Monsoon is such a cheerful season in India. We might say that it is especially auspicious for farmers who spend half of their lives looking at the sky like wolves during a full moon and develop serious neck ailments in the process but monsoon holds a special place in the hearts of city folks too who are oblivious of farmer suicides, droughts and food grain wastage and keep wondering why the middle class is in a perpetual state of inflation.
The slick dwellers of NCR have a special place for monsoon in their hearts. If you compare Delhi, Noida and Gurgaon, then Gurgaon wins hands-on just for the sheer brilliance of the way monsoon water is utilized for the entertainment of the people living and working here. Ever since I have witnessed the first downpour here, I am all praise for the Gurgaon administration for developing such unique ways to keep the mentally and emotionally bruised citizens happy.
Waterfalls and Free Car wash
Now if you have been to Gurgaon, you will know that NH 8 to Jaipur passes through it and most of it is elevated. So a lot of IT and non-IT slaves and masters pass under the highway to reach their camps. Any short-sighted administration would have put holes on either side of the highway and put pipes to the ground and into the drains so that any rainwater collecting on the highway can be drained out but Gurgaon administration are smart thinkers. We do have holes here but no pipelines. So when it rains, we see serene, multiple, equidistant waterfalls pouring gallons of water on the worker bees trying to pass below it. It is such a beautiful sight that you would be tempted to run under the waterfalls with a Liril soap in your hand. And it acts as a car wash as well. If you align your car in the correct position, you could pass it under a number of waterfalls and get it cleaned free of cost.
River Rafting
You can very easily come to the conclusion that there are no drains in Gurgaon by the near flood like situation after a five minute downpour. You will see wild rivers running on the roads trying to find a hole to get into and failing miserably. The situation is so overwhelming that it can give Rishikesh a run for its money for water sports. You can raft your way to your office, you could swim and be healthy or you could splash water on each other and sing Tip-tip-barsa-paani. Now what better start of the day?
Lovely Beaches
You can buy beach recliners and relax on any of the footpaths (if they are not already taken up by auto-rickshaws, cars or trucks) in a soothing man made beach simulator. As water is clogged in heaps on both sides of the roads, any vehicle which passes by will create artificial ripples similar to waves lapping the shore. You can chai-chapa-chai-chapak-chai with your loved one as the waves touch your feet and give you a romantic ambience. Please ignore the vehicular smoke and occasional mud splashes on your face and do not expect a starfish or sea-shells to wash ashore. There is a limit to which the Gurgaon administration can be imaginative.
Canoe and picnics
Now if you are one of the very few lucky ones who have purchased a ground floor flat in Gurgaon, you can enjoy a lake side family picnic right in your drawing room after it is flooded with rain water. You can buy a canoe for your kid that he can row around as you play cards with your wife on the floating sofa and eat sandwiches. You can skip pebbles on the lake, catch earthworms and play collect-cans-and wrappers (the person who collects the maximum amount of garbage floating in your house with the rainwater wins). After this, you can go and stand under the highway and take a bath under the waterfall.
Lessons in Patience
If you stand next to a road in Gurgaon and scream ‘rain’ four times, there will be a traffic jam in seconds. The Gurgaon administration has tactfully created very narrow roads all over the city so that they could conduct their own free of cost ‘art of living’ programme. A few years back, I got stuck in such a jam for seven hours – waterless and appleless. It was such a profound lesson in patience that I thank the administration of Gurgaon till date with humble tears in my eyes. You realise how important this lesson is when you reach your office and are surrounded by morons.
It has been such an enriching and entertaining experience working in Gurgaon. There are very few cities in the world where rain water evaporates instead of getting drained. There are very few cities who look after their citizens so passionately and with such care. I haven’t talked about the electricity situation here which is another programme under ‘art of living’ OR the fact that a lot of people go to malls to brush their teeth and take a bath because there is no water in their house. I am specially covering monsoon here.
And lo! As I finish this post, the heavy downpour has started again. Time to go and enjoy a few of the attractions!
Mashed Musings 
Never been to Gurgaon but the story is not very different from other Indian cities.
Nice post, Can’t stop smiling. Cheers! 🙂
Thanks ACS. 🙂
I am sure no city in India have such beautiful waterfalls. It will break my heart if this is not something we find only in Gurgaon. 😦
hahahha! you pretty much described Bombay eh?
You have waterfalls there? Like equally spaced below the highway ones? 😦
I was going to say exactly that RM. He described Bombay. Yes, we have waterfalls here.
