Its time I answer some questions

I have been mercilessly tagged and awarded in the last one year. Ok. I was awarded only twice and tagged twice but I like to think that it was merciless. Feels good. And its my bloody blog so I will define what merciless means here.

I ignored the tags and awards for a long time but I had a dream last night in which a Tag and an Award took human forms and tried to strangulate me. They were crying while doing so and thus awoke my conscience. I promised them that I will honor them and hence this post.

I will try not to bore you with my answers.

U.S. Pandey who blogs at One Grain Amongst The Storm gave me the Liebster Award and here are the Q & As –

Top 4 authors, or photographers, you love

Charles Dickens (The first novel I read was an abridged version of Oliver Twist that I won in a debate competition in class 6. I don’t think there is any novel by dear CD that I haven’t read)

Arthur Conan Doyle (Ah! They don’t make them like him anymore. The Hound of Baskervilles and The Sign of Four are my all time favorites)

Orhan Pamuk (There is something very grounded in the way he writes his incredible stories)

J.M Coetzee (The most gifted writers of our times. Read Life & Times of Michael K and Disgrace and you will know what I mean)

Top 4 Movies

Ok. That is a crazy question. Anyways, my top 4 movies are – Spirited Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Shawshank Redemption, Amélie

Top 4 singers/albums

Kishore Kumar (For the sheer variety), Shreya Ghoshal (For the divine voice), Asha Bhosle (For those seductive punches), Mohammed Rafi (For melting my heart again and again)

What would you do if you were to be stopped from writing?

I will start painting.

Are you in favour of banning books?

God No! Adults write them and adults read them.

Are you in favour of capital punishment?

If we are absolutely sure that the person committed the crime, then Yes. If there is a 0.5% chance of his/her innocence, then No. You can’t bring back the dead.

Are you in favour of veils for women, as in hijab?

I am in favor of  religion not telling anyone what to wear.

Which is the best translated work (or works) you’ve read?

Night train to Lisbon by Pascal Mercier

Moments you cherish.

My time spent in Manchester. It was the first time I realized that humans are capable of not littering the roads and piss on the walls and not honk and….I can go on and on.

Moments you’d rather forget.

One day I will gather the courage to write a blog post about it.

Is blogging for everyone?

No. Sustaining your creative streak is never easy.

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Tushar who blogs at My Life, My World gave me the same award as USP and here are the Q&As –

1. Why did you start blogging?

I was bored.

2. You are getting an all expenses paid trip for two to a place of your choice? Where will it be and with whom?

I need mountains around and loads of snow. Place doesn’t matter.

3. Dog or cat? And why?

Errr…none actually. I am not an animal person really. I like them though.

4. Half a million dollars for slogging for 6 months year or a week’s peace on the beaches of Bahamas?

Why is that even a question? 🙂

5. What is your deepest fear?

That one fine day, I will wake up to realize that I cannot get up from bed without anyone’s help. One day a nurse will take care of me while I lie on a bed.

6. How did you propose your girl/guy? Or how you plan to do so?

I am married and I didn’t propose. I just asked – So, what do you think? And she replied – Mm..Hm. And that was pretty much it.

7. One ‘Ctrl + Z’ moment of your life? Something you want to undo if you had a choice?

Loads of them. I have a fear that I will leave my zipper open one day. I will jump off a building if that happens.

8. Who is the most ‘marriage-able’ celebrity?

I don’t know. I don’t know any of them personally.

9. One thing that can take you to the ultimate heights of fame?

You mean people-trying-to-grope-me and tearing-off-my-clothes-in-public fame? I don’t want that.

10. Do you follow any sports, team, club or a person? Why this love started?

Hell no! I try not to follow anyone. I am not a stalker.

11. Did you like coming to this blog? And will you visit again?

Too personal! 😛

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Afshan who blogs at The Pensive tagged me a long time back. She gave me 25 questions. 25!!!! Afshan, I can’t answer your questions right now with honesty because I will be lying in most of them. I will pick your tag later when I can give truthful answers. Thank you for tagging me though.

I love this aura of suspense that I have created!

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Reema who blogs at My Random Thoughts tagged me in the Stone Age. Here are the Q&As –

1) Your most beautiful post.

Costa Chatter – Sita and Draupadi – I found this series satisfying mainly because I can go back and read it without cringing.

2) Your most popular post

My most popular post was I am with about 1,25,000 hits. God knows why!

3) Your most helpful post

They were How to shop with a lady and stay sane & Facebook photos uploading etiquettes

4) Your most controversial post

I won’t call it controversial per se but a lot of people did not like what I wrote here – Why SBI is the worst bank of India.

5) A post whose success surprised you

The Hitchhikers Guide To A Sane Life. I don’t know why it was so popular back then and why I wrote it.

6) A post that you thought did not get the attention it deserved

Traffic control gadgets for the ASIRW (Average Stupid Indian Road Warrior). I poured my heart and soul into it and came up with such innovative ideas and no one read them.

7) A post which you are most proud of

I liked the caption posts I did a long time back – Fear and Have you ever…

I would like to thank all those who read the post till the end and if you have scrolled down and this is the first line you are reading then you missed all the gossip from my personal life. Also, I am not tagging everyone because honestly I don’t think there is anyone left.

And for those who awarded me –

image from here.

