Misanthropically Yours

I am turning into a misanthrope. I don’t want to but when I see a five year old raped and tortured, when I hear news of a bottle and candles retrieved from her vagina, when I see a policeman offer Rs 2000 to the raped girl’s father to let go of the thought of an FIR, when I see a policeman telling the survivor’s family that they should be thankful that the girl is alive, when I see a policeman slapping a protesting girl, when I see politicization of the issue, I don’t see how I can stop myself from hating mankind.

My generation has not seen the World Wars but I have read enough books, seen enough movies, seen enough documentaries to understand what happened. I know how a culture was obliterated, how it was turned into gaseous fumes coming out of a chimney of a camp. I know how millions of carcasses were shoved into pits using trenchers, I know how two entire cities where vapourised in the name of peace. The images are entrenched in my mind. I can never forget the image of a four year old naked Jew boy running towards a barbed fence of a concentration camp as a German shepherd chased him. I felt lucky that I haven’t lived in those times but the ironical bit about history is that it doesn’t matter. It is an embarrassment everyone wants to forget and then commit again. And no, you are never lucky enough. The end of barbarism can never be a done deal.

Has the world turned into a better place to live? Is this a meaningless question? Can our society function without brutality or will it crumble to pieces in its absence?

I do not understand this race anymore. I do not understand why I have to live in a constant fear of losing my loved ones. I do not understand the brutal images of what could happen to my family that spring in my mind every other day. I do not understand the utter abjection with which we treat each other.

I sometimes feel that my mind will explode into a million tiny pieces. I sometimes want to howl with pain, scream so loud that the sound exterminates every human from the face of Earth. I want to give this planet another chance, something that is not possible till humans infect it.

They tell me that I should be grateful for the good life God has given me. I have a loving family and a happy life. Is that good enough reason to be satisfied, to count my lucky stars? How can I be happy when I look around and see misery? How can I be happy when I read about men exploding themselves in marketplaces to serve their God? How can I be happy when I belong to a country where the fragile culture is all about encouraging rapes and molestation? How can I be happy when I see a doctor telling the parents that they can wrap the dead female fetus in a newspaper and throw it in the dustbin on their way out? How can I be happy when I see the subjugation of the weak at every nook and corner? I don’t know how people cocoon themselves and live a detached life. I feel violated.

They tell me that there is good in the world. I would like to believe that but how is good a part of the solution? Is it growing? Is it reducing the coldness? How many more sacrifices before it takes over?

No. Telling me that there is good in the world is not good enough. Tell me how the world is getting better because that is what I want to know. And don’t call me a pessimist. I am only numb with horror. I see things getting worse all around me.

I am scared to bring a child in this world. I am scared that I will spend the rest of my life worrying for the safety of my kid. Apathy has no boundaries. It is a limitless ocean, it is a black hole that has sucked everything that was good in this world. I don’t want my child to live in its shadow and I don’t want to put a cage around my child. I don’t want to live the rest of my life pretending that I live in a war zone.

I wish to meet that 5 year old girl. I wish to hold her in my arms and tell her that it will be all right. I wish she looks at me and smile. I wish to live in a world where this heavy burden of fear does not exist on my chest. I wonder how it feels to live without it. Just thinking about its absence makes me feel rejuvenated, makes me feel like a freed slave. I wish to live in a world where power is not brutal, where humans are not derailed psychopaths, where life is treated as an invaluable gift, where happiness is not insulated and confined to a selected few, where God has no face.

The night sky fills me with awe. The stars and planets are nature’s way of telling us about our insignificance, about our diminutive presence in the universe. And we still have the intrepidity of hurting each other, of clawing at each other’s soul, of raping a 5 year old.

Isn’t that enough reason to be a misanthrope?

