The price of Happyness

Do you remember this photograph?

collage

Well, if you don’t, then you better READ THIS. Anyways, the point is that I have to change the photograph a little bit. This is how it looks like now:

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(Clockwise from top : S, A, L, P, Ra, Ru and Me)

I need answers. I feel like exploding. I want to scream. I feel like a human who was abducted by aliens and had no idea where he was in the last two months or why this happened to him.

I want to know if this happens only to me or are all of us sailing in the same boat?

This has been a salient feature throughout my life and it freaks me out at times. Whenever there is a small tinge of happiness in my life I always have to pay a price for it. The bigger the happiness, the bigger the price. No, I don’t want to balm myself with all the shit about You-wont-know-the-price-of-happiness-till-you-know-what-pain-is. Believe me, I have been through so much pain for so many small tiny happy moments in my life that all I remember is the pain. There is a shloka in Sanskrit which roughly translates to – If you don’t get things at the right time, the rasa(taste) of happiness is not the same. I think either that Shloka was written by me in my previous birth OR someone in the past wrote it when he saw my life through a Crystal Ball. Does this happen to everyone? Or is it just me?

I have always dreamt of seeing the world. To say that I was “happy” when I was told that I would be working from Manchester would be an understatement. I was elated. I was on cloud nine!!! But there was a price attached to it. I could almost see that cynical, mocking smile on God’s face.

“Do you think you are going to get all this for free? You fool!”. And the smirking followed.

I moved to Manchester in February and soon after A and L got married(to each other, that is) that month. We were sad and happy at the same time. For the first time in my life, I understood what “Mixed Feelings” meant. None of us(except the couple) could make it to the wedding. Four of us were in USA and I was in UK. 

I was somehow trying to console myself when the second bomb dropped. Ra and Ru got married(to each other, that is) in April, although we were hoping that it won’t be scheduled before December. Thankfully the newly wed L and A were in India and they were able to make it. Even if the rest of us could have thought about a plan to fly and attend the wedding, the great storm of “Recession” was already looming on the horizon.

I had never imagined in my wildest dreams that I could miss those two weddings. These six fools mean so much to me that I will never forgive God for doing this to us. I was talking to Ra a few days back, and I told him that I have lead a very happy life and if someone would have asked me to go back and change one moment of my life, I would have never done that. But now, everything has changed. I want to go back and change things. If I could somehow go there, and be a part of it….

I was in control of my emotions since the last two months but while looking at the wedding pics which Ra has uploaded in Orkut, I came across a photo of Ra and Ru’s wedding reception where they were sitting with A and L. The caption below the photo read….

2 couples.. and we see many other invisible friends whom we can never forget…

That was it! When I read that caption, I completely broke down. This was the price of my happiness. I got what I wanted. I am in Manchester. But God took away something very very precious to me. Something, which will never happen again and I will never be a part of it.

Does this happen to you too? Is there always a price to pay? Is destiny God’s way of playing cruel jokes on us? Or are we entangled in our own webs of crisscrossed dreams?

p.s. We finally cracked the formula for keeping a group intact. Just marry the girls. 😉

[Photographs are copyrighted by me]

Terrorism, Mumbai and the Jealous Kid

mumbaiDuring the 1980s, when Punjab was in the claws of Terrorism, I was watching Doordarshan when something came up which I would never forget. I was a kid at that time but the visuals left a lasting impact. They were interviewing a Sikh boy(not more that 14-15 years of age) whose whole family was killed in their own house by the terrorists. The boy saved himself by hiding behind the sofa from where he saw terrorists raping his sister throughout the night and shooting her while leaving in the morning. 

I could never forget the face of that boy.

Mumbai terrorist attack which continued almost for 3 days, brought back all the bitter memories. I used to think that we are fortunate that we have not seen the atrocities of the partition, but I am not sure now. All of us have seen some incidences which we will never forget our entire lives. It was the way these attacks were carried out, the brutality of it all, that left me stunned. My paternal Uncle works in Oberoi and it was his lucky day. He had a morning shift next day and left in the evening before it all started. 

What surprised me was that when the terrorists entered the hotels, they asked for people having U.S and UK passports. They just made the reason of the attack so obvious. They are not asking for Kashmir anymore. I don’t think that is the motto anymore because they must have realized that they are not going to get it anyways. The reason has shifted. Its plain Jealousy.

Pakistan and India were born together. But 50 years down the line, India is seen as a potential superpower. There are reports that project India and China as the next emerging powers of the world. And where is our neighbouring country? Nowhere! Its just a terrorist state which breed Terrorism and make the life of the neighbouring countries miserable. They would have equalled India if probably they would have channeled their brains towards the development of their country rather that breeding Terrorists and planning coups. India is at this stage today because we “wanted” our nation to be here. We were not busy planning how to kill people in other countries. And what is happening in Pakistan now? Terrorists fighting amongst each other??

