Open letter to all the molesters and rapists

The Guwahati Molesters

Dear Wannabe/Seasoned Molester and Rapist,

I will address you as pig in this post. I know that the pigs will be angry but I will personally say sorry to them.

Dear Pig,
I was very young when I saw my mother braving you in a bus. You were middle-aged and were leaning on her, rubbing your crotch on her shoulder. She was sitting on the ladies seat and politely asked you to step back. When you ignored her numerous times, she lost it and shouted at you – ‘Step back or I will slap you.’ Everyone in the bus looked at you. You stepped back.
I was a boy aged 7-8 years but I remember looking at you with hatred in my eyes. I still remember your face.

Then my sister told me about another one of your ilk. She was returning from a wedding with mom. A car was following them. When they reached home, the car stopped and the window rolled down. You were sitting there smiling at her. You took out a 500 Rs note and waved it at her. No, you did not molest her physically but the action was more than that.
She was brave a few years later when during a family holiday in Amritsar, you brushed passed her and tried to touch her. She dug her nails in your arm and twisted it. She did not leave your arm and dug deeper. You had to shove her nails away. You must have bled. She had long nails. I saw it happen but I was too far away to react and you mingled in the crowd quickly, rubbing your arm.

I sometimes wonder how many such acts of molestation my mother, sister and wife have gone through about which I am completely unaware. I am afraid to ask them. I know I will crumble to pieces, my mind will explode.

I know you are an offspring of lawlessness. You exist because the public servants who behave as our rulers think it is not a big deal if a woman gets molested in India. They think it’s a way of life. That is why you are capable of having the audacity to molest a woman on camera, because you know that there are no laws in this country. It is not difficult to rape someone and go scot-free in India. Thousands of pigs have achieved the fete and are proud of it. You exist because of this sexually oppressed nation in which you are born. You exist because we draw lines and apply rules for women; give separate seats to them in buses and trains, thus turning them into desirable objects which have to be attained. You exist because women are taught to be vulnerable since they are born. You exist because the crowd has not picked up a stone yet.

But tell me Pig, what will happen if someone threw a stone at you while you molest a girl in public? What will happen if someone kidnaps you and castrate you? What if someone brings an axe and cut off your hand? And believe me this will happen, because you have crossed your limits. All the people who are suffering by your hands will one day realise that no help will come and they have to help themselves, take things in their hands. And that is when they will pick up the knife. That is when they will dig their nails in your face.

I have seen the fear on your face. Once when you tried to molest a girl in the Metro, the guy with her slapped you so many times that you stumbled to the other end of the coach. You ran out when the doors opened and ran very fast. I would have loved to see the guy holding you by the neck and ask the girl to slap you, but you got your lesson. This is what will happen eventually. This is what is in store for you.

I know you frequently visit Vaishno Devi. I know your religious head bows down in front of a lot of female deities. I know you follow religions which teach to respect women. I know you would boil in anger if someone molest a female from your family. So, what is this all about treating women not related to you as objects? How is your mother different from a woman whom you dare to strip in full public view for your fun? How is the woman whom you ogle at in a bus different from your sister? I wonder what kind of family upbringing you had. From where did this desperation for flesh came? Is it because you are a born loser and could not achieve anything in your life and you know that no decent woman will come near you? Is this your way of telling your feeble ego that you are still in control of your puke-worthy life?

Believe me, with people like you around, we really miss all those medieval forms of torture as punishments where they peeled off the skin of culprits and threw them in drums of chillies.

I fear for my family, Pig. I fear that one day my wife will go for her job and never return. I fear that one day I might find my sister in a condition which will haunt me for the rest of my life. You have no idea how it feels to live in such a constant fear. You have no idea how it plays with your mind, looping again and again till it becomes a part of you. You have no idea how it feels to live like this in your own country.

You cannot begin to imagine what the women in this country go through everyday. You are taking away their freedom Pig, you are terrorizing them into staying indoors, you are isolating them and no one is going to take that chin down. After all, you are just a pig.

My last piece of advice for you Pig – Please go and jump off a building. The world will be very beautiful after that. You are just like the dirt stuck in a shoe – not required and to be washed away.

Yours truly,

A person with a stone in his hand.

Related posts –

Terrorism against a whole community called women

In a land of Maha-abuse

Yet Again

196 comments on “Open letter to all the molesters and rapists

  1. I don’t know why, but reading your post made me cry. It is the pent up rage of the recent few days and the past many years. I t is for all of us who go through this day in and day out and also for the very few who actually understand our plight.
    Even the non-violent will turn violent the way things are. I am also a person with a stone in my hand.

    • Shail,
      I am afraid nowadays. Every time a female of my family goes out alone, I have this panic button which goes off. I never stop them because that is what the bastards want but it kills me that I cannot live without this constant tension. It’s disgusting.
      It was very difficult for me to write about the experiences of my family. I am choked every time I think about it.

      • You know Amit, I am actually not going to share this article with my friend about whom I have written in my comment somewhere below. It took a long time for her to recover from the trauma.
        But I want to quote her here, the next day when she was walking to her office, she called me up and said, ‘I just don’t feel safe. I am scared of every guy who passes me. I feel like someone would suddenly jump on me anytime’.

