The Blame Game

Oscar Wilde once said – What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

People end up reminding me of that quote too often. On a dull cloudy Monday morning, during an official meeting, someone passed a blame. It was subtle. Well crafted. I snapped. It was one of those WTF moments. What allows people to be so shamelessly naked and still claim to be draped in Cashmere yarn? We had an internal gossip meeting later on and my British colleagues asked a simple question – Why? They were apparently in a shock. They told me that they have never done that. To err is human and why is it so hard to just say “I am sorry” instead of pointing fingers – they asked. I had no answer at that point of time, but it set me thinking.

Was it an Indian thing? The naked guy definitely was. Is this kind of a behaviour an outcome of the competitive and cut throat environment we are brought up in? Is it because we have always seen our elders keep their ego above right and wrong? Is it because our parents always teach us to be good than the rest of the herd and in the process turn us into evil money generating cynics? Is it “actually” an Indian thing or is there another layer below it?

Well, it could be. Consider my job. I few bad ratings and I could be easily thrown out. I just have to rub someone on the wrong side. The rating system is royally out of shape like Rani Mukherjee’s waistline. There won’t be any repercussions for the company because the laws which hold an employee to his job are as fragile and dumb as Paris Hilton. There won’t be any compensations. So, what do I do when I commit a mistake? I try to hide it. Plain and Simple. I have a car loan to pay. And sometime later on in time, a house loan too. I can’t afford to commit mistakes.

Have we just dissolved away the idea of attaching a moral and ethical value to our acts and simply end up putting a price tag on everything?

Its all right to put price tags on “things”, but now there are invisible price tags on the repercussions of our actions too?

Isn’t it a shame? We belong to a land where people stood by each other and fought the war of Independence, fought for what was morally right(Its another story that they killed each other after the war was won, but lets not get there).

AND, maybe its not an Indian thing. Its a human thing. Its just that it is we(in this case), who were caught with our pants down. What if I switch the working environments and the living conditions? Will my British colleagues end up in a whirlpool of moral upheaval and cynicism? More importantly, will my Indian colleagues shed the price tags from their acts and stop pointing fingers if they knew that things would be very stable? I am not sure if there are answers to these questions, because human nature is as unpredictable as the weather in Manchester.

Of-course, there is an “Utopian” scenario too. Think of a team where all the members are good friends. They all understand that they have to together make the project work and have a common goal. They like each others company and are ready to help. I have worked in such a team and believe me, it is at that point when cynicism is taken over by trust and responsibility of one’s own acts and the social conditions/wrong upbringing are thrown at the back-burner. But then, that’s rare.

Its human to point fingers. Nations have pointed fingers at other nations and completely destroyed them. We point fingers at God even when we slip on a banana peel. When Gollum pointed finger at Sam and said – “He took it!!”, he was not just influencing Frodo. He was creating a path to reach the ring. No matter how contrived and shrewd he might have looked at that point but he had his own justified-to-himself reasons. Everyone has.

But is there a way out? Or is it just that we are all Gollums in our own way?

Straight from Manchester

Its a strange feeling sitting in Manchester and writing my first post from there. It has been a strange and riveting 48 hours. On Friday morning, I did not even had a clue if I would fly or not and in the evening, there  I was, standing in the bustling Metro and returning home with a ticket to Manchester in my bag. I had to fly the very next day. Everyone was speechless due to the sudden surge of events and I had no time to give parties to my bellowing group of friends. 

While zipping my suitcase just an hour before I was to leave home, I goofed up and forgot the number sequence I used to lock the bag. Finally I realized that since the sequence can only have numbers from 000 to 999, I could try all of them and one of them will open the bag. 😉 Well, thankfully, I did not even reach 200 when the bag clicked open on a combination and my whole family gave a collective sigh of relief. 😀

I had to switch flights at Abu Dhabi. I was surprised to see the crowd in the first flight. It comprised of rustic and shabbily dressed punjabi men who gulped each and every hard drink which was served on the flight. And guess which movie was the Punjabi Munda sitting next to me was watching? Singh is King!!! 🙂 I saw Mamma Mia which I wanted  to watch since a long time! Abu Dabhi airport was not very large but I gorged on the beautiful design.