The message which the terrorists wanted to send out via the attacks was very clear – India is as unsafe as any of her neighbours. So why the hell are the Foreign companies investing in India? How can the whole world lend a hand in India’s stupendous development when there is no life safety there? Why doesn’t the world look towards its adjoining neighbours? The whole act reminds me of a kid who one day sees his neighbouring kid having a bright shiny bike and feels so miserable and helpless that he goes and breaks that bike just because his loser father does not have the brains to afford one. The kid thinks that this act would satisfy the jealousy, but at the end of the day, he still does not have the bike! No matter what the terrorist wanted, they have just made the world underline the negative mindset which they had of their country. 

If India wanted, we could have been doubly malicious. But we have always been very forgiving. Since we can’t stoop to such a low levels by sending militant groups to our neighbouring countries to kill people there, we need to tighten our own security. 

Its time that the Indian Government acts. For once, the political parties need to STOP using terrorism as an excuse to hit on each other. Please, anything else but terrorism. All the parties and people have to come together when this word is uttered. We have to stand united on this one otherwise GOD knows what more we might have to go through. We all have had enough of tension and drama in the last three days to last a lifetime. It was disheartening to see BJP coming up with slogans against Congress regarding this terrorist attack even before the operation was over. I urge all the political parties to cut the crap and DO something constructive. Something which will make sure that the next time the jealous kid tries to break the bike, we can kick his butt real hard.

Raping bonanza in Orissa!!!

Can’t find a woman to quench your testosterone buildup?? If you are in India and you could still not find a woman to rape, then you are a fool. Be smart and move to Orissa NOW!!! The Raping festival is in full swing there. On reaching Orissa, whereever you see a mindless, directionless and a salivating mob who is chanting – Bharat “Mata” ki Jai(Long live Mother India) while they run from Church to Church in search of Nuns to rape, go ahead and blend into it. Don’t be afraid!!!! You won’t be caught. While you insert your tool inside the woman pleading on the ground, the police will be standing there, but they will just smoke some cigarettes and watch the whole scene as one watches cheap porn movies and after you have finished the paisa wasool entertainer, they will just move into the bushes to jerk off their pleasures. And wait!!! There is more. You can later strip the Nun completely naked and march her in the streets which shouting – Bharat “Mata” ki Jai! This is important, because that is how you can put a communal color on the whole incidence. THAT is how you can justify the rape. Its for Hindutwa, for our beloved Mother India. Does it sounds ironical? To save an imaginary woman, you are raping a real one? But then how does it matter to you? You satiated your hunger. No one caught you and you had all the right reasons. Nuns belong to a minority group and no one is going to care anyways. The last time it happened, the Orissa Government took 38 days to admit it. If someone asks you the group to which you belong, just name Bajrang Dal or Vishwa Hindu Parishad. No one will touch you with a barge pole after that.

And ofcourse, if you can’t find Nuns, you can rape Hindu girls too. Later, you can just say – “Oops!!! I thought she was a Christian! Sorry!”

No matter how much satire I try to imbibe in the post, I still could not capture an iota of the agony which the Christian community is going through right now. I am a Hindu and I hate the way we arm-twist every minority community in India. I have started hating the whole idea of religion. Is there a minority group which we have spared? Its hard to believe that the most ancient and sacred religion in the world is so fragile that we need to rape women to maintain its sanctity.

All this could have been stopped if there would have been a political will to stop it. But as we all know, it isn’t there. I wonder how the government was so prompt to act on the Delhi Bomb Blasts? Why didn’t it took them 38 days to acknowledge it? Because it was not aimed at the minorities? Because the vote bank was angry? The Center is “Unhappy” with the Naveen Patnaik Government for the violence in the state. Unhappy?? Excuse me?? And then later there was a “pass the muck” competition between the Centre and the State government.

Centre – We sent 7000 personnel of central para-military forces to curb the riots.

State – The forces and helicopters were not sent on “crucial” days.

I felt like puking when I read this. Are these the leaders whom we selected to run our nation? Why do our leaders think too much before taking a decision? By the time the Ministers would stop mulling over whether President’s Rule be imposed or not, do they realise that a number of people would have died? Why do we wait for people to die before spurring to action? Our Ministers are not even capable of taking defensive measures, leave alone an offensive one.

If Mother India ever existed, she would have already drowned in the blood of thousands of “INDIANS” we have already butchered for our own personal gains(and pleasures) while we shouted her name. And we have stained Hinduism so much that we don’t even remember what it meant.

Bharat Mata ki Jai. Indeed!!!