        I understand why you are afraid nowadays. 😦

  2. I agree with Shail, this made me blink my eyes as tears formed. Yes, we are vulnerable because we have been taught to be so, to tolerate and not retaliate, all in the name of feminine virtues. I am sharing this post

  3. I too join all of you with a lynch, iron rod and stone in my hand. Hand over the criminals to us. We will give them their just desserts.

  4. Thank you for writing this.I’m unable to pen down al the emotions which I ate after reading this.
    This is the best support we can get to know that there is somebody else too assertive enough to fight for us.
    Reblogging it..
    Thank you so much

  5. Pingback: Shame on you, India « Attempts at Prose and Poetry…

  6. Beautifully written, Amit. Thank you. Angry tears in my eyes – I still cannot get over what happened in Guwahati. Lets try and make this a movement. EVERYONE should be ready with a stone in their hand, when such incidents occur.

    • Thanks IHM. Writing it brought tears to my eyes.
      When you have seen your family go through this and so many people around you and read it so many times, you are bound to get affected and understand. You are not human if you can’t.

  7. Reblogged this on Dreamz Forever and commented:
    A stone in both my hands –
    Amit, kudos and thanks from all the women fraternity.. God bless you!
    AND.. my questions,
    When will a woman be safe in our country? When will the time come, when these criminals will be punished in a way that they are not able to differentiate between crime and duty? When will they be rendered eunuchs for life, for there can not be a punishment lower than this for molesters and rapists?

  8. Amit, you have this beautiful way of speaking the heart of a woman – an anguished woman at that, and the concerns and fears that you have in ur heart for the women in ur life.. I am sure the men in our lives have the same fears too. It’s just not safe anywhere.
    A stone in both my hands..
    I have reblogged this… this post has to go viral.

    • Thanks for ReBlogging this Punam.
      Yes, I have seen the women in my life go through this ordeal and I have this constant fear inside me for their safety. I do not want to live with this fear. I refuse to live with this fear.

  9. Very well written Amit….. I have stones in both of my hands…. got to teach these people..oops i dont think they are supposed to be called human beings as their deeds are completely inhuman…
    And believe me its everywhere…. on roads we walk everyday…. in buses, trains… but u give it back and these losers can’t dare show their face again …
    My sisters/ friends be strong and give it back….we were thought to be vulnerable…but we aren’t… raise one voice and u will be surprised to find 100 supporting u..
    Kudos to you Amit…. i guess its the first time I have raised my voice on a social forum like this!!!!

  10. That was a Full Blast on the Pig all right! I am not sure though it will make a dent into that thick hide even by a millimetre. These are when times I feel like setting up concentration campsbut I am afraid it will exceed all imaginable sizes. That is the amount of slime we have in our ‘shining India’. I liked the entire post but I especially appreciate the following words:

    I know you frequently visit Vaishno Devi. I know your religious head bows down in front of a lot of female deities….

    I think the religiosity the criminals harbour is directly proportional to their heinous acts.

    • I think if we set up a concentration camp for such people, we might reduce the population of India significantly. We will kill more Indians than the Jews killed by Hitler.
      Yes, that is the worst part. Most of them will be very religious and then will connect their deeds to saving the culture and all that crap.
      I know my post will not make a dent but my stone will.

  11. capital punishment is all they deserve. a society cannot breed such pigs unless people around them condone such behavior. trust me, there are many ‘so called’ educated people whose first reaction to this incident was/is/will be ‘amusement’

    i am ashamed to be living in this society

    • The Educated people will first blame the girl. I believe they would have done the same in this case if the video would not have gone viral. Our society is molester friendly and that is a major part of the problem.

  12. Absolutely appalling. To think that these animals believe they have the right to do something like this. The notion of “Indian culture” has been badly abused by most Indians.

  13. I too have stones in my both hands………might be pigs were bowing their heads in front of Vaishno Devi, but i wanna bow my head in front of you who feels the pain a girl, a woman go through while public eyeing the whole situation just give a glance to it with a smirk on their face. It’s not astonishing to say that even brothers are in the race of pigs. Albeit, they don’t molest you in public, as they can’t, but they exist in this world. I wish to have a man like you around me.

    • Gayatri, there is no need to feel any gratitude. There are many men out there like me who feel equally disgusted at the state of things. All of us are in a minority right now but our number will grow and we have to make sure that the coming generation is on our side.

  14. I would be lying if I said I was not moved after reading this post. I choked and had to wipe away the fury that welled in my eyes. I too hold a stone in one hand. The other is rolled into a fist.

  15. Reblogged this on alltrueist and commented:
    I would be lying if I said I was not moved after reading this post. I choked and had to wipe away the fury that welled in my eyes. Though I have been away from the blog sphere, I decided to reblog this.
    I too hold a stone in one hand. The other is rolled into a fist.

  16. Pingback: Indian Bloggers blog on Guwahati incident & other issues this week

  17. We need to start using that stone.. one won’t help need a few in our pockets too.

    Need of the hour is to get together and make a noise, a noise that will wake the sleeping the deaf all of them…

    Sad situation in our nation , I have a addon to this , will post very soon..

      • Thanks Bikram. Yes, noise has to be made but we have been making it from decades. This is not the first incident. I think nothing less that a Anna Hazare kind of a protest can wake up our ‘rulers’.