The delusional Indian

Read the first two post in the series here –

The Horny Indian

The Sentimental Indian

Delusions are like silicon implanted breasts. The problem with artificially enlarging your non-existing asset is that even though the perfectness will make you feel good about yourself, everyone you meet will have one look at your breasts and would instantly know that you have been physically photoshopped. And add to it the constant realization that will hammer your conscience; that will whisper in your ears, reminding you that they are not real, that it is only a delusion to keep yourself thrilled.

Indians love to marinate themselves in multiple layers of delusions. It’s almost as if we are afraid of reality, as if we have to cover ourselves in a thousand drapes so that we are unable to breathe in the crudity around us. Here are a few glorious examples.

Parliament is supreme

This sentence came when a single, old man got up and said – Enough! It did not come when CWG or 2G scams happened. The parliament did not get up and flaunt its supremacy to punish the culprits and bring all the stolen money back. It did that by forcing the old man into a jail. What good is the delusion of supremacy when the spell does not work on the people you rule, when they look at you with disdain? The fact that the parliament has to remind people that it is supreme says a lot, doesn’t it?

Sita-ness of Women

The fact that the High Court judge was still in the delusion that this is Satyug was emphasised when he asked all married women to behave like Sita and all men to behave like Duryodhana. Ok, he didn’t say the last bit. Somehow I am sure that if Sita was doing a job and was earning more than Ram and was born in Kalyug and was asked to leave everything to follow him, she would have shown him the middle finger.

See that is the problem with delusions. You even forget what century it is.

All saintly, all white

All Politicians are Mother Teresa, doctors have ever broken the three oaths, KHAPS are there to help villagers in rainwater harvesting, lawyers never help the criminals to go scott free, police will froth at your plight and vow to avenge you. In India, every professional believes in the delusional purity of its community. It’s basically similar to denying your breast implants even when someone gets hold of a copy of the video of your implant operation. It’s morphed – you tell him. 

Rape culture in Kamasutra land

Anything western invites rape – A woman wearing jeans, a woman in a pub, a one year old sleeping peacefully in her bed, a ninety year old granny, a coma patient, a woman in Burkha. Although I am not sure what is western in the last four situations but I am sure our delusional and deranged rapists and their supporters can come up with a theory. Also, I am not sure wearing jeans and being in pub in the land of Kamasutra should invite rape. Don’t we have nude men and women depicted copulating on temple walls and caves in India? When we were decorating those caves with sexual positions, Western civilization was probably sucking its thumb and shitting in its diaper. Western civilization must be baffled by this ingenious idea of blaming them to cover up the holes in our own victim blaming culture.

Implants Indian shining

Somehow the shine is not reaching the common man, who it seems, is like a shoe polish. Our great nation uses this shoe polish to shine our country’s growth rate but in the end, the shoe polish is neglected, throw somewhere in a corner. Of course, we get to see those India Shining adverts where thrilled-to-bits white men visit our great nation and sit on elephants and run on garbage filled beaches, but then you have to create some delusions to make the shoe polish common man feel good about himself.

India is also shining in the Swiss Banks. Imagine 12,740 crores of black money raining on the Swiss prostitutes banks while more than one-third of the shoe polish population is below poverty line.

Gods loves gold

Shirdi Sai Baba was a fakir. Now imagine if he descends in one of his swanky temples and see himself sitting on a golden throne and wearing a  gold-plated crown, he will be too shocked to speak for a month. If we ever carry out a survey of the top ten acts of human stupidity in recent times, the delusion of burying our gods in gold for our better life will win hands down. In the act of appeasing God, we Indians delusively take him for a human. What better insult?

Bollywood – Making you dumb since 1912

Escapist cinema is another form of delusion. It turns Indians obtuse in the name of entertaining them. Such movies not only enthrall us, they also make money and make us dumb enough in the process to lap up incredibly crappy one-liners, buffoonery and naked long legs. But we deserve the breast implants movies we get. They represent a delusion we would like ourselves to be lost in, far away from the maddening realities of life. Its the least an shoe polish Indian can ask for.

Accidents happen only to others

The delusion that Gods will save them (as we pour so much money and gold on them) lead Indians to believe that nothing will happen to them. Despite the fact that 5 lakh road accidents happen in India every year and more than 1.25 lakh people are killed, the faith Indians show in their driving skills equals that of Spartans in their battle skills. Delusional Indians treat roads as battle grounds. The only thing missing is a few missile launchers.

Delusion is a drug which should be taken in very small doses so that the reality is always at the horizon. Indians, seem to have taken an overdose and are now disgustingly delirious in La La Land. Lets hope that the rabbit hole does not end in a dead end.

[images from 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]

Coal and Chilies

Religion comes naturally to my parents. For me it’s like an invisible sibling with whom I have a love-hate relationship. It’s amazing how the rituals and processes to appease Gods which you were very sure your parents were never aware of suddenly resurface during ceremonies. And then there is our family astrologer. I was so amused by his predictions that I sometimes prodded mom to take his advice just to see what he would come up with. He had surprised me time and again and mom had deep faith in him. There are two incidences which instantly surface in my mind. Till date I am not sure whether it was plain luck or the astrologer actually waved his magic wand.

Offering coal to rivers and feeling foolish

I had finished my Masters and had dropped for a year to study for IIT’s GATE exam. I failed that exam and was in a completely suicidal mode. There was darkness all around and no candle of hope was visible. My career was finished.