107 comments on “Misanthropically Yours

  1. Marina Abramović is a new-york based performance artist. In 1974, she did a trust exercise where she told viewers she would not move for six hours no matter what they did to her. She placed 72 objects one could use in pleasing or destructive ways, ranging from flowers and a feather boa to a knife and a loaded pistol, on a table near her and invited the viewers to use them on her however they wanted.
    Initially, Abramović said, “viewers were peaceful and timid, but it escalated to violence quickly. “The experience I learned was that … “if you leave decision to the public, you can be killed… I felt really violated: they cut my clothes, stuck rose thorns in my stomach, one person aimed the gun at my head, and another took it away. It created an aggressive atmosphere. After exactly 6 hours, as planned, I stood up and started walking toward the public. Everyone ran away, escaping an actual confrontation.”

    See how readily people will harm one another. How easy it is to dehumanize someone, who doesn’t fight back( in this case the 5 year old kid).

    • It shows that we basically love hurting each other. We find pain fascinating as long as it isn’t inflicted on us.
      Laws is what keeps the animal in us in check. Sadly, this check is unavailable in our country.

    • Aman,
      I don’t think God has anything to do with this. We need to see inside. We have the power to change the course. The point is how long will we wait?

    • what i have seen in this post is too much complaining and worry about current situation.i don’t see basic reasons for this kinda situation or solution to stop these incidents in your blog post and comments.i think people lack basics in understanding culture among so called educated.if you don’t have clarity on culture and what civilised is,you can never find solution or you can never find reason for current situation in society.

      last day,you were worrying for not having free pda in india.if you adapt western culture into another culture,this creates confusion among unwise and people perceive it in different ways and it has more negative effect coz it doesn’t belong to us.last night i went to watch a movie called EK THI DAYAAN,a girl and two guys were romancing in my front seat.everyone in back seat were commenting STUDENT OF THE YEAR movie perversion.most of couples are uninhibitedly getting physical inside movie theatres coz they are not getting private place to have sex and house owner will never allow any kinda threesome or twosome coz its against indian culture to have premarital or extramarital.this kinda perversion is more among posh and educated.what should be western culture effect on illiterates and less educated,it just makes them barbarians.

      today india looks like a person with half-tonsured head or half shaved moustache,it looks ugly.this means half-western culture and half-indian culture among corrupt minds is deadly.from my childhood i din’t had friends,the reason is till date i din’t see really good and honest person.so a society that doesn’t encourage good can never be good.

      solution is,since its impossible to get rid of western influence or culture,its better for whole of india to leave its culture and adapt to western culture.make prostitution legal,create a free society to have free sex without inhibitions or taboo.stop moral policing and religious restrictions all over india.make india another usa or italy in terms of sexual freedom.

      i don’t expect indian citizens and law enforcement agencies becoming ideal over night coz it can never happen.i have seen india from my childhood as a good guy,indians make living by cheating and fraud.illegal is legal in india and at the end of the day i call india as rogue nation.

      you can check below link.alex aka rohan


      • Rohan,
        Your thoughts are nonsensical and incoherent. I have very clearly stated in my previous post that I don’t buy your theory of cultural superiority. So please stop shoving it down my throat.
        Secondly, I know my blog is not going to solve problems. It was not created for that purpose. So, if you think that I am wasting your time, maybe you should stop reading it.

        • i have seen this resistive behavior to right things among indians from my childhood.life with flaws is easy so most of them support any theory that allows them to live with flaws.flawless life is very tough and opportunists aka bad guys say there is no such thing called flawless to get rid of tough life.

          well ,if you find facts and wisest thoughts nonsensical,you don’t have right to speak against bad things happening in society.you din’t understand my comments on culture,so i can’t help people who dunno what culture is.across globe,culture defines everything with clarity , whats right and wrong ,what has to be private and public to create healthy society.,
          this is my last comment in your blog,wow people speak about change in society and they don’t have acceptance to facts……………indian hypocrisy.

          • So basically you already know that you are right and others are wrong. And you are a guru on matters of culture. You have a habit of presenting ‘your thoughts’ as facts and if someone does not agree to them, they are hypocrites.
            If it was as simple as culture defining everything and people following it, then Earth would have turned into a paradise long ago.
            I will be glad if you do not return to my blog. Another comment from you and I will block you.