Oh! That’s too bad!
rofl!!! do you stay in Gurgaon!! once i got stuck within..note-.. within my office campus DLF Cyber City for 3 hours on a rainy day. Husband missed his flight!!..
You know actually i some times feel that all the organizations who can, as in wherever nature of job allows, should strictky start following WFH. We waste a lot of time and energy navigating our way through traffic to reach office.
God NO! I don’t live in Gurgaon! I would have jumped off a building if that was the case.
I think I hold some kind of a world record of being stuck in a jam for 7 hours. I almost died of hunger that day.
Yes, WFH is a very good alternative but don’t you think we are too lazy for that?
he he..:) hmm see if there is a deadline for work, and yours is the throat that will get caught in case of slippages, no one can afford to be lazy….it saves so much energy and time….I have tried it for some time, it also improves the skin texture..:) no UV rays, no fear of dhool mitti……good skin and hair..:D
Yeah! The deadly deadline. THAT always work.
And I haven’t thought about it from my twacha’s point of view. Well, yes you are right. If for nothing else, I support WFH for glowing skin. 🙂
AWESOME one. Lifts the spirits 😉 seeing the possibilities
What possibilities? Its all tried and tested, except the beach one because I couldn’t find a place to keep my recliner. 😉
Am in gurgaon so wud love to read the post on electricity now 😀 😀 waiting……..
Haha! I think you will be in a better position to write that post. I will have second hand information. But yes, my friends living here had horror stories to tell. The going-to-mall-to-brush incident is true.
The government has to be really stupid to create cities without infrastructure.
hehe all these possssitive posssibilities amit 😉 By the way u dint mention the special stench u can njoy on those special occasions 😉 I once wrote some experience in delhi ! well cover ur nose and read this if u hav time – http://afshan-shaik.blogspot.in/2012/06/of-rancid-acid-superhit-shit-and-much.html
As far as stench goes, you cannot beat the sweaty summers and moist monsoon stench which comes from a chok-a-block compartment of Delhi metro. I sometimes wish there was no airconditioner and Metro had open windows. Read your post. 🙂
The Blackout which happened recently reminded me of Die Hard 4. It was eerily similar.
havent written a specific post yet. but there r many ramblings – funny /not so funny i dumped on my FB wall…….but ur post motivates me to write one 😀 the recent blaCK OUT In north india is one hell of experience. I almost felt bat man will visit when it was blindingly black but he didnt 😦
Wait were you talking about Bangalore???
Now come on! I was so happy that I am part of a unique phenomenon!
Haha …. good one! I remember taking 4 hours to reach office during the monsoons, when I was working in Gurgaon…horrors!
You must be relieved that you do not work here anymore. I am dying to get out of this hellhole.
😆
Never been to Gurgaon in any season. Now I know what to expect during monsoon.
7 hours appleless and waterless? 😦
Visha, when you pass NH8, you will see swanky offices on both sides of the highway. They look really great from a distance. The problem starts when you try to reach them after getting off the highway. It is a nightmare I live every day.
Yes, 7 hours. I almost crawled to the refrigerator and ate ice-cream with my bare hands when I reached home.
It is such a beautiful sight that you would be tempted to run under the waterfalls with a Liril soap in your hand.
ROFL! 😀 I actually imagined that!!
Free car washes eh? As if the government didn’t have any enough ideas already! U shud patent these ideas… else someone is likely to steal them 😛
Now if you are one of the very few lucky ones who have purchased a ground floor flat in Gurgaon, you can enjoy a lake side family picnic right in your drawing room after it is flooded with rain water.
Reminds me of Mumbai rather. We have a ground floor flat, but this time the rains have not been so much so we are saved. Else we’d have our swimming pool – INSIDE our apartment.
In fact, you should do a special post on the electricity condition in Gurgaon. 😛 Since u are so well-experienced in it!
Yes, yes I should patent them. Maybe I should present a report to the Gurgaon Administration. They will start charging for a bath under the waterfall and carwash.
Thankfully, I have never lived in a swimming pool. Not yet. My parents have always been against buying a ground floor flat so we are saved.
Electricity, eh? Well, let me think about it. 😛
We didn’t buy one either…we aren’t that stupid. 😛 We are renting it out. Moving out soon anyway! 😀
Yay! That is very smart! 😀
I was just looking around your blog. Where is that post on “wall of disgrace”? Did u make it private or something by any chance?