The flight to Manchester from Abu Dhabi was eight hours long and I slept during the most of it. I also saw Mrs Doubtfire and an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. The best part was the flight navigation system in which you can see the exact location of the plane on your screen and the trajectory it is taking. Also, there was a camera fitted at the front of the plane and you can set your screen to view the breathtaking cockpit view of takeoff and landing. I know most of you must be familiar with all these features, but then what the hell, its my first time! 😛

And, to torment you further, like all the people who end up clicking each and every bus and building when they go to a foreign land, here are two pictures of a “Sex drive in cinemas” double Decker bus and my neighbourhood.

 

Jokes apart, next three months are going to be very hectic as there are more responsibilities on my head. I have to live upto the trust people have in me. I am happy to be here although the feeling has not sunk in properly. Not yet!  I have really wanted this from a long time and I hope it works out well for me. Pray for me. 🙂

p.s. I have been awarded by four bloggers in the past 10 days. Sorry for the delay guys!! I will be putting it up asap! 🙂

So long people!

[all the photographs are copyrighted by me. If you wish to use them, please mail me]

NCR – Nightmare Capital Region

Do you believe that Mumbai is the worst city as far as traffic jams, water logging and crime is concerned?

Do you think Bangalore is very chaotic in the peak hours of traffic?

Then think again because NCR (The Delhi, Noida, Gurgaon belt) is here to beat both the cities. Gurgaon and Noida were slated to be the upcoming satellite towns which were supposed to elevated the National Capital region to another era of development. A few years down the line and you can hear horrifying stories of people stuck in endless traffic jams, power cuts, muddy water supplies and people frequently robbed off their belongings using brand new methods.

My Own Sob Story

Ever since I have shifted to Delhi from Chennai, my nightmare never seems to end. Chennai was paradise in comparison and I can’t stop being nostalgic. Anyways, on 14 August there was an announcement in my office that the buses would leave at 5 pm instead of their regular 6 pm timings because it was our Independence Day on the next day. I was hopeful that I might reach home on time. Around 4 pm it started raining cats and dogs. It was such a heavy downpour that I was quite sure of the impending doom.

That day I reached home at 12 am.

Yes, you read it right. It took me 7 hours to reach home. In fact for the first 2 hours the bus was not able to move even an inch because of the jam and it took the bus 5 hours to reach the Gurgaon Toll which is a 2 minute drive from my office during happy days. The streets were water clogged and there were vehicles parked in all the wrong places on the narrow roads. Result – Utter chaos.

The Mouse Trap called Udyog Vihar

Udyog Vihar is a huge area in Gurgaon where many Office complexes are situated including mine. Its just on your left as soon as you cross the Toll if you are coming from Dhaula Kuan. The whole area is a trap specially when its raining or during the peak office hours.

I would really like to meet the planner of Udyog Vihar and kick his sorry ass with so much might that his next seven generations are going to reel in pain. The foolish guy designed the whole office complex as if he was designing a residential colony. Narrow lanes and huge offices. Its something like this –

So you can very well imagine what would happen when it rains very heavily and all the narrow roads are water clogged and more than 50 office buses and hundreds of cars wrestle for space to reach the main highway. I could never understand why it was planned like this. Leaving aside people who stay at far away places, if you are living in Gurgaon, it might take you anything between 1-3 hours to reach home in peak time. And all this is happening when Gurgaon is occupied only upto 40% of its capacity. Imagine the plight when it would be 90% occupied!!

The toll is another sob story. If you are fortunate enough to get away from the narrow roads, you can easily waste 15-30 minutes at the toll if you don’t have a tag. Huge snaking rows of vehicles can be seen there even at midnight.