(Exaggeration alert)

It was then when my mom went to the astrologer with tears in her eyes, banging his door and asking for help.

He patiently saw my birth chart and did some quick calculations and conveniently conveyed to my mother that I was going through a very rough seven and a half years phase of my life called “Sade Sati”. My mom gasped, sucking in two tears by mistake which were racing down her cheeks.

“Don’t worry sister. The good news is that the seven and a half years are almost done. Only a few months left. But yes, there are ways to negate the remaining effects quickly,” the astrologer said.

Mom’s eyes sparkled with hope, her heart racing towards her mouth.

“Please! Please tell me how oh! great astrologer!” she said.

“Ask your son to go to a river for three Tuesdays and offer coal to the flowing water. Take around a kilo of coal every time. This bad phase will pass quickly.”

(de-exaggerating)

I laughed loudly when I heard of this. Mom threw ice spikes from her eyes which effectively closed my mouth. I could have said no and that would have been the end but then I wanted to do this mostly because it sounded fun. I didn’t really think of the implications.

So, there I was, standing at the banks of Hindon River dropping coal in it and feeling utterly foolish. It was bearable the first time. By the time I reached the count of three, I wanted to kill the astrologer.

I forgot about it as soon as it was done and went back to my life which was basically twirling my fingers everyday. Surprisingly, things started to iron out soon. I cleared my NET exam, cleared JNU Ph.D. written exam and interview (only ten students were selected from all over India) and was accepted for M.Tech in Kurukshetra University. Suddenly from nothing-to-look-forward-to, I had too much to handle.

Mom thought it was all due to the blessings of the astrologer. I had my doubts. Maybe things were meant to happen this way but how did that bloody astrologer used it to his advantage?

(6 years later)

Respect me!

Honoring Sun god with water mixed with chili seeds and feeling foolish again

I was in Chennai working for an IT firm. I was there from the last 2.5 years and desperately wanted to come back home to Delhi. My manager wanted me to go to USA for a project from Chennai. No matter how lucrative the offer looked, I was not very keen on it as it meant working in Chennai after I would have come back and I was longing to go back home (at least for a few months). I talked to mom and she had a brilliant idea.

(Exaggeration alert)

Mom was again back to the astrologer. She wanted her son back. She had determination in her eyes. She would find a way no matter what. Her will was steel.

“Sister, don’t worry! I have a very effective solution. Your son will be able to bend the will of Gods,” the astrologer chirruped.

“Is it true? Oh! Please do tell me greatest astrologer of all times!!”

(de-exaggerating)

“Ask him to buy a copper mug. Fill it with water and a few red chili seeds. Ask him to go to the balcony of his house for three days in the morning and raise the mug towards the sun with both hands and drop the water slowly on the ground. Ask him to ask the Sun god whatever he wishes to come true.”

The sheer amount of time I wasted to find a copper mug can fill an encyclopedia but I finally did the whole process out of curiosity. In my heart I wanted to prove him wrong but wanted my wishes to be granted as well. And so I made the following wish – “Dear Sun God! I don’t know why I am doing this but if you are listening, please send me home first and then onsite. I do not want it the other way round.”

Mysteriously, due to some reasons, my USA Visa developed a snag and I got a call from a project in Delhi. I got transferred here and eight months later I was off to Manchester.

Now whatever you may call it but the lucky bastard got lucky a second time. I still could not nail him. My mom’s faith trebled.

Looking back, everything I did was crazy but somehow it made mom happy and somehow it worked. I have realized that sometimes desperation makes you do funny stuff. Also, incidences like these spice up your past. You can look back and laugh, regale yourself, smile and scratch your head and be happy that thankfully your family is what it is – Weird.

p.s. And if you are wondering where my mom got the coal from, she asked the local Ironman (no, not from Avengers!! The one who uses a very very heavy iron filled with coal to press the clothes) to get it for her.

[images from 1,2,3]

This entry is a part of the contest at BlogAdda.com in association with imlee.com

What is the purpose of your life?

Last Sunday, as I was trotting towards the nearest bus stand with two of my friends as we hurried to catch up our show of  Transformers:Revenge of the fallen, we were halted in the middle of the road by three young chaps. They hailed from a Christian society and were very polite. One of them threw a question at us – “What is the purpose of your life?”

Now, imagine yourself in such a situation. You are all excited and ready to see the latest machine war flick and someone pops the “purpose of life” question in front of you. Its like asking a soldier to choose the menu for the dinner while he is busy dodging bullets in the enemy’s firing line.

“Right now, the purpose of my life is to reach IMAX on time.”, I said and smiled.

“Would you like to have a postcard from us which will entitle you to a dvd about Jesus Christ? Its for free.”

“Yes!”

I could not believe this. They were young kids who could be watching a movie or going on a date. Instead, they were stopping people in the middle of the road and asking them the purpose of life!?! I found those guys too spiritual, in the same way in which they would have found me too materialistic.

When Swami Dayanand saw the mouse trampling on the ShivaLingam, he was devastated. He could not understand that how can the Almighty Lord possibly allow a mere mouse to just walk over his statue and eat the offerings? Asked in another way, if God wants Earth to be the Garden on Eden, then why does he allow evil to breed? Yes, we have all heard about the balance between the Good and the Evil, but isn’t that too lame an excuse for God’s incompetency?