        • by noise I meant something else … I meant the noise made by the great martyrs sardar Bhagat singh, Chandrashekhar azaad, Udham singh, Rajguru, Sukhdev and hundreds more.. they were less in number But when they made that NOISE.. the indian people-congress-britishers THEY ALL HEARD IT..

          that is the noise i am talking about SIR.

          no dis respect to anna ji and others but Gandhian ways did not get us independance alone.. the noise Helped a LOT..

          the earlier we understand the better our nation would be .. all that is happening now in our nation was Told by the martyrs , they said then in 1931 that such things will happen .. Lo and behold no one listened then , here we are exactly what was told .. Hope we learn from the mistakes made THEN and do something now …

          • Bikram,
            We are living in an era where noise made virtually reaches the government very quickly. Whatever action has been taken in this case is because of the noise which media and people made. Newspapers frequently site tweets and blog links to convey public anger. So what we are doing here is not going waste.
            The problem begins when the culprits are held and the case begins. That is where a change in process and mindset is required. The government can play a huge role in this. We were able to eradicate polio then why can’t we eradicate this mindset?
            We all know that the government is listening but do they care? We can take out rallies, burn a few cars, sit on hunger strikes, but will they care?

  18. Really, Amit, I feel a lil bit less angry and ashamed now that I know there are men who feel like you also…would give you a standing ovation if I could for so strongly articulating the feelings of most of us…

  19. Ok, am feeling a lot better knowing there are men like you who feel like this…and reading about the experiences your mom and sis went thru and seeing it thru your eyes was an eyeopener..I havent read many men writing so emotionally about this…dont think there is a single lady in India who has not encountered this objectification…I used to think if I was some sort of an animal in a zoo, just walking on the streets, tho now its a lot better…hats off to you for so strongly articulating what many of us feel….

    • Thanks Karishma for your kind words and for liking the post.
      There are many men out there who feel equally appalled by the way things are. I have seen my family and friends go through the ordeal and I feel sick that I live in such a society where Victim blaming is the norm.

  20. Pingback: Open letter to all INDIANS « Me and My Random Thoughts

  21. Standing ovation Amit! I don’t want a stone…I want a chainsaw. I never thought I can even have such violent thoughts – but the events of the past few days have revealed a new dimension in my mind. And I am glad I feel this rage – else I would be abnormal.

    • Thanks Sumana.
      I too am a very non violent person but there is so much anger inside me that I might kill them with my bare hands and I am glad too that I have these thoughts.

    • I think they have put posters of these guys in Assam. I know this is nothing compared to what this girl went through. And all those molesters will not be repenting. They will be thinking – So many guys in India are spared the humiliation. No one makes their videos, no one put their posters. Why us?
      Isn’t that a very common thought which criminals go through?

  22. well….what to say…it is not the 1st time that happened in Guwahati nor it is going to be the last either, unless we stop being “the onlookers”….

    • Yes Irfan. That was the most disturbing part. No one moved an inch seeing all that was happening. I know everyone fear for their life. All it takes a knife to end a life but that shows the kind of faith we have for our laws.

  23. Amit,

    Navigated from Punam’s blog. Almost 5 years ago I had suggested in my blog in another blogspace that convicted rapists or molesters should be castrated and made to work under watch in mental hospital for women cleaning all the area messed up by them. And trial should be time bound, say 6 months from trial court to the Supreme Court. Pending that, in this case if I have my way all these beasts should be hung upside down on a tree and left there. Hope and pray that public becomes wise and reacts against such pitiable creatures in strong way.

    Take care

  24. For me stone is not enough these pigs are shameless creatures they they will never repent on what ever they did thr only solution is to be hang till death within 24 hrs of the day in which they did the crime.

  25. You are so right Amit. And I can’t imagine what you would have felt as an 8 year old boy to witness such an incident and your sister’s car incident made me feel dirty all over.

    Your post reminds me of a scene from Damini, where during the climax, she picks up the axe to drive away her attackers. It is so symbolic. We have reached the point where women need to shed their image of an ‘abala nari’ and bring out the Kali ma roop. Only then will the monstrous acts stop.

    • Thanks for Reblogging this Maddie.
      Maddie, I understand the scenario where 10 people come against 1 person. That one person is helpless. But in a scenario where a whole crowd is watching, we can all come together and help the victim.
      We all need to shed this image of innocent bystanders. If you are a bystander during such a crime, you are not innocent.

  26. This is what exactly I had in mind. I see yet another news where jawans molested again in Assam! Pig still can be slaughtered publcly .. these people should meet the same end– that just is one of my strong wish. In middle east there is strict punishment to such crimes. This is one thing I like there keeping aside the other things. I hope LAW shud be altered. when god knows.

    • Yes, I saw that news. I have also read an allegation that a news channel crew instigated the men to molest the girl. Don’t know how true that is.
      I admire middle east for that. It would be great if such laws are introduced here but I am sure that will never happen.

  27. Like Shail above said, I had this lump in my throat reading your post…past one week I’ve come across such insane and…. I’m just not able to put a word’s so gross…so many things …happening with so many girls across the nation…and no action being taken…just how would all this stop? When would it stop?

    Are we supposed to just live under the fear that next could be us?