Waterlogging and Delhi

MCD is one department which I fail to understand. Water logging is nothing new in Delhi but this is one department which have been very consistently successful in not providing a solution. Delhites have one

option now – Pray to god that he stops sending rains towards the city. We don’t want them anymore. Let us live in peace.

According to this report, even the water logging near the Prime Minister’s house a day before the Independence Day celebrations could not move MCD in action. They blamed it on Gods and told that its not their fault that there was too much rain in such a small span of time.

The Growth and its disadvantages

India has been developing at a phenomenal rate and the number of people who have the money to buy a car have increased many-fold. Result – According to this report, Delhi already has 51 lakh vehicles on road with 950 vehicles being added daily. I won’t be surprised if one day we won’t have space to walk. What is now required is a robust public transportation system so that people don’t find the need to take out their cars. Its a distant dream but lets not give up hopes.

Water Water everywhere, not a drop to drink

Whenever I ask someone about the problems about living in Noida, the first concern which is raised is – Water availability. I was shocked to see yellow coloured water in one of my friend’s house. People have to store water in their houses because there is no definite water supply available and the water is generally muddy and inadequate by all standards.

Another problem is public transportation. If you are staying in Noida or Gurgaon and you don’t have a car, then you are doomed. There are no public buses or autorikshaws(in Gurgaon) available and all you can depend upon is your local rikshaw wala. The situation is severe specially in Gurgaon.

Solutions anyone?

Electricity and water are two very basic necessities which are the responsibility of the Government authorities but we have to make sure that we are not misusing them. We all know this but sadly, knowing something and implementing something are two different things. Pool vehicles whenever possible and save resources whenever possible.

Three things to be realized –

• As Spiderman’s uncle said – With great power come great responsibility. The government needs to understand that.
• The past always has a tricky way of coming back and biting you on the ankle – Zadie Smith.
• We need to stop multiplying like cockroaches, otherwise there is really no solution which could help us.

And, oh, before I forget in all my frustration. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!! 😀

[All the photos are taken by me while I twirled my fingers stuck in the jam. The diagram is created by me]

Cows and Bulls

Reema wanted a remedy for boredom which most of us need when

• We are in a lecture and bored to death by the yawn generators whom we call professors.
• we are waiting for a deliverable to be completed and sent so that the team can leave the office by the 3 a.m. cab.
• we are travelling from Chennai to Delhi by a train for the first and the last time. Last time, because you have realised that you don’t have the kind of a patience which is required to endure such lasting-forever rythemic movements of your body. You realise that a flight would be better.
• you want to show off and make somebody understand that you know many four letter words. Err..don’t take that wrong. You will know in a moment.

The remedy is a very interesting game called COWS AND BULLS. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is the name of the game. Well, the rules are very simple.

• You must know English, which you must be knowing if you are reading this.
  
• You must have at least an iota of reasoning skills.
• Your IQ should be better than any news reporter on Aaj Tak.

The game can be played between two people or two groups. One of the group have to think of a four letter word and the other group is supposed to guess the word. You can only have 10 guesses. Fairly simple!!! I should better give an example. Suppose Team A thinks of a four letter word – KIND. They then ask Team B to start the game.

_ _ _ _ (this is what Team B has right now)

Team B start the game by telling their first guess. Let it be – PAIN.

Now, KIND and PAIN are two entirely different words as we can all see. Out of the four alphabets in KIND, PAIN has only two alphabets – I and N. Both these alphabets are in the wrong positions. In KIND, I is at the second position while in PAIN, its in the third position. Similarly, N is in the 3rd position in KIND and 4th position in PAIN. This means 2 COWS(Team A have to tell this to Team B without revealing which two alphabets they are talking about). Cows refer to the alphabets which are there, but not at the right position.

P A I N ( This is team B’s first guess. 2 COWS)

Team B now thinks of creating a new word which should have two of the alphabets from PAIN. Suppose they come up with NILE. Now in this word I is at the correct position while N again is at the wrong position. So, Team A would say – 1 BULL and 1 COW (BULL refer to the alphabets in the right position)

N I L E ( 1 Bull, 1 cow)

Now Team B know that they have one alphabet in the right position and one in the wrong position. Team B has to keep on analysing the guesses thay have made earlier so that they can make a better guess next time. Suppose this time they come up with PINE. Now this has 2 BULLS, as I and N are in the correct position.