      • You are mistaken when you uphold indian culture as superior. It is not. It allows people to commit many crimes in the name of culture. I don’t think the labourer from muzzafarnagar who attacked the 5 year old child was influenced by western movies and tv shows, he is a pedophile. No amount of freedom will make any man want to violate a child with glass bottles and candles. No amount of teenagers getting intimate in theaters will tell 6 men that it is ok to shred a young girl’s insides with an iron rod and leave her to die on the roadside. I think the superior indian culture tells indian men on a daily basis that women are their toys to violate, rape, throw acid on, pour kerosene on and set fire to them, trap them in moving cars and buses and continue to attack them in a nationwide frenzy. If western culture sees men treat their women with respect, no matter what they wear or what time of day or night they leave homes, if children in their countries survive without any danger – with very few exceptions, then they are indeed a superior culture or their parents were better at being parents. Indians as a majority are corrupt, ignorant and potential criminals. I am ashamed that western countries are issuing travel advisories for India, warning their citizens that they can be raped and killed freely when they enter this country.

  2. You have voiced my thoughts here.Your fears increase when you have a kid. I am just thinking of the day when some invention would safeguard all the innocent children and women from these maniacs.

    • Crime free society is a mirage Sujani. But you don’t expect things to get worse as time progresses. And this is exactly what is happening.

  3. I feel the same as you do, Amit. Every line of it. Every word of it. Which world are we living in? It’s gut wrenching…what have humans turned into? Scares to death that we are living among perverts who can rape a small baby. Scares to rise our children in this kind of society….this is equally worse as the concentration camps…terribly sad and disturbed.

    • What I do not understand is that what kind of a mental bruise this psychopath is carrying to indulge into this inhuman act? What turns a man into this?

  4. That was powerful. It broke my heart all over again to read what I know these monsters are capable of. What do we do to make sense of the helpless rage we feel at their cruelty? Precious little. What we CAN do, what WE can do or what we can DO is what will make the difference.

    To my mind that is to ensure they somehow fear the consequences of their cruel, callous and indifferent actions. In 2014 will we have the courage to vote in good people who can make a difference or will we be too afraid to vote in the less seasoned but more honest and so help maintain the status quo?

    • Yes, we can always hope and do our best about things that are in our power. The only problem is that while we wait for things to change, more lambs will be slaughtered.

      • Amit, when I wrote the comment on your blog post this morning I didn’t know it had happened again. I just thought you were angry about the way these rapists and the police behave generally. Now, unfortunately, I know. Just heard it over the news. Devastated. An innocent little 5 year old. What was he thinking, the monster.

        • They have caught the psychopath. And the girl seems to be out of danger at present. I hope it does not take years to bring the man to justice.

  5. ‘I am scared to bring a child in this world. I am scared that I will spend the rest of my life worrying for the safety of my kid’. Can you blame now that a subconscious voice in me is so scared and says: ‘What if I have a girl, how will I protect her? Will it ever be enough?’

    • Deepa,
      Two recent incidents that happened in schools very close to my house has changed my perception that it is a crime more tilted towards girls. One of the crime was committed by the driver and helper of a bus and another by a maid. The maid was providing the boy to her clients while the parents were at work.
      The children are not even safe in a school bus. Till what point can we protect them?

  6. This post has come straight from your heart, its a searing, painful post. The last para is very powerfully written. I have nothing else to say, no words of empathy or sympathy .. for I feel exactly the same … sometimes I am amazed at the levels humans (if we can call them that) can fall ! ..

  7. It is sad….sickening situation infact. It just keep happening n there seems to be no stopping. Infact it feels post December, the frequency has increased or more people are reporting, I dunno. But I m scared as if the perverts are mocking all the protests and halla of the December case. And I have already decided in my mind to wind off from Delhi and shift to a safer place when I become a parent but,,,safer place? Does that concept even exist?

    • I think people are reporting the crimes without inhibition now. The true face of our society is now in front of us. The culture we try to save by beating up girls and victimizing them has lead to this utter failure of our system.
      Where are the Khaps now? Don’t they have anything to say to defend the criminal?

  8. This post and your last post are actually somewhat related. India is a sexually repressed country. As long as PDA, kissing, sex etc are a taboo subject and are frowned upon, as long as ‘keep girls separate, boys separate’, ‘guys to earn, girls to run home’ these are our ‘sanskaar’ – this kind of heinous crimes will keep happening.