    • Scribby,
      After immense pressure the Assam police have been asked to find all the molesters within 48 hours. I am not sure what will happen of them but I wonder how much of this would have happened if the video would not have gone viral. The problem in India is that you really have to rattle the authorities to get an ounce of action.

  28. Such a new low we have hit. Ashamed, appalled at how this country is treating its women. Its time to pelt those stones we have in our hands.

  29. As much as I hate what some ‘men’ do, I have never regarded them as pigs. I do recall calling them ‘lowlives’ and real ‘jerks’ though.

    What has happened/is happening to your country has shaken not only a few but many, even us on my side. This is something out of the ordinary and has to reach the awareness of everybody.

    It has, as I observed, given courage to other woman who had similar experiences to come out of the open. However, as I wrote earlier in my post in defense to women and children, we are not asked to form ‘hate groups’ but to think of ways on how this kind of ‘evils could be avoided, if not, immediately reported. How do we help children and women come out of this kind of slavery?

    Given that you have stoned two, three, a thousand, a million rapists and molesters at hand ~ how do we handle and face the generations that are coming? How do we form (reform) the values necessary for men to ‘RESPECT’ human dignity?

    I think these are more important issues to be raised…

    • Melissa,
      Yes there are many women who are coming out and sharing their experiences. Its a very positive sign.
      Considering a scenario where a woman is being molested in front of your eyes, you will not wait for it to get over so that you would then report the authorities. As a human being, you are supposed to put a stop to it.
      Also, I think ‘hate group’ against men with such a mentality is justified. They are beyond repair and need a good lashing.
      As far as the coming generation is concerned, we as parents and teachers have to make sure that we make them understand the importance of respecting each other. That is our only true hope. We also have to make strict laws to tackle the menace.

  30. Thanks Amit for understanding what women in India go through everyday. When our CM says that women (women just going for their jobs) should not be adventurous we cannot expect any support from the govt. You should write this in Hindi and print it as an ad in a daily. A blog entry reaches but only a small population of India. More pigs need to know that they will not be tolerated.

    • I read so many news articles in TOI today which are equally disgusting. Our ministers encourage segregation, they encourage women hidden in homes. It makes their work easy because then they have one less problem to tackle.

  31. Your feeling echoes the feelings of all those who are dumbstruck with the ghastly act of hooliganism.At least now the law makers should put their minds together to come out with most stringent punishment for such acts.

  32. Dear Author, When you talk about molesters, I do not know why you are talking about them going to Vaisho Devi. Why not Vellanganni church or a mosque or gurdwara? I hope your malice is unintended. Molesters have no religion. Why I do condemn molestation and I will attack a molester at my peril, I do not agree with your giving them religious colour. Regards. R Alavandar

    • My malice is purely intentional. Believe me, molesters do have religions and they follow it religiously. The molestation bid on my sister happened inside the Golden Temple. The person either worked there or was there to pay his respects. So, I am sure he was very religious.
      By adding religion to the topic, I wanted to underline the hypocrisy. Every religion teaches about respecting women.
      Also, do read my post carefully.
      //I know you frequently visit Vaishno Devi. I know your religious head bows down in front of a lot of female deities. I know you follow religions which teach to respect women.//
      I am talking about all the religions here and not targeting Hinduism.

      • Dear Amit, That is what I precisely wanted to point out. Do murderers have any religion? By saying, molesters do not have any religion, I mean, they can belong to any faith but they do not practice what the scriptures say. They are pseudo followers and their minds are wired to a mind set that “Its ok, as far as I am not caught”. Of late, our value system is so downgraded, that we do not attach any social stigma to criminality or corruption. Ministers dismissed on scams get stupendous welcome at airports. Kaap panjayats call the shots and politicians defend them so as not to offend the vote banks. By the way, even the media is not above board. Today, I read in papers that the media person, who was capturing the sordid episode in his camera, was also encouraging the molesters to repeat the act so that he can catch it better on camera. In our great nation, the legal process is very slow and the punishments are most often, slow to come by, not heavy enough do not deter other people in indulging in similar offense.
        Still, I take serious exception of your saying,, to quote you “I know you frequently visit Vaishno Devi. I know your religious head bows down in front of a lot of female deities. I know you follow religions which teach to respect women.” unquote. This is unwarranted and creates an unintended impression (or as you say intended malice??- according to you), that Hindus only indulge in this kind of unacceptable trait. I am not an orthodox Hindu, but the passage quoted from your text is offending and it is unfortunate that you are still not relenting. Regards.

        • R Alavandar,
          I again insist that you read the lines you have quoted carefully.
          //I know you follow religions which teach to respect women//
          I have intentionally used the word ‘religions’ here so as not to point out a single religion.
          //that Hindus only indulge in this kind of unacceptable trait.
          And where have I pointed this out? Have I said ‘Hindus’ anywhere in the post?

          I do not understand how the passage is offending. All I am pointing out is that even when the molesters follow religions which teach respect towards women, they still do not get it. I am not sure how this is offending? Yes, they are wired wrong and that is what I am trying to say. I am not blaming any religion to wire them like this. What unintended impression are you talking about?
          Just because there is ‘Vaishno Devi’ in the sentence does not mean it has to be twisted out of context.

