Report Card of my Mistress

To tell you the truth, I was not expecting a readership when I came back after 2 years of blogging break. I bet a lot of you don’t know that this blog was dormant from Jan 2009 to Oct 2011. I wanted to finish my novel before it poisoned my brain. I had to throw the story out of my system. Yes, it is done and lying on its ass in my laptop since a month awaiting another important decision of my life. In layman’s terms, it is in queue. I have gone through the story so many times that it seems that all that exercise of throwing it out of my system was in vain. It is flowing in my blood now.

Anyways, another thing that happened in those two years of sabbatical was that I met Geet and we got married. We did it the old-fashioned way by not even meeting up before we said yes. Wait! Don’t faint. We had a webcam chat or two and a month of telephonic conversation. It feels surreal now that I write it. What if she had 4 legs? You surely can hide that in a webcam chat. And no it wasn’t a sex chat. So, we got married and moved to Manchester for a year and explored each other (Ahem!) and the beautiful Britain. I spent all my savings and we went to France and Switzerland and bought coats worth 10000 Rs. In short, we lived that year in a very expensive Yash Chopra movie.

While all this was happening, my blog was always calling me back. It was like a wailing, abandoned child whom I have left behind and felt guilty about it. So, when I returned back to India, dust, honks and heaps of people (read Delhi) in 2011, I thought of picking up the child again. It wasn’t easy. The readership was almost gone. My blogging friends of old had almost vanished. But once I started writing in Dec 2011, the joy knew no comments. The dam was broken. I found all of you, one by one over the course of last one year. Some old friends returned and were happy to see me back. It was all exhilarating.

Geet was shocked. She hasn’t seen me giving attention to anyone except her and here I was juggling her with a blog, a novel and a movie novels and watching movies (corrected the sentence after readers thought I was writing a movie script! 😐 ). It took her some time to stop calling MashedMusings my mistress and absorb the juggler in me. I told her that it was like preparing Rice, Rajma, Paneer Makhni, Chapati and Dahi Bhalle all in one go – like I did for her on Karwachauth in 2 hours flat. I bought her a diamond to pacify her.

So, thank you everyone for reading this blog and appreciating what I write. It means a lot to me because I do not think very highly of myself (I keep telling Geet that she must have been really blind to marry me. I say dialogues like – ‘what were you bloody thinking?!?!’ while she gives me a really scratch-head-confusing smile). So, all this appreciation is very humbling.

Now you must be wondering why I am in a self-critical mode today? Well, I accidentally read my Yearly Report Card on WordPress today and felt good and thought of thanking everyone which now that I read it, is more of a blabbering.


Here’s an excerpt:

19,000 people fit into the new Barclays Center to see Jay-Z perform. This blog was viewed about 130,000 times in 2012. If it were a concert at the Barclays Center, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

79 comments on “Report Card of my Mistress

  1. The best thing about blogging is – you can always take a break and then get back from where ever you left your blog 🙂 I was really glad to see you back. It’s awesome to see someone write boldly and honestly about issues that matter to each one of us, specially when such discussions are seen as radical :\ Congratulations and look forward to reading more of your posts in the coming years 🙂

    • It was a bit different when I came back. A lot of people have left and I was very apprehensive. It turned out great though. 🙂
      Thanks IHM for all the praise. You have been an inspiration.

  2. Thank God you got back to blogging! Just imagine what we would have missed otherwise 🙂

    Hope you have a wonderful year ahead. May your book be published this year 🙂

    By the way I too am featured in your report card 😀

    • I know! That would have been a big blow to the blogging world. 😛
      Thanks Metherebel and yes you are featured in the top 5 commentators if I remember correctly. 🙂

  3. A blogging world without you? :-0
    I don’t want to think about it and I’m glad you came back that too in full action.
    OMG!! What all we must have missed if you had decided not to continue 😦

  4. I started reading your blog only a few months back. I realllyyy love the way you write and blogger, sorry, wordpress is lucky to have you 🙂
    Now do something with your book. We need good work out there!

    • Thanks Nisha. Yes, I am glad to be back. I was missing the action here. 🙂
      My book! It would have gone to the publishing houses by now but it seems there isn’t anything simple in my life!
      January end is the deadline for me to get things straight. Fingers crossed.

  5. It’s great that you have decided to come back or I wouldn’t have known you , I mean your blog. After reading few of your posts I have subscribed by email. Keep writing.

  6. I knew your period of dormancy. That was the time when my small blog circle started becoming smaller when blogs were falling silent. It was like a closing ceremony of a concert. All noise at one moment and sudden lull afterwards. My blog started sleeping around that time too, and has been continuing with an occasional snore (read : post). I hope that my mistress will throw consistent performances too. But I can’t wait till I get a wife to make that happen. 😛
    Happy for you for your blog. Happier for you for getting a wife like that 🙂

    • Yeah, I remember that a lot of bloggers went on a break in 2009. It wasn’t a very nice feeling but there are still a few around and I am glad.
      I think you can make your blog your girlfriend for the time being. 😛
      Thanks Su. 🙂

  7. Parteeeeeeee 🙂
    And cheers to many more years of happiness for you alongside both your main love and your mistress ( uh..umm.. damn.. cant remember the name of the mistress..oh ya, Geet !! 😀 )

    • Thanks HArikrishna. 🙂 I am glad too that I came back.
      All I can say are the following lines from a song by Shri Enrique Iglesias – You can run, you can hide but you can’t escape your blog.

  8. I started reading your blog i few months back and i’ve throughly enjoyed each of your posts. Thank god you started blogging again or i wouldn’t have known you. Just wish to see your blog here forever. And 1,30,000 views..OMG i can’t even imagine that. Congrats. 🙂

    • Thanks Pseudomonaz. Coming back has been a great experience for me. 🙂
      You must go and see the stats of IHM’s blog. It is not for the faint-hearted.