Sometimes I feel that we are obsessed with the unknown. Aliens, werewolves, mermaids, witches, vampires, yeti, fairies, dragons, heaven, hell. God. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that I don’t believe in God. I know there is a power which drives us. Its not all about probability, serendipity or theory of randomness. There is something more to it and I am sure that that shall never be revealed to us. That is our destiny. To understand God is to unscramble scrambled eggs.

What I hate is the Glorification, the Spiritualization of the rest of us by a selected few, the sanctification, the cleansing and the conversions. If someone has to come to me and ask me the purpose of my life then either that person is absolutely confused about the purpose of his own life OR my face gives an impression that I am completely purposeless and I am sure that the latter is not true. 🙂

If we have not realized this by now, Religion is a business in modern times. It always was, but now its booming. We have billions riding on it. When a temple can raise a donation of Rs 5 Crores(approximately 1,046, 684 $) in 7 hours, then the sky is the limit. The terrorism industry is an offspring of religion. The politicians use religion to get to the seat of power. We use it as a reason to rape women. We use it to forcibly marry off our children without their consent. Its a way to make instant money on the internet. And if you have no reason to hate your neighbour, religion can be a very tempting bait. And so where is God in all this? Well, maybe he is sitting in a corner and doing this :

I am sure I am born for a purpose but I am also sure that a priest or a spiritual Guru cannot reveal it to me. No one can. I am sure this is something which can’t be revealed. Maybe there is nothing to be revealed, but to understand. I am also sure that chanting a deity’s name or lying in the feet of the lord or donating crores for a yagya cannot be the purpose of my existence.

If you look at the chart of the Earth’s evolution at the top, humans have just appeared. Its amusing how we have pushed the Earth on the brink of collapse in such a short span of time. The rate at which we are going, we will end up being nothing more than a faint flash of existence on the vast timeline of the universe. We can either live for thousands of years in harmony or we can end up like the dinosaurs.

The existence of each generation of humans is a story with a moral at the end. It is us who will be writing the moral for the next generation. Its us who will be deciding whether the next generation will live a life better or worse than us. To give them a better life, all we have to do is to just live our lives without any hatred and everything else will fall into places. Just live.

Now how is that for a purpose?

When victim is the culprit

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality. – Bishop Desmond Tutu

So when my eyes fell upon this news article according to which girls in Kanpur have to adhere to certain ‘safety’ measures taken by the colleges to discourage sexual harassment, my first impulse was a bewildered laughter. And what are those ‘safety measures’? Well, its quite simple and basic actually. They can’t wear jeans in colleges anymore. One clean sweep and we have taken a giant stride towards freeing our country of rapists and molesters!

Run! Quick! Cover the girls!

It reminds me of an ostrich, digging a hole and burying his head as soon as he senses danger.

This isn’t something new. Women have always been accused of inviting rapes and harassment because they were wearing ‘provocative’ dresses(how jeans is provocative is something beyond me). And its not just women. Recently, Indians in Australia were told by the authorities that they invited the attacks because they carry laptops and mp3 players openly(this was something not even worth a bewildered laugh from me). And haven’t we blamed the poor for their conditions instead of the socio economic structure and how the rich suck their blood?  So, what is it with us? Why is a victim the culprit?

The Utopia

Since our birth, we are seasoned to look at the world with rose tinted glasses. Good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. God works in black and white, there are no greys. So, when a man is stabbed in a deserted lane, he is accused of inviting trouble by going there in the first place. He must have done something wrong for God to punish him with the lightening of his wrath. Death, rape, robbery, molestation does not happen to people who are good. Who remain in their limits.

Believe me, I know people who supported the recent beating up of girls in a pub in Mangalore. People are living in a fairy land created by God and they will go to any extend to maintain its sanctity. It does not matter to them that they are breaking the very laws which they have created to guard the sanctity. It does not matter to them that they are shielding the thief who stabbed the man.

Aha! A scapegoat!

Incompetency is a huge albatross to carry. Law enforcing agencies are full of incompetent people who are there just to collect money or with people who don’t have a clue about their responsibilities. And too bad if your vote bank is full of religious fanatics. Even if the government try to think about amending the age old laws which were made to curb the freedom of an individual, the fanatics will be at their throats talking about God’s will and the holy shit.

So, what happens when an illiterate housewife named Zafran Bibi goes to the police claiming that she was raped and was pregnant? She is accused of adultery and sentenced to death by stoning. For a rapist to be convicted, the crime has to be confirmed by four male eyewitnesses and the rapist must confess, they said.

Suffering and Happiness

We feel relieved and in control of our lives when we see someone suffer or when we spot a fresh scapegoat. Its a human trait. Nothing to be ashamed of. We feel more close to God.

‘Thank God, It was not me.’, we say. God has blessed me and I must be good. Relieved. Happy. Unscathed.

We forget the fact that the whole society rides on the same wave. There is nothing disjoint here. We all go up together and we all come crashing down together. Its like cancer. You can’t tell your hand that everything is all right when you have a brain tumor.

Good old Fate

Its funny how while explaining the action and its outcome for other people, we tend to emphasise on their psyche but when we find ourselves in that situation, then its all about the situation. Its threatening to our ego to accept our internal failures. Its safe to say that you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Oh God what did I do? and all that crap!