          • Amit, It is adorable that you have taken this cause to call the molesters pigs.I admire that and I hope such valour comes out in the form of action in real life situations, when ever you face. I said that I will fight any such molesters to my peril (in such a situation). Also, I agree that you have not mentioned directly Hindus or Hinduism. However, in your way of expression you have mentioned Vaishodevi and worship of “female deities” while referring to molesters bowing in front of them. Is Vaishnodevi not a Hindu shrine? Goddesses (in your parlance female deities) – do they not imply you are talking about Hinduism or Hindus??. Why did you mention only Vaishno Devi??Why not mention the scenario of such molesters praying in mosques or churches or in front of Mother Mary or Saint Teresa or in Vellanganni church?? In your own admittance, the incident with your sister happened in Golden Temple. Then why not mention gurdwara instead of Vaishnodevi?? The connotation you have given in that part of your main blog assumes that the thugs are Hindus and is addressed towards Hindus. I thought it was an unintended slur, but it does not appear so, from your further defence. So, in future, please do not take Vaishnodevi or Hindu Goddesses in your blogs out of context as you had taken in your blog now, when you are talking of thugs paying prayers. And, for those reading these blogs, please be a tiger in life and not a paper tiger or a blog tiger. Even if 25% of the population raises against such atrocities instantly, when faced, this kind of stuff will stop. If we do not have back bones for that, we can keep writing blogs, calling names and suffer.Further, I leave it to the judgement of people who read your blog and I do not want to join issue any more.

            • I will try again. I will write it in bold this time so that you are able to read it. Maybe your eyes are slipping off the words.
              I again insist that you read the lines.
              //I know you follow religions which teach to respect women//
              I have intentionally used the word ‘religions’ here so as not to point out a single religion.

              I hope you are able to get it this time. I mentioned all the religions so you really do not have to feel bad about Hinduism or Vaishno Devi and defend their sanctity.
              I am sure if I would have mentioned Mother Mary instead of Vaishno Devi, you would not have raised a voice to defend her.

              //The connotation you have given in that part of your main blog assumes that the thugs are Hindus and is addressed towards Hindus//
              I am sorry but a person who says this is someone who either cannot read full posts or has a problem with basic understanding of English. You have to read the full paragraph and not the first two lines.

              And please do not dictate terms of what I can write on my blog. If you do not like it, you are welcome to stay away from it. And I took Vaishno Devi out of context? Ha! Please do not throw my own sentences on me. Let me tell you that you are the kind of Hindu who takes offence in every thing written about their religion and twist it to fit in your theories. All you can see is Vaishno Devi written in a letter to molesters and your mind cannot see beyond that.

              Please do not comment on readers of my blog. How do you know that they are not tigers in real life? What do you know about them? Please do not try this again.

              • Dear Mr Amit,
                My reply:-
                1. “I am sure if I would have mentioned Mother Mary instead of Vaishno Devi, you would not have raised a voice to defend her. “- Please do not be so sure. I would have commented then also. As I wrote already, I am not an orthodox Hindu. But I was feeling offended by the way you were very offhandedly writing about Vaishnodevi and Godesses
                2. “I know you follow religions which teach to respect women” – You have devoted a complete sentence or sentences about Vaishno Devi, bowing in front of deities, implying Hindusm and then you want to take cover under a single plural word you you used “religions”. is it not hypocrisy?
                3. “And please do not dictate terms of what I can write on my blog. If you do not like it, you are welcome to stay away from it. And I took Vaishno Devi out of context? Ha! Please do not throw my own sentences on me” – As far as your blogs are in a public domain, I have the right to logically put up my view points and argue. Throwing your own sentence at you , if you are feeling hurt, so I was.
                4. “Please do not comment on readers of my blog. How do you know that they are not tigers in real life? What do you know about them? Please do not try this again” .You are talking your readers could be tigers. I agree for sure that many will be. What about you? ARE YOU A TIGER? or A BYSTANDER, AND A BLOG TIGER? I can say about me, that I will raise to the occasion. You talk about your readers. What about you? If my sister was misbehaved with, I would have searched for the fellows, made a hue and cry and given a good fight. It happened with me once many years back and I fought with not one, but four guys exchanging blows. I received many, but gave them also a run for their money. And they left.
                5. When you are answering accolades please take some criticism also constructively. Not doing so is a sign of immaturity on your part.
                6. When such criticisms are offered, it is better to leave to others to judge, whereas, you, in my opinion, lack the grace to do so..
                Again, I remind you, if your blogs are in the public domain and about public cause, I have the right to comment and offer my view.
                R Alavandar

                • //You have devoted a complete sentence or sentences about Vaishno Devi, bowing in front of deities, implying Hindusm and then you want to take cover under a single plural word you you used “religions”//
                  Ah! I get it now. Basically I should have mentioned all the religions in the world. That would have made you happy. How dare I mention Vaishno Devi and then accumulated all the religions in a plural! That was so anti-Hindu.
                  I do not think you are logically putting anything. All I can see is twisting things out of context.

                  Regarding readers being tigers, since there was nothing for you to say there after my previous reply, you thought of attacking me personally. That was expected. I am not tackling people like you for the first time on this blog. And you have very pompously given an example of your courage too. Wow! Such greatness! I bow to the only real tiger amongst us fake paper tigers.

                  There is a difference between criticism and twisted logic. And why should I leave it to others to judge? You are critisising me, right? Why should others judge it?