  9. 😦
    These days I cant even tell my friends here to visit India.. If some on wants to go, I give them warnings to be safe and to be in groups…
    I have not heard this kind of situation in Bangalore, NOT YET, but yes eve teasing is still there! I am sure at the moment Bangalore is far far better place then Delhi as my family and friends lives there and I don’t hear any such complaints, issues but again not yet! But still I am not comfortable to tell my friends here to visit Bangalore and the historical places around it..
    A very weird situation for me..

  10. It hurts. I can’t say any more. And you are right, I am scared for myself and my kids. Sometimes I get paranoid looking at every stranger with apprehension. I want to run away from this country :(. Nothing will change here ever.

    • Isn’t it sad that even if someone is being nice to your kid, you will end up being suspicious. That is the kind of world that we have created for our children.

      • Exactly just too sad but with beasts roaming the streets in the guise of humans what choice do we have?And police behavior is sick beyond limits. Hitting women that way; how dare they be part of law and order machinery?

        • The policemen come from this Indian society where it is considered all right to hit women to put them in their place. And tomorrow if media interview those policemen, they will say that they slapped the girls considering them their daughters. For that, I would personally like to go to them and show my middle finger.

  11. Amit,

    It is so very strange. I just saw a video that made an important point. The speaker said, “Vulnerability is at the core of fear, distrust and shame. But it is also the birthplace of joy and creativity.”
    As for the increasing inhumanity of human beings, I would say this: For every rapist/ molester, there are a dozen (like you) who would protect and nurture.

    For me, that is enough. You know why? Because a righteous man (or woman) is many times stronger than a wrongdoer.

    And that gives me faith.


        • I doubt there is any faith left in police and government. There is no fear in these bastards – they know they will get away with rape and murder. There is no sense of empathy left for fellow citizens. Everything is a joke, hypocrisy!

          • There isn’t. The way police behaved and handled the incident is puke-worthy. They haven’t learnt anything and continue to behave like goondas. They thought that since the victim’s family was poor, the case can be suppressed.
            I don’t know what will change this nation.

            • It is so sad. At such times I try to hide myself in the security of some of the things that are still pure, like music and books. I don’t know how to maintain my sanity. You start doubting yourself!

  12. A 5 year old ! What excuse do they have this time?? Her clothes? Her age? Her being out at night? In the company of boys? Drinking, smoking?

    Goddamit it makes my blood boil over!!

    I am terrified of having kids now…. just makes me want to run for cover!

    • I am sure the Khaps will come up with something.
      Maybe, she should have begged for mercy. Maybe her parents were at fault. Maybe they should have accepted the 2000 Rs and gone home.

          • I bet that babu ass-aram will say that the victim should have called her rapist “bhaiyya” and she would have been safe. I bet this monster had contact with his victim. In India patents never tell their children to stay away from neighbors or strangers. Every one is “uncle Ji” or mama jai, chacha Ji and a whole lot of children are placed in danger by their idiot parents. “Uncle Ji ok namastey karo. Uncle Ji se toffee le lo. Uncle Ji ke saath khelo”.

  13. Well i second the wish to not bring a child in the world. Not worth it. Too many predators in all sorts of sheeps clothing, some open, some hidden… waiting to pounce on unsuspecting prey. Shivers.

    • I was shocked to know that 50% of the children in India are sexually abused. That is half of the children in the country. What a shitty place to raise your kids!

  14. In the morning I read the detail, the details of how badly that little girl is hurt and I just can’t put the images behind me that my mind made on reading that. To be honest, a part of me is scared too apart from being disgusted, very scared.

  15. sickening ! immense rage & fury is what I feel right now. sadistic inhuman action that cannot be even put to words 😦 i feel frightened for my kids and yes everybody is now under a ‘suspicious’ umbrella 😦 What has the world come to !

  16. There is still good in the world Amit. It is only that the evil makes for interesting news. I echo the outrage and do not decry the fact that this shameful incident was brought out into the open – all I am saying is that kindness and goodness do not make headlines and, thus, news paints a far more horrifying picture of the world we live in than is really the case.