Well! You were riding the wave and it came crashing down!

When a team wins, its skills and hard work and happiness. When it loses, we burn effigies. Suddenly from being the victims of our over-pressurization, they are now the culprits.

In the End

And so you ask, ‘What about the innocent bystanders?’ But we are in a time of revolution. If you are a bystander, you are not innocent. – Abbie Hoffman

Maybe its easier to blame someone who is weak. Its less trouble. We live happily in Neverland till tragedy is at our doorsteps. We need some sort of a vicarious brain machine to wake us up. We need to live ‘those’ moments which pull you to reality and make you realize that a victim needs the whole helping hand instead of a finger pointing at him.

Maybe we need to realize that the girls in Kanpur need a free distribution of chili powder and Karate classes instead of a ban on wearing jeans.

Maybe we need to realize that stoning a woman to death will not stop the next rape.

Maybe we need to realize that every culprit was once a suppressed victim.

As if the Terrorists were not tormenting enough…

…we have Mamta Banerjee literally arm-twisting the Tata’s out of Singur by Violence and threatening the lives of the workers in the plant, without giving a second thought to the fact that this might be the last nail in the coffin of West Bengal’s progress.

…we have Ramalinga Raju who did not care a bit about the 53,000 employees and their families before commiting the biggest scam in the history of the Indian IT industry.

…we have NDTV and Barkha Dutt attempting to Talibanise the freedom of expression by threatning to sue a blogger who wrote about the negative role of media during the 26/11 attacks. The blogger had to finally withdraw his post and put up a forced apology on his blog. So, wait a minute…in India I can’t roam around with my girlfriend, I can’t go to pubs and malls

 and I can’t give my opinion on my own blog. I wonder if I am free to breathe? 

…we have the DDA scam where thousands of people put up their hard earned money for a chance to get their dream house and finally realized in horror that all of them were taken for a ride.

…we have Hindu extremists raping and burning nuns in Orissa. The condition was similar to what happened during the partition. Even after more than half a century of independence, we are still burning each other up. 

…our fellow citizens are killing 5,00,000 unborn girls each year in India due to gender selection because of which India has the lowest sex ratio in the world. An estimated 10 million unborn girls have been killed in the last 20 years. Its ok to worship a woman as a Goddess but its not ok to bring her to life. 

…we have Raj Thackeray sending his Sena of cheap goons to beat up all the North Indian candidates appearing in the all-India Railway Recruitment Board entrance exam. This was one of the thousands of atrocities which Raj has tormented us with. He is the one who is truely responsible for dividing the people of India further and shaming the whole country.

…we have pushed 300,000-500,000 children in prostitution in India. The red light district in Mumbai generates at least $400 million a year in revenue, with 100,000 prostitutes servicing men 365 days a year, averaging 6 customers a day, at $2 each, AND that’s just the statistics for Mumbai. There are approximately 10 million prostitutes in India. Is that a world record? 

…we have sharply pushed the Dowry deaths up ever since India opened up to foreign investment in 1990. The country has seen a rise in dowry-related violence alongside its economic boom. Dowry deaths surged from 400 a year in the mid-1980s to 5,800 a year in the mid-1990s, according to a 2001 report in Time magazine. So, the more prosperous we become, we end up being more prehistoric? Is that a world record too? 

…we have the Ram Sena, molesting and beating up girls in Mangalore because they were not following the Indian traditions and defaming it. The best part is that the goons were out on bail the very next day. The next thing you know,they might be throwing widows into the burning pyre of

 their husbands just because they may want to bring back the old Indian tradition of Sati which got lost due to the Britishers.

…we have a jaw dropping 678% increase in rape cases since 1971. According to the NCRB report, over 75% rapists were known to the victims. In fact, nearly 10% were relatives. Another disturbing aspect was that about a quarter of the rape victims were minors. And remember, this is just a data of those cases which were reported. Got the picture?

…we have the repeatedly successful attempts by the Indian government for not providing security to its citizens even when they are repeatedly alerted about the terrorist attacks way in advance. The “soft” government which waits for hunderds to die before yawning into some action. 

And Oh Yes!!! India will be able to send a man to moon by 2025. Seems quite insignificant. Doesn’t it???

Kalyug’s Ram Sena

Ramayana depicts Ram Sena as an army of monkeys who helped Sri Ram to build a bridge to Sri Lanka and saved Sita from the clutches of Ravan. In Kalyug, Ram Sena means a bunch of illiterate, unemployed and brainwashed monkeys who beat up and molest girls just because, according to them, the girls are not in sync with the “Indian” culture. Well, how times change! 

So, according to the Taliban-inspired-Ram-Sena, women in India are supposed to maintain a certain amount of decorum. But then, if that is the case, all of us should completely abide to the norms set by our culture. If they are forcing girls and boys to disown the “pub” and “mall” culture, then they should make sure that the following are followed too:

• Girls should only wear saree or salwaar-kameez. All the girls wearing jeans, skirts or pants should be beaten up. 
• Boys should only wear Kurta or other regional dresses. Jeans and other western dresses should not be allowed.
• Girls should not work and sit at home and learn the various household activities. 
• Love marriages should not be allowed. Only parents should have the right to choose the spouse for their kids.
• All the pubs in the country should be closed down.
• All the shops selling foreign attires and goods should be closed or burned down.
• All the malls should be closed down.
• All the couples roaming around in public areas should be harassed and beaten up.
• Girls should not move out of their homes alone. They should always be accompanied by an elder male member.

