time to go and talk to him!!!

…you spot an employee of your company sitting in the discussion room and reading Hanuman Chalisa.

…one of your friend at the office comes to you and tells you that she got engaged in the weekend. She was told about the engagement by her family on Friday and the ceremony took place on Saturday. She saw the guy for the first time during the engagement.

…after being verbally battered and bruised with Physics theory questions by two panels for P.hD entrance in JNU and after loosing all hopes of even being considered for a selection, you are selected.

…your grandma tells you that her father was a very rich man and had just finalised a huge land deal in Delhi for a big bungalow just before he died.

…your grandma(again!!!) tells you that she was offered movies when she was young but it was considered inappropriate in that era for girls to act in movies, so her father refused. You feel like going and yelling at your grandma’s dad that if he would have not interfered with his daughter’s destiny, you would have been launched by now and would have won a handful of awards and would have done some movies with Kareena.

…your cousin drops her towel(followed by a scream and slamming of the door) when she is dancing to “Mere khwaboon main jo aaye” as she moved from the bathroom to her room.

…you come to know that one of your roommate whom you considered to be worthless and irritating and someone a girl will never touch with a barge pole, has a girlfriend.

…your classmate in class eight comes one fine morning in the classroom and declares that he had lost his virginity last night and continues to tell his tale after the gasps had died down.

…and finally, when your parents declare that they are not going to search for any girls to marry you because a moron(read astrologer) have told them that their son is going to fall in love soon.