P I N E

Matching PINE and NILE, Team B can conclude that from I, N or E, two are at the correct place. Now they have to confirm which are the two bulls. They tell their next word – PINT. Team A tell them that they have 2 Bulls again and this confirms that I and N are at their correct place.

P I N T

Team B now have to think of a word which have I and N at the same place as in PINT. They come up with FIND. Team A tell them that they have 3 Bulls now.

F I N D

Now the 3rd Bull can be either F or D. To confirm Team B give the next word, which is FINS. Which lands them with 2 Bulls again and confirms that the 3rd Bull is D.

F I N S

Team B now comes up with the word KIND which has all the 3 Bulls in the correct position. And Bingo!!!! They get 4 BULLS.

K I N D

This is the end of the game and Team B wins as they were able to guess the word in less than 10 chances. This was a very simplified example but the game can get a lot more complicated with the team making a lot more wrong guesses. Also, if you give certain words which have a single alphabet occurring multiple times( For e.g. LULL), then such words are hard to guess.

So, that’s it folks. This is the game. Enjoy!!!!!!

p.s. For any queries and clarifications, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment. 😀

The price of being different

How do we react when we come across a woman who is middle aged, successful and not married?

How do we react when we come across a person who is gay/lesbian?

How do we react when we come across a couple who have remarried in old age?

Most of us react in the most inexplicable manner. The reaction starts with amazement and passes to confusion and ends up in a recoil of horror or disgust. We are so much used to live in our own contrived world that a slight deviation lands us in a state of utter bewilderment. We just can’t accept a person who does not think like us and who lives a life which is not considered “normal” by any standard of society. People want other people to be like them and if they don’t succeed then they turn really nasty.

The three instances which I have stated above are too big for many to digest. People cant’ even digest “slight” deviations. As a kid, I was more interested in reading books rather than playing cricket. My Physical Education teacher was a lady who just could not understand me. She always looked at me with such resentful eyes as if I was a pig who just got out of a pool of scum. She tried her best to defame me in the school as I was the topper but I never gave a hoot. I just could not understand that why was I forced to do something in which I was not interested? And why couldn’t she digest the fact that there can be a boy who does not like to play cricket? In such situations, a person turns towards his friends and parents where he expects support and encouragement. Can you imagine the trauma when he finds none? Thankfully, this was not the case with me.

Anyways, this was just a small example. I have known four women who are middle aged, chose to remain unmarried and had fabulous careers. When people are told about such women, they invariably end up making fun of them.

“Oh!! There must be some medical problem. Or maybe she was ditched and she turned into a man-hater. *giggles* “

People just can’t accept the fact that a woman/man can feel complete and satisfied even if she/he does not marry. The person might have a different definition of “Satisfaction” which most of us fail to acknowledge or understand. Its not really hard but many of us don’t have that dimension in our thought process.

A few days back I was having a discussion with a close friend of mine and we were discussing the Gay Pride March which happened in Delhi. My friend asked me that how would I react if one fine day I find out that one of my close friend is gay? This is how our talk went –

Me – Why do I need to react?
Friend – Because its not normal.
Me – What is normal then?
Friend – A girl and a boy falling in love. That’s normal.
Me – Who decides that?
Friend – That’s the way things are.
Me – And who decides that?
Friend – I don’t get your point.
Me – Why should I care about what a person do in his bedroom and what are his sexual preferences as long as I am not asked to get involved? If he is a dear friend then he will remain one. I am no one to decide how a person leads his life. Its his life. I can’t point out fingers at a person who is just living his life his own way. There are many people in this world who do things like killing people, raping innocents, robbing others of their land and money and fooling a whole nation. I would like to point my finger at them.
Friend – Errrr…I don’t know. Guess I will leave him.
Me – Congratulations. You are a part of a vast majority.