I am sure, the brainwashed Sena will be jumping with excitement to implement all the above mentioned points. Although, there are a few questions I would love to ask them:

1. How many of the Ram Sainiks don’t drink liquor themselves? Is it only girls who are not supposed to drink? Its ok if guys drink and indulge in all kind of inappropriate activities?
2. How many of the Ram Sainiks have not molested girls or eve-teased them? After what we all saw on television, it can be easily concluded that they were quite dexterous and I won’t be surprised if they would have practiced using Mannequins.
3. How many of the Ram Sainiks have beaten up a gang of boys eveteasing a girl, or a man beating up his wife, or a police officer taking a bribe? Of course, they won’t do all these measly tasks when they have more interesting tasks like beating up girls.
4. How many of the Ram Sainiks don’t have girlfriends and don’t roam around with girls? Are all of them Hanuman Bhakts and have taken an oath of staying unmarried for their entire life? I think “Perverts” and “Hypocrites” will be small words for them.
5. Do the Ram Sainiks realise that this is a Democracy and people who visit pubs are above 18 years of age and all capable of understanding the Indian Culture by themselves? When something has to be banned, it is the government which will decide that and not a bunch of uneducated, rustic and directionless men who are a part of an organization which is used by politicians during elections for various illegal activities.
6. Do the Ram Sainiks realize that there is a difference between India and Afganistan and they are turning the former into the latter? Should I be glad that they didn’t stone the girls to death instead of beating them up?

India is full of such Hypocrite people who can be mislead and do anything for money. What happened in Mangalore was a shameful act which just goes to show what a bunch of illiterate people we are. And, then we go ahead and belittle movies like Slumdog Millionare which show the reality to the world. If you can’t digest that, then too bad!!

I was going through a few articles on the internet about what happened in Mangalore, and here are a few gems :

• “We acted like brothers. There is no need to apologize for an act done with good intention.” – Prasad Attavar, state convener, Sri Rama Sena. [[Oh!! That is how brothers behave! Slap, shove and punch sisters?? Guess, I have to revisit my basics.]]
• “Drinking by women is not Indian culture. It’ll morally degrade our society. Women are our mothers and they should behave like that” – Prasad Attavar, state convener, Sri Rama Sena. Full story here. [[What about drinking by men?? Care to comment on that sir?? And that is how we treat our mothers??]]
• ” Women have to be protected as the law has failed. Parents are worried about their wards going astray in materialistic pursuits. We are the custodians of Indian culture” – Sri Ram Sena (SRS) founder Pramod Mutalik. Full story here. [[Which law has failed if a woman is drinking in a pub?? Do we have laws for that too??]]
• “There is no need to raise such a hue and cry about the incident.” – Sri Ram Sena (SRS) founder Pramod Mutalik. [[Yes! No one was raped or killed. Everyone is alive.]]
• “The Karnataka government will not allow pub culture to grow in the state. “ – Karnataka Chief Minister BS Yeddyurappa. Full story here. [[And what about the culture where men beat up women? Care to stop that?]]

I am disgusted, ashamed and sick by the mere thought that I am breathing the same air as these people. I am sorry to call such people my countrymen. I am sorry to be a part of a nation where people take pride in killing their daughters if they fall in love with a guy outside their community, where people rape nuns and where people beat up a girl because she is sitting in a pub. Of course, you can argue that we are better off than Afganistan. But, don’t worry. We are getting there.

Here is a video of the brotherly love. The images might be disturbing.

Can I live please?

I went to Barakhamba Road yesterday. I was standing at the exact place where the bomb blast happened last year. I moved my right ankle in a semi circle to displace the dirt on the road. Maybe I was trying to see if it was still red? I went there to meet my very old friends whom I was meeting after a gap of 7 years.  While standing there I realized how fragile my own life was. I have a lovely family, adorable friends, a good job and some dreams, but someone can press a button and everything will vanish in a second. I just have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Moving around in Connaught Place yesterday gave me this creepy feeling. I loved that place! I have some beautiful memories of C.P. but now there is always this fear that its not a safe place. The old warm feeling has died. Its gone.

Whom should I blame? Whom should I blame for embedding this fear in my heart? The fear that I might have to see a mingled, limbless, burnt body of a family member one day? The fear that I, who just want to lead his normal life and live happily ever after with his family and friends, might be blown apart the very next second?

Should I blame the Indian Government? Indians have a “Get used to it” attitude towards everything. Someone is littering on the road. Get used to it! Spitting? Get used to it! Corrupt policemen? Get used to it! BOMB BLASTS? Get used to it! Ofcourse, the Government officials also suffer from the same disease. It took thousands of people flocking the roads of Mumbai and carrying derogatory posters to wake up the government and to make them realise that there is a difference between butchering humans and butchering goats, to make them realise that they were chosen to protect us, to make them realise that “Get used to it” is not going to work this time. We, the citizens of India, choose politicians and give them bullet proof vehicles and 50 black cat commandos each from our hard earned money, not because they can feel safe and forget about the common man who is as vulnerable as he always was. Thinking and mulling over something is good but there comes a point when action is required. How long did the Pakistan Government took to sack its National Security adviser after he confirmed that the lone surviving terrorist is Pakistani? And how long did the Indian Government took to decide “something” about what Mr. A.R. Antulay said? The difference is stark and naked, and THAT is the problem with us. Having a pessimistic and defensive approach does not work when your neighbouring countries are a breeding ground for terrorists. War can never be an option, but can the  government at least come strong on our own security agencies and the police force? 