                  Ok. Here is the deal. I do not understand you and you do not understand me so stop commenting on my blog. You will not be able to push your twisted logic down my throat. Sorry, that won’t happen. You have already exerted your right to comment to its limit.

                • Please shut up and stop your convoluted replies to me. I am not attacking you. I just asked a question whether you can stand up to a situation, but you are saying, your readers will do it. In our society, many atrocities happen just because we look the other way, like you said, “If you do not like my blog, just do not read it”. If everyone thinks that way no one will question any thing.

                • Did you not call me immature in one of your comments? 🙂 If this is a mature reply, I am happy being immature.
                  I was actually waiting for abusive language. You see, people like you who cannot get their stupid, twisted arguments across turn abusive pretty soon. So, no surprises there.
                  I have blocked you. Any further comments from you will be deleted.
                  And oh yes, you are no one to question me on my bravery. I could have written that I fought ten tigers single handedly in Gir when they attacked our Safari van. Who could have proved that I was lying?

  33. Can’t say a word. There is no place which is safe or where there is no chance of molestation. To date, I don’t understand what sadistic pleasure these a…….s get for those few seconds. They should be ripped off and spit on their faces. It’s not their upbringing, no mom or dad would tell their kid to go and molest…their souls are such.

  34. Your post reminds me of my 7 year old son who told me the other day about how he liked that I was angry at the bad man who tried to pass comment at me.

    Kids do observe .Its nice to know that men who care for women exist.Thanks a lot. People like u give us hope…

  35. My bf frequently told me to ‘tell him’ if anyone bothered me when we were out together. I never did- because how can you begin to register each stare , each tch tch, each ‘attempt’?! Especially since as an Indian girl, you’ve been there, done that, defended yourself since you were a kid.
    It’s comforting to read your words though. As long as our guys are there for us emotionally, we girls can handle it head on physically. Years of practice.

    • Yes, exactly. It happens so many times that you start considering it a part of your life.
      It’s great to hear your thoughts. Yes, there are loads of guys like me out there who are emotionally there for the women in their life. There are lot of us who understand.

  36. Pingback: Stop watching the video…

  37. I know I am late…but you sure gave me goosebumps…I hope to have five stones in my hands to hit the pigs if they ever misbehave..just the other day, I was wondering if my prayers for having a daughter was a good idea at all..I fear for her..and yes she is only four..yet I fear for her!

  38. I love all your posts Amit and this one is just too good. I hope it reaches as many people as possible.
    So that women know that they don’t have to be afraid and they do have support to stand up against the pigs.
    These pigs will fear doing such horrendous things to women only when they fight back

    and women grow nails and be strong. Women need to stop being afraid of these pigs, and the definition of pigs doesn’t apply to those who do these horrible things even people who sit back and pervertedly enjoy it aslo belong to the same catergory. I hope the mindset of “she asked for it” changes too….

    • Thanks Babitha and welcome here. Yes, I hope so too.
      Yes – She asked for it – that has been playing in my mind from sometime now. I really have to understand what that means.
      Thanks for your comment.

      • some people think that women provocate men by dressing in a certain way. do they forget the fact that women clad in burkha are also not spared!!

        BTW all ur posts are really good. My friends and i read and share them among ourselves. Keep up the good work.

        Looking forward to more posts 🙂

        • It has been proved in a study that rapists hardly remember what their victims were wearing. So it is not about dressing but control.
          Thanks Babitha. 🙂 I am glad that you like my posts.

  39. If this post does not move a person, he/she is a stone. And I am sure some ‘pigs’ must have read this and hung their heads low. If there was a way all the pigs could..

  40. Brilliantly written. The girls in India are taught to be vulnerable and most often you are advised to look down avoid looking at people’s eyes when they stare at you as if you are the culprit! Most girls do not say about these things at home for the fear that they wouldn’t be let out to go out on their own.

    The audacity of these people baffles me!

    • Thanks Metherebel.
      Yes, that is the first thought which has to be changed. If you do not teach someone to be vulnerable, that person won’t be.

  41. I’m glad we all are voicing our opinions. It’s a good start. But where do we go from here? Will someone hear us? Will they be scared? Congress is doomed anyway. The opposition is already high on this. The saviors of law and order will give it a cold shoulder like always. The law breakers will pay bribes and the case will run till eternity.

    I’m not a pessimist. But law and order in the country seriously needs a revamp to make us feel better. Such sorry state of affairs, feel so helpless.

    • Nisha,
      The initial anger on any issue definitely reaches the authorities which prompt them into action. What happens after the initial euphoria dies is what has to be made better. Fast track courts can be an effective tool here but unfortunately no one bothers to set fast track courts for such ‘small’ issues. It is a helpless situation.

  42. I am an independent woman living on my own in a big city. I have had to face a fair share of such atrocities all my life.
    I would like to list down some of the harrasment I have faced.
    Where should I begin, perhaps from school.. where classmates would try to break-in to the rooms in the hostel during the night. And they have any compunction in facing you the next day in school.
    In college, standing at the bus stop was always followed by cars blowing the horn to the tune of “what’s your rate?” , or going back and forth or blinking the headlight. On the bus, someone was always trying to rub themselves against you.
    Used condoms being thrown in the balcony, sometimes burning cigarette while you are standing and waiting for a friend…there was no limits to which these depraved pigs wouldn’t stoop. And passing comments and whistling instances are too many to even list down.