Most of us think that nature did not intended it to happen that way but lets not be God and slap our decisions on others. A human must have the right to live the way he wants to as long as he is not hurting anyone. And lets not make fun of people who don’t share our thinking.

We don’t find anything wrong when someone gives or takes Dowry. We don’t find anything wrong when we bribe an officer to get our work done. We don’t find anything wrong when we do illegal constructions on our houses. But we don’t leave any stone unturned to make the life of a person miserable who does not wish to become an Engineer or a Doctor or a person who falls in love at the age of 50 or a couple who decide not to have a baby.

All of us feel bad when someone takes a dig at us but we don’t think twice before disparaging someone. No one likes to be mistreated and told that you don’t fit in. Fit in where? Forming an opinion is good but lets have a rational and logical thinking behind one. Telling a mother that her daughter is a burden and needs to be disposed off(married) as soon as possible is the worst kind of insult you can inflict on anyone. Similarly, telling your son that he has brought disgrace on the family because he is inclined towards a career which is not of your liking is a form of mental abuse.

Lets not turn “being different” into a misfortune for the person. Lets not inflict anxiety, depression and anger on someone when we, as parents and friends, can become the person’s real strength. Lets not make fun of people who, according to our dogmatic and sectarian thinking process, don’t fit in. Lets not be the spiteful, purposeless chauvinists we were never meant to be and give some respect to the fellow humans.

[the photo is taken from – http://flickr.com/photos/nickwheeleroz/2220008689/]

Your Jaw drops when…

…you notice a guy in your office who is wearing a white shirt with sky blue polka dots on it. A FORMAL SHIRT WITH POLKA DOTS!!!

…you wake up in the middle of the night and find two of your best friends(a boy and a girl of course) kissing. They are sitting next to you in a bus while returning from a school trip and have vehemently denied any sort of a relationship.

…your project leader sends a mail to the whole team without doing a spell check re-reading(*thanks Poonam*) and has misspelled list as lust.

…your project manager sends a “Happy Birthday” mail to you by copy pasting it from the sent items list in his mailbox and forgets to change the name of the earlier recipient. So you get a mail with a “Happy Birthday Vishnu” written in bold instead of “Happy birthday Amit”.

…one of your female friend tells you that a friend of her had a misconception that the male reproductive organ is 1 foot long and is coiled.

…your mother throws a brick at your neighbour’s house because she wants him to stop singing at the top of his voice on a loudspeaker, because your final board exams are going on and because she is cooking food and does not have time to go and talk to him!!!

…you spot an employee of your company sitting in the discussion room and reading Hanuman Chalisa.

…one of your friend at the office comes to you and tells you that she got engaged in the weekend. She was told about the engagement by her family on Friday and the ceremony took place on Saturday. She saw the guy for the first time during the engagement.

…after being verbally battered and bruised with Physics theory questions by two panels for P.hD entrance in JNU and after loosing all hopes of even being considered for a selection, you are selected.

…your grandma tells you that her father was a very rich man and had just finalised a huge land deal in Delhi for a big bungalow just before he died.

…your grandma(again!!!) tells you that she was offered movies when she was young but it was considered inappropriate in that era for girls to act in movies, so her father refused. You feel like going and yelling at your grandma’s dad that if he would have not interfered with his daughter’s destiny, you would have been launched by now and would have won a handful of awards and would have done some movies with Kareena.

…your cousin drops her towel(followed by a scream and slamming of the door) when she is dancing to “Mere khwaboon main jo aaye” as she moved from the bathroom to her room.

…you come to know that one of your roommate whom you considered to be worthless and irritating and someone a girl will never touch with a barge pole, has a girlfriend.

…your classmate in class eight comes one fine morning in the classroom and declares that he had lost his virginity last night and continues to tell his tale after the gasps had died down.

…and finally, when your parents declare that they are not going to search for any girls to marry you because a moron(read astrologer) have told them that their son is going to fall in love soon.