Or should I blame the Pakistani PM? He is trying every trick to make the world believe that its an internal problem of India. Infact, after his latest statement today, which says that – Why is the world more concerned about the Mumbai attacks than the killings in Palestine? ‘‘We have to see that the world does not have double standards. See how many innocent women and children have been killed in Palestine. Why is nobody talking about that? Why is the world silent on that?’’, I have decided not to follow the buffoonery anymore. Its tormenting. I think its high time that the Pakistani PM stops using the forced and mindboggling euphemisms and tell India to go to hell. That would be at least honest, if nothing else! Whether it may be Mumbai or Palestine, you would be glad to know Mr. PM, that it is me, the common man, who is dying.

I don’t care about the political mud slinging matches which Indian and Pakistani politicians are indulging in right now. I don’t care about and I am not a part of the various religious groups which are fighting their mindless and stoical wars by killing innocent people like me all over the world.

I just want to live happily. I want to love the city I live in. I wan’t to roam fearlessly in C.P. I want to believe that I will live to see my dreams fulfilled and will not be shot through my head while celebrating a friend’s birthday in a hotel or when I am at a railway station to receive a family member. Am I asking for too much? Is it too hard to achieve this? Is it too hard to stop fighting over pieces of lands, stop turning terrorism into a profession, stop waging wars in the name of religion?

Or is everything too complicated now to move it backwards? 

Mumbai Attacks : The week that was

It has been a week now since the ruthless attacks. Public anger has never been so omnipresent and neither have our politicians come under such a heavy scrutiny(no wonder they have been royally goofing up and giving tactless statements which is doing nothing less than fuelling the fire). Targeting foreign nationals in the attacks was one foolish move by the terrorists because the whole world is now upon them like red ants. Statements which included words like “Stateless actors” which intended on shrugging off the responsibilities were not bought by anyone and laughed at. Incidences like a movie director taking a walk in the burnt down Taj were blown out of proportion by the media while the public gulped the news in disbelief(Sometimes the media do comes handy).

THE GREAT INDIAN FUMBLE

It had been a week of revelations. A coup de theatre beyond an equal. Two days into the ghastly event and three statements made by our politicians were elemental in converting the tide into a tsunami. 
R.R Patil made a juvenile statement about the incident being a “small one” and dug the grave of his political career. 
BJP Vice President Abbas Naqvi puddled in troubled waters when he made the “women wearing powder and lipstick and burning candles” remark. The audacity of it was that he himself was wearing a coat while he defamed the Indians for aping the west and its an entirely different story that he was asked to comment on something else.  
The icing on the cake came from Kerela’s CM V.S. Achuthanandan who ended up making a statement which could be considered the worst insult someone can inflict on a martyr’s family. Of course, a lot of pressure went into making him apologize but the harm was already done. Sample this:

On the other hand, the attacks opened up the Pandora’s box and everyone from the Intelligence Agencies to the Maharashtra Government and the Center turned a beetroot red. Our PM mumbled a few inaudible statements about setting up a federal spy agency and creating four NSG hubs while the nation came in terms with the fact that the Navy and the Coast Guard ignored the intercept from RAW that these attacks were expected, that the intelligence agencies had informed a year ago that such an attack was in the pipeline and that the U.S. informed India twice about the upcoming sea attack on Mumbai. The Government gave a jaw dropping performance making the citizens realize that their lives really don’t matter. The word politician ended up becoming a swear word and the nation realized that human life was the cheapest commodity in our country.
The way the whole operation was handled also came under the scanner. A minister taking 90 minutes to respond to such a critical situation, the NSG commandos transported from airport in BEST buses and shoved in the 1500 room Taj without any night vision equipment knowing very well that there was no electricity in the hotel and policemen wearing outdated bullet proof jackets was something which the common man was not ready to watch on live television. The crudity of it all was hard hitting.

THE REACTIONS

Israel offered help but India denied it without a second thought. Pakistan Government and media were busy vehemently denying any connection with the attacks. It was not surprising that Pakistan rejected the list sent by India stating that they wanted more proofs. I am sure that even if we dance in front of them with proof in our hands, they will even go to the extend of putting hot rods in their eyes to ignore us. The main accused of the 1993 blasts is still to be handed to us, even after ample proof of his involvement and whereabouts in his plush bungalow in Pakistan, so we can expect some action on this recent event in another 20 years. Ofcourse, there were some sane people who understood the gravity of the situation. You can read three very balanced articles by eminent Pakistani columnists here.

Although people have been dying left right and center in India since ages, the whole world suddenly woke up to the fact because this time the target were foreign nationals too. Atleast 26 of them lost their lives and although Delhi, Jaipur and Ahmadabad had gone through such similar attacks this year, the repercussion which the Mumbai attacks created were something else. Its good in many ways because this time, the “Rice” boiled with a lot of pressure over Pakistan. Lets just hope that the pressure mounts instead of subsiding.