    I have borrowed the following idea from Wallflower:
    We should start a Blog of Shame, A Page of Shame on Facebook, a handle on Twitter and post images and details of all such pigs.
    They should be so publicly humiliated, that their own family will not acknowledge them, they won’t get a job, they will never have a decent life in future.

    Beacuse I don’t have much faith left in our police and judiciary. These offenders will be out on paltry bails, the cases will go on for ages and even when the verdict will come out, the punishment will be insignificant compared to the magnitude of the offence.

    • Preeti,
      First of all I am really sorry to hear what you have gone through. I can’t imagine the trauma of it all and the fact that it is so common makes it even worse.
      I am all in for this idea of a Wall of Shame. Let me work on it and come back.

      • @Preeti: Really disturbing to hear about your story. I am sure there ll be many girls who might have faced worst.
        @Amit, @Preeti: I am also in for the idea of Wall of Shame. Lets work on it. Lets create a campaign. Even I don`t have faith in the judiciary & police.
        Lets make things happen. For betterment of India.

  43. A stone in Hand… this has to be slogan for the movement. A very heart warming blog for support. This is how my Dad must feel and I am glad i read it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  44. My heart goes out to you Amit. Quite an emotional writing I must say. Well, I say a stone is not enough of these pigs. A brick, a heated iron rod & such are things are required. Molestation & rapes are increasing day by day. The Govt. must do something. Or else we all citizens should get together & make things happen.. Its high time. Forget corruption and other issues. We need ensure protection to women of this country first. This is 21st century & India is this way. Pathetic.

  45. i am touched by this article…
    many times ladies know who these people are but still hide it coz she is aware that one or the other day….everyone’s eye wil be on her….that is the reason many don’t comein front even….

    .lets bring these pigs faces in front ladies….to make out future “pigs free”….lets make fear in these pigs mind…….once….

  46. I sincerely want to thank you for writing this article. This is every girl’s plight in our country.

    What is the frequency of such petty molestation incidents in a normal girl’s life? Once a day, twice a day and some time more than twice a day.

    After going thru such incidents throughout the day, it is difficult to sleep at night some times. Atleast for me. I can only imagine what the girl might have gone thru then and what the girl might go thru for the rest of her life.

    I have lost faith in humanity, only people like you are a ray of hope that atleast somewhere something is right. Atleast some people have their hearts and minds in the right place.

    Thank you once again!

    • Thanks for all your kind words. Believe me, there are many people out there who understand and are equally anguished at what women go through in this country.
      I hope such incidents stop soon.

  47. This brings back memories of my time in Pakistan. When I stood up for myself and gave the guy a mouthful I was told off by family members for drawing attention to myself. Somehow we are our own worst enemies.

    Totally relate to this… Perverts!

    • My sister is also like this. She too shouts back and then mom is always telling her off to be ‘lady like’. 🙂 She hardly listens. Sometimes, you really have to get up and give it to the perverts.

    • Today, I read in the newspaper that a new law is to be introduced which will raise the punishment to life imprisonment and make the existing law gender neutral. I hope the law is passed soon. Although I do not understand the logic of increasing the age limit of having sex to 18 but it seems that is another fight.

  48. My heart and head hurt, cannot bring myself to even contemplate watching that video. So much rage and anger, and yes a stone in my hand.

    • I haven’t watched it too. I cannot bring myself to see it. I know I will not sleep for a week. I am so angry just reading about it that I will go and kill someone if I see the footage.

  49. The seething audacity, the anger and the attitude with which you have written are exactly what is needed. I loved your post. I read a previous comment on quoting Vaishno Devi temple and I completely agree with your viewpoint. I believe what you wished to quote was the “glorification” of women as godessess in temples and later humiliating, molesting the same species. It makes no difference when you quote as a Mother Mary or anyone else.

    I wrote a post about the incident; no about anger.

    • Thanks Arch.
      Yes and I knew that some people will jump on me for mentioning Vaishno Devi and that is why I mentioned other religions as well but it seems that was not enough. 🙂

  50. Here is an incident…
    Few days back, while I was talking to a friend(girl) in other city on phone, she suddenly started screaming like hell… I was listening at this end helpless 1200km away from her and had no idea what to do….it turned out that some guy tried to take advantage of her on nearly deserted road…. he came out of nowhere and forcefully pinned her down… totally overpowered her… Luckily her screams were heard and people rescued her before anything more extreme happened… I was frantically trying to call her brother who did not pick up the call at that time… Thank go she was rescued…

    I had not slept for days after that incident. I can still hear her screams in my head.

    Worse thing is she could not even tell to people who rescued her that he was trying to take advantage of her. Not even to police. The women who rescued her changed the story when people started gathering. They advised her to keep it that way…. I was shocked at why she let that pig get off without true charge but it turned out to be the right thing afterwards. Because people in her neighbourhood kept coming to her home asking about the incident (which they thought was a mugging). If the truth had been told, story would have been altered ,chewed on, gossiped and finally made into something bad. In the end it would ended up her being blamed for it, called names, targeted/alienated etc…

    That is why now I always scared for every person I love. For my friends, my sisters, for almost every woman I know…. When I heard of the Guwahati incident, I felt like going there and beating up each one of them one by one… I still feel like ripping apart the guy who made my friend helplessly scream like that…. with my bare hands.