    • Sureshji, yes there is good still. But the percentage is going down. From what I had seen 40 years back to now. The moral scales are down. the general public has no respect for anything. In a way it is good that we get to know these outrageous incidents so that people can demand justice. When the news does not reach common man, the criminals enjoy.

    • Suresh,
      I believe you. There is good in the world but then what is the benefit the world is getting out of it. I would have agreed with you if this would have been an isolated case. Please have a look at the links I have provided in response to Dagny’s comment above. There is something terribly wrong in the way we bring up our kids. How can we raise so many similar monsters?

    • The good in the world is still there, but I think evil does have a greater impact-haven’t heard of a single person dying, being tortured, experiencing inhuman treatment – in any act of kindness. I don’t think nirbhaya or any of the children who have been violated would feel wonderful when you tell them “hey, I know that you are going insane with pain but guess what, there are still good people in the world”.

  17. The hurt and sense of loss felt by all those citizens of this country echoes in your words. Yes, it is indeed scary to think of next generation. The ugly faces are coming out one by one, to glare at a nation which prides itself as cradle of civilization/birth of great religions, etc.

    Yesterday I was reading a blogpost , which has glorified our country , as a happy place to live in, instead of an advanced unhappy European country. Ugh…Hope that author had seen the news from India.

    • Really? There are still people who are living under the illusion that ours is a great culture and think that all this is happening because we are aping the west. I think such people are as bad as those criminals. They are doing nothing but shoving the real problem under the carpet.

  18. You have mirrored my thoughts in your post. I feel disgusted when I hear such incidents and feel that animals are better than us in so many ways…they follow the laws of nature and are not evil….

  19. As you have expressed in your poignant and poetic lament, we have forgotten that we are but specks of dust in the cavernous universe. We have turned this country into a proverbial concentration camp where we are both the persecutors and the persecuted. And the methods we are resorting to ravage each other may far exceed in brutality than those adopted by the most abominable of the criminals of the History.

    • And for what? What can be so irreversibly fucked up in a person’s brain to do this? What is the kind of environment he was brought up in? And the terror lies in the fact that this was not a one-off case.

  20. Totally agree with you on all points Amit. When I saw the news all I could think of was “why?why?why? How could he do what he did? that too to a 5yr old??? How do people think of such things and actually do it?” Is the easy access to porn, is it frustration..what is it that makes them do such things??

    I feel my head will explode into a 1000 pieces…what is happening to our country? Why do people join the police force when their primary duty is to protect citizens. I don’t see any positive change happening to our country. I am losing hope every day.

    I always thought of myself as a mentally strong woman. Now I am scared to travel alone…you never know what will happen.

    • TRR,
      There are so many similar cases all over India. See my reply to Dagny. It is horrible.
      There is something wrong in our upbringing. It seems people consider everyone outside their family as objects. We don’t teach compassion and humility.

  21. 😦
    When I saw the news, I wanted it to be a bad dream and I badly wanted to wake up! But, no! its not a nightmare.. it really happened! 😦
    how can people be so cruel and inhuman?! 😦 whats happening?! 😦

  22. I am really sorry Amit. A friend of mine has cancelled tickets to attend weddings in India and says she is scared. Under normal circumstances, I would have scodled her. I felt awful because I could not and did not want to disagree. It is so unsafe out there that I feel I may wrong someone by asking them to be brave when all this shouldn’t even be happening at all 😦 I feel rage and fury, anger and desperation too. Your post makes me feel very very sad.
    I know there is a lot of good in the world. But I never for once imagined that the not-good would be this horrendous 😦

    I want to compliment you for bringing out the emotion so beautifully though your words but it just doesn’t feel right that we feel this way at all 😦

    • Even if there is a lot of good in the world, what good is it for? The presence of good can’t take away what is happening to so many children in this country.
      And I agree, the way all of it was handled by the police was equally sick.