WE THE PEOPLE

I don’t think India has seen such massive reaction from the citizens since a long time. People flooded the roads and the media projected the anger beautifully. For the first time I thought that they were doing something constructive, no matter how melodramatically. Its not just that we are condemning Pakistan(maybe we are too tired to do that now, because its of no use), but this time we were questioning our own security system. I just saw an operation done by a news channel where they were checking the security at one of the Delhi Railway Stations. Nothing has been done and its as vulnerable as it was earlier and that too when there have been reports that Delhi is the next target. A similar operation was done in Mumbai and the policemen were caught napping as a revolver was taken inside the railway station.

We have been pointing fingers at the politicians about being irresponsible but how much cliched it might sound, we have to be the change we want to see. We, as citizens of this nation, are also irresponsible at the grassroot level. Leave alone taking responsibilities about important issues, how many of us don’t bribe traffic police officers, litter of the road, do illegal constructions and break traffic rules? Did we succeed as a generation who considers themselves as Indians first and then something else? Isn’t it ironical that we need a tragedy of such humongous scale to unite us? Oscillating the Government from BJP to Congress and back to BJP is not going to play the trick and we all know that. Both the parties have an equally bad track record. Its the “people” of this nation who have to change, and those “people” include the “politicians” and “all of us”. 

Lets not become this guy who spit all his venom on a Jet air-hostess. Generalizing and putting a whole community in a box is the last thing which we should indulge in right now. Hats off to all those who stood up and actually did something to help the victims. I know one of them and you can find her here. 

FINALLY

Even though India has a go ahead for the air attacks in case the Pakistan Government fails to raise the terrorist camps to the ground, I am not sure if the Indian Government might actually take the step. I hope we don’t forget this incidence like so many other and our Government take the necessary steps without wasting ages to ponder over them. We don’t have that liberty left and it definitely doesn’t work when we end up being called “a known softie”.

Some interesting reads:

Dear Mr. Terrorist

Reflecting on Mumbai

For Heroes of Mumbai, Terror was a call to action

[photograph courtesy Times of India]

Terrorism, Mumbai and the Jealous Kid

During the 1980s, when Punjab was in the claws of Terrorism, I was watching Doordarshan when something came up which I would never forget. I was a kid at that time but the visuals left a lasting impact. They were interviewing a Sikh boy(not more that 14-15 years of age) whose whole family was killed in their own house by the terrorists. The boy saved himself by hiding behind the sofa from where he saw terrorists raping his sister throughout the night and shooting her while leaving in the morning. 

I could never forget the face of that boy.

Mumbai terrorist attack which continued almost for 3 days, brought back all the bitter memories. I used to think that we are fortunate that we have not seen the atrocities of the partition, but I am not sure now. All of us have seen some incidences which we will never forget our entire lives. It was the way these attacks were carried out, the brutality of it all, that left me stunned. My paternal Uncle works in Oberoi and it was his lucky day. He had a morning shift next day and left in the evening before it all started. 

What surprised me was that when the terrorists entered the hotels, they asked for people having U.S and UK passports. They just made the reason of the attack so obvious. They are not asking for Kashmir anymore. I don’t think that is the motto anymore because they must have realized that they are not going to get it anyways. The reason has shifted. Its plain Jealousy.

Pakistan and India were born together. But 50 years down the line, India is seen as a potential superpower. There are reports that project India and China as the next emerging powers of the world. And where is our neighbouring country? Nowhere! Its just a terrorist state which breed Terrorism and make the life of the neighbouring countries miserable. They would have equalled India if probably they would have channeled their brains towards the development of their country rather that breeding Terrorists and planning coups. India is at this stage today because we “wanted” our nation to be here. We were not busy planning how to kill people in other countries. And what is happening in Pakistan now? Terrorists fighting amongst each other??

The message which the terrorists wanted to send out via the attacks was very clear – India is as unsafe as any of her neighbours. So why the hell are the Foreign companies investing in India? How can the whole world lend a hand in India’s stupendous development when there is no life safety there? Why doesn’t the world look towards its adjoining neighbours? The whole act reminds me of a kid who one day sees his neighbouring kid having a bright shiny bike and feels so miserable and helpless that he goes and breaks that bike just because his loser father does not have the brains to afford one. The kid thinks that this act would satisfy the jealousy, but at the end of the day, he still does not have the bike! No matter what the terrorist wanted, they have just made the world underline the negative mindset which they had of their country. 

If India wanted, we could have been doubly malicious. But we have always been very forgiving. Since we can’t stoop to such a low levels by sending militant groups to our neighbouring countries to kill people there, we need to tighten our own security. 

Its time that the Indian Government acts. For once, the political parties need to STOP using terrorism as an excuse to hit on each other. Please, anything else but terrorism. All the parties and people have to come together when this word is uttered. We have to stand united on this one otherwise GOD knows what more we might have to go through. We all have had enough of tension and drama in the last three days to last a lifetime. It was disheartening to see BJP coming up with slogans against Congress regarding this terrorist attack even before the operation was over. I urge all the political parties to cut the crap and DO something constructive. Something which will make sure that the next time the jealous kid tries to break the bike, we can kick his butt real hard.