    Amit, what has our country come to? 😦

    (sorry for posting this here, I hadn’t really talked about this to anyone and after reading your post it felt like I had to get it out)..

    • That was a terrible incidence. Somehow, I feel that not reporting that Pig was not a right move. He is now free to go ahead and do this to anyone he like because now he knows that nothing will happen to him.
      This is the mindset we need to change. Every abuse should be reported.

      • I feel the same, I even asked her to tell her dad to go to police the next day and let them know about the reality of incident. She is not afraid of anyone and wanted to report it also. But her family’s point was simple, reporting a failed assault publicly will simply start rumours and will end up getting family defamed. Believe me, this happens when you live in suburbs of South Indian cities (happens everywhere I guess). Her parents are about to start to look up a groom for her (I have no idea how to say ‘ladke dekhna chalu kar rahe hai’ in English properly) and this will simply scare most of prospective middle class families off. You would know how things work if you have done this arrange marriage stuff for yourself or someone else.

        • I guess if the middle class family who comes to see her does not understand the fact that she was molested and lodged a complaint, then she should not be married in that house. If I were that girl, I would rather have my dignity maintained instead of being married off in a family who does not understand my situation. Anyways, it will take sometime to change our mindset.

          • You know what, yesterday while writing above comment, I had actually written that ‘then she should not consider that family worthy’ is not the answer. You cannot write off someone who have always heard a twisted tale of some incident from outsiders and have no way of confirming the truth. I would really not blame some family living in a narrow minded society like ours if they decide to stay clear of someone who has got a whole suburb gossiping about her (hypothetically). In short, I don’t like blaming people for being afraid of society’s reaction because they got their own daughters too.

            You see, the family who comes for her would have no idea what happened. If they try to find it out somehow, they will most probably only hear the twisted version of it. Its a sensitive matter.. and I guess discussing it hypothetically will not get us to any conclusion.

            As you said, society needs to become more supportive of victims of such incidents, change their mindset. Then only people will stop being afraid of associating with any victims.

            I hope you get what I am trying to say. I have lived in extreme rural areas as well as urban areas like Pune, Mumbai. I have see ridiculously narrow minded people to good open minded people. There is a type of people which falls between these two extremes, i.e. people who are just learning to be open minded but they still have burden of rest of narrow minded community. So the usual arguments of open-minded’ness don’t really apply to them.

            Ahhh enough.. I will leave this topic with a note: just because a family is afraid of associating with a victim of bad incident because of social pressure does not make them bad people. Not everyone is strong enough to stand up to evil.

            And I guess I might have misunderstood her reasons also. I will *may be* ask her when things are more settled down.

    • It is a scarring experience no doubt and bringing those goons to justice would certainly start her healing process.
      However, our society would much rather brush these under the rug and go to the Saraswathy temple rather than being them to justice.
      Ours is a land where stealing chappals from a temple step cause more stir than a molestation case.
      Families in the cities are changing. They are but a drop in the ocean. People writing about it, and supporting us… that right there is hope. Maybe there still is hope, for all of us…

  51. Some people seem to take offence at the mention of certain deities who are popular in Indian Culture.
    Not only in Hindu culture, they are popular in Indian culture as a whole. That’s why even though I’m a catholic, I kiss my books if I drop them or kick them with my leg, make rangolis, wear Sindoor…
    It’s more about Indian culture rather than Hindu culture.
    I am sure that there are people who go to Churches, Temples, Mosques, Pagodas and no where at all… there are molestors in each religion. They pray to Mother Mary and any other venerable woman. And in this I stand by you in view of the point you were trying to make. There will always be people looking to turn coffee conversation to crusades. Your message was un-mistakenly clear Amit.
    We readers stand by what you said because we read the whole post.

  52. Pingback: Open letter to all the molesters and rapists -

  53. Came to your blog through ‘thegalnextdoor’. Reading this post conjured up so many images and incidents that had happened to me and my friends over these years. I wish things change in our country, I really do. Meanwhile, I am glad to know that there are people like you who understand what women in our country go through.

    • Welcome here girlinjammies. 🙂
      I can understand. It took me some courage to write about personal incidents which were disturbing me from so many years. I believe change is happening. We are more vocal now which is a positive.

  54. Pingback: The Utopian Indian Society | Bhavia's Blog

  55. I agree Amit. The day will come when people simply start taking law into their hands and start pelting them with stones or knifing them. It will happen. Because now there’s no faith in the law and order for protection. Its each woman for herself. The dam will break. But I have a feeling its going to get much worse before that. 😦

    • It has started. The very next day, a mob killed three men in a village. I don’t know if you read that news.
      Things won’t change with this one rape. 10 days after it, we already have 4 raped women who are dead.

    • Prashant,
      We also have to change the mindset of our families and people around us. We have to teach our children to respect women and treat them as equal.

  56. I’m boiling with rage actually! When I used to travel by public transport in India, I used to carry an opened safety pin everytime I would board a crowded bus. Now I think, I didn’t stab enough hands that strayed!

  57. Pingback: Acceptance Speech of Sorts and Award nominations | Soulsez…

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