  9. You should have wrote this post after sending us a box of sweets each 😉
    Wait, you guys didn’t met until saying ‘Yes’! That is out-of-the-world. And here, I keep on stumbling upon Tom Dick and Harrys with no luck at all. Sigh.

    • I will put up a picture of sweets here. 😛
      We met for the first time on our Roka. No one in his/her right mind would have done what we did but at that time both of us were sure that it was the right step. 🙂

  10. I didn’t even know that you used to blog before! I only started reading you recently and I remember thinking, where did this guy come from, you know with most of the people in my blogging circle knowing you or sharing your links! You write some real food for thought stuff, so do keep writing! Good luck with your novel! And stop exaggerating about the Rice, Rajma, Paneer stuff 😛

    • I started in 2007 and it turned into real fun in a year. You won’t find a lot of bloggers here who interacted with me at that time. Then the break happened and a lot of them ended up being my Facebook friends. 🙂
      Thanks Deepa. I really want the novel to proceed to the next step by the end of January. Fingers crossed.
      And I did make all that stuff in 2 hours! 😛 The thing is that Geet cannot multitask in the kitchen. With me, all the four burners are on and I cook everything simultaneously. The first time she saw this, she could not believe the jackpot she had hit. 🙂

  11. It is good that you decided to pick up the wailing child, else you’d have had the authorities set on you by your readers 🙂 And what movie? Don’t tell me you are also producing a movie? Wowie! And congrats for the awesome WP stats.

    • Yes, I am glad too that I picked up the child.
      Err.. no movie. I have corrected the sentence now. Producing!?!? With my Home loan, I am on the verge of begging! I am eating chapati with onions nowadays. Ok, that was an exaggeration.
      Thanks Zephyr. 🙂

  12. Congrats on the amazing stats. You deserve them for the sheer quality of your writing and the blazing intensity of your emotions. Interesting, your story of meeting Geet :). I am sure, she will learn to live with this virtual mistress of yours :). I didn’t know that you were blogging back then. I have been blogging since 2008 but only found your blog in the last year! Looking forward to your book. Movie? Now are you producing one or writing the script of one? Wish greater heights to Mashed Musings and Amit Sharma in 2013!

    • I think the stats are all right. They are more of people landing on my blog when they google – ‘Aishwarya Rai Fat’ or ‘Megan Fox real eyes’ or ‘forced incest’. 🙂
      I started blogging in 2007. It was fun for a long time till I decided to get deciplined about writing the book. I hope I push it to a logical end this year.
      Err…no Movies. I have corrected the sentence. All I wanted to say that there was an avalanche of movies that we watched after we got married. 🙂
      Thanks for your wishes Rachna!

  13. Wow…you are writing a book and a movie? That’s some news…waiting to hear all about it…As I started blogging only an year back, I didn’t even know that you blogged before…it was wonderful to come across your blog, Amit. I really enjoy your writings and my son loves your snoring tower of pisa :)..thank you for sharing your story of How you met Geet…And pls don’t leave this wonderful mistress of yours in the years to come…or else we all will miss her.. 🙂 Happy Blogging!!!

    • Just a book. 🙂 I have finished it. Just waiting now to get my life on track before I send it to a publishing house.
      I started blogging in 2007. 🙂
      Thanks for all the wishes Latha and I am glad that I found so many like-minded people here. And yes, Geet is making her peace with my mistress. She doesn’t have a choice. 🙂

  14. Hey Amit!

    I started reading your blog couple of years back n then gradually started reading blogs of people commenting on ur posts and then stopped reading blogs when U stopped writing them (one other reason was I too got married n was busy setting my new world) 🙂 and now that U R back I m back reading blogs too.
    … 🙂

  15. Am so glad you have a mistress 🙂 There, I just went into Geet’s shun-list 😛

    Very happy to read your work and look at those awesome sketches and paintings you share! I am a newbie here and yours is a very inspiring blog 🙂
    Hope to read more! And one signed copy of the novel for me please?

  16. i love your blog. Your posts make my husband also laugh….which is really a big deal…:D…unke yahan hansne pe generally “kaaran batao”notice mil jaata hai..:D..:D..
    Anyways, keep writing…cheers…:)

  17. I read “male feminist” and went, here goes another pretentious slob..
    But then whipping up Dahi Bhalle for her while she fasts for you, I doff my hat to you, good sire!

    • Thanks Revathi.
      I would have fasted with her but I cannot stay hungry for the whole day. God knows how she does that. If I had my way, I would have abolished the custom from my house.

  18. I was so glad to discover your blog a few months back, Amit. The humour in your posts makes me guffaw like crazy and I also love the way you don’t mince words on issues you feel strongly about. So here’s to your mistress, I am sure Geet loves her too 🙂
    Congratulations on the awesome stats and happy blogging 🙂

    • Thanks Scribblehappy. 🙂 I am glad that I have such readers who relate to my thoughts. 🙂
      Geet secretly loves her (*gasp*) but she will never admit to it. 😛

  19. Good to see you back, Amit. I stopped blogging too after marriage, lol!. I hope I will come back to blogosphere from this alien world as soon as I get a space shuttle from the time warp. I did check your blogs couple times those 2 years and inquired about your novel. Good to see you back..Hope to see more of your movie suggestions too! Take care 🙂

    • Good to see you too! 🙂
      Well, I have finished the book and so have time for my blog now. Just tying some loose ends before I send it to the publishers.
      Hahah! It seems you are stuck in married life. 😛

  20. Sorry to be coming late to the Barclays Centre. Yet, i seem to have missed none of it! That was indeed a power-packed performance. Here is wishing a million sparkling starbursts to your mistress!

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