  23. I’ve stopped blogging about these things. It makes me pessimistic and sad and depressed. I hate the world I live in, because of the people I have to share it with. I hate to have my alarm up whenever I step out of home. I hate to think of every other male as prospective molester. I don’t want to, but I still continue to. I am and will be scared for all kids in the world. It makes me hesitate to talk to strange little people because I dont want to put their parents suspect me. I don’t know what I am going to do to protect my child. I’m scared as hell. Heck, I’m scared to travel alone in a train.
    Are we ever going to do anything about things like these? Stricter laws? Better understanding? Respect for others’ space and body?
    Why do we choose to live in denial? Why do we think this culture shit is so important, that it is ok to overlook the ruthlessness it unleashes.
    I don’t know if we ever will get an answer to this. But I continue to feel angry, helpless and more than anything very very scared.

    • Wanderer,
      I think the problem is two fold. Stricter law and law enforcement is one end of the spectrum and will definitely help but there is a very basic flaw in which our society functions. There has to be something crazy about the way men are brought up if we have 100s of such cases all over the country. There is a pattern to see for everyone.
      Yes, it is a scary situation. So many people have been sacrificed and we still fail to learn anything.

  24. I am just too upset to even read about it 😦 RD has been looking at R like a hawk after he read about it…he says he is too scared to even think about bringing another child into this world 😦 I can believe a child as old as my daughter underwent such torture..what is the world coming to 😦

  25. I feel scared and scarred like you. It is just too sad and horrible. I am praying for the little child and her family. I wonder where humanity (if you can still call it humanity) is heading. At the moment, it looks very bleak. 😦

  26. “I am turning into a misanthrope.” So am I Amit, so am I. I have lost all possible hopes on humankind. Can it get any worse than this?

    A girl just like my daughter put through so much of trauma and torture..gosh..words fail me..

  27. I do not have a right word to express how I feel after reading the news. I am disgusted, scared and angry all at the same time. Wonder what the victim blamer’s have to sat this time?

  28. You are right, Amit. As a young couple who wants to have a family, it is disheartening to see the state of affairs. You want your child to have the best of everything. This world is certainly not even close.
    I’ve been travelling and didn’t read about this incident till today. I actually don’t want to know anything about it. I don’t know if being ignorant is a good thing… but I don’t want to know 😦

    • It is better that you try not to know anything about it. It is gruesome.
      The children are safe nowhere. Not in schools. Not in school buses. Not in parks. Not with relatives. Not on roads. Where else to put them other than a cage to make them safe?

  29. “Culture” is a name given to a set of norms that should be followed in order to ensure continuous betterment of society. It is sad to note that while the social and biological needs of people or society have changed, some people like Rohan above are still blaming the so called “Western Culture” for such incidents.It is unfortunate that such people don’t realize that we Indians have our so called “Culture” not from one race, but a mixture of various races.

    • Culture is just a notion to make a society a better place. To consider one culture superior to another is nothing more than considering red a superior colour than white. It doesn’t make sense. No culture works towards making the life of people miserable. The fact remains that a criminal is not bound by a culture.

  30. The incidents , telecasts and repeated arguments in TV in a panel have numbed my mind too. Some say legalising prostitution will resolve the prob ? They say Objectification is issue ? Then wat abt a 5 yr old kid SUBJECTED to brutality ?
    am also numb Like U

    • I don’t think legalizing prostitution will solve it. When you have women available so readily on roads, who will take the pains to go to a brothel. Making the society more educated might solve it. But then look at the developed nations. They too are struggling with the same problem.
      I think the only thing that might stop it is the fear of swift justice.

  31. I agree with everything you have written and feel this too. As far as making excuses for such crimes is concerned (like the influence of western culture, or porn or GOK what), it is just another way of shifting the blame on to the victim, and justifying the perpetrator. Selective female foeticide, female infanticide and dowry murders are definitely not western influence. And these 5 years I have been abroad, I have never faced or witnessed any kind of “eve teasing” except once, that was from an Indian/ Pak guy in the Indian area in North Paris.

    • Exactly,
      If it is a cultural thing that there are no bigger criminals than Indians. We do not have to look out for western influences.
      We forget we live in a country where we murder girls in the womb.

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