No its not private. Look at the links in the right under Recent Posts.
Hello Amit,
ROFL post!!
Hello Chaitali.
Thanks for liking the post. 🙂
This is a serious issue, but you had me rolling with laughter. 🙂
The situation all over India is pretty much the same in monsoon. 🙂
But why? Why? Why are we so incredibly stupid that we cannot even dig a hole properly and keep it clean? How difficult can it be and how lazy and incompetent the person will be who cannot even do that?
Just when I was feeling nostalgic and dreaming of returning to India for good, your post made me realise how fortunate I am to be staying away 🙂
Stay where you are. That will be the best decision of your life. 🙂
This is such a lol post. I’m giggling 😛 I know sarcastic and all, but I tried to actually imagine all of it. 😀 Post the electricity post please.
Thanks Wanderer.
Did you imagine me hungry and thirsty for 7 hours sitting in a godforsaken bus? THat actually happened and I hope you didn’t LOL at that. 😛
ha ha :D. I am thanking God I don’t live in Gurgaon or I would have ended up wading the river all by myself.
It’s not that bad! You can always buy a canoe. 🙂
yeah right and where would I park it after that? on the top of my building 😛
You can tie it to the gate of the building. Imagine you are living in Venice. That is how people do it there.
ha ha 🙂 good one.
I love the sarcasm in your post! Bhagwaan jaane whats up with our country. I’ll never come back 😦
Thanks Nisha. 🙂
We the people – that is what is wrong with this country.
And good decision.
LOL!!! I miss all that!! Here, when it rains, the water rushes into the drains in a very orderly manner!!! 😛
Loved this post! reminds me of the rains in Bangalore and getting stuck in traffic! 😀
You miss what?!? Please tell me you are joking! 🙂
*assuming the comment to be sarcastic*
Thanks for liking the post. 🙂
noo! 😐
Im serious… I miss the “organised” chaos the rains bring Bangalore!! 😀
sigh… Im just homesick mostly! 😛
When you come back here, you will crave to go back to the real organised world. 🙂
LOL!!
never knew that monsoon was so bad at Gurgoan..
in Chennai,rainfall rate is low but still I get to see jammed vehicles,floating cars and unmanageable crowd
Chennai is much better than Gurgaon. I have lived there and it gets its fair share of lakes and rivers in Monsoon but what happens in Gurgaon is incredibly unbelievable. You really have to experience it once to attain nirvana.
hahaha, that’s an awesome post!!! i thought Gurgaon is now a well-planned city after all the developments. people in other parts of the country are more familiar with the name Gurgaon than Delhi. when i visited Gurgaon a few decades ago, it was still a village and now see… everyone is going gaga over the facilities it is providing to it’s residents; electricity, water, infrastructure :D. waiting for that electricity post.
i need to write a similar post on my town.
Thanks Deb. 🙂
Oh yes! It is a well planned city. Vertically.
And it is still a village. Actually it has converted into a slum. A five star slum.
Please do! Would love to read it. 🙂
I also took a lot of pictures just a few days back, just a few hours of rain and the roads had become water canals!!
Thankfully, the Monsoon has been merciful and hasn’t unleashed its full attack on NCR. I pray to the Monsoon gods everyday not to rain before I leave office. They have been very kind till now.
Some days back, it rained very heavily in the morning and the scene was deplorable. Many people who get up at 6 AM to catch office buses came to office at around 12 because of the jam.
Even without rains, the place is quite monstrous. Stand in the lane behind the Ship building and the buildings assume almost a devilish avatar, ready to gulp you down alive. No? Where are the open spaces? where is the drainage system? where is the planning? Sympathies…for you work in Gurgaon! but congratulations you have a positive mind, funny bone and fantastic writing skills 🙂
Yes, I agree. It is. I remember reading an article about the amount of planning which went into Gurgaon. The administration came up with a lame – We did not expect so much growth – excuse. I have always wondered what that means. They gave office spaces to multinatinal companies to make ten story complexes which will house 5000 people and did not bother to have sufficiently wide roads and parkings and drainage systems? What were they expecting would come up in the land which companies were buying? Cowsheds? Or brick manufacturing units?
A two year old can have a far better vision than the idiots who rule us.
Ha absolutely. A horror story, it is a classic case of how not to build a city. But it does not highlight the idiocy of the rulers but of those who let them rule. Gurgaon anyway has too many rulers – HUDA, the builders (primarily DLF) and and municipal corp. And they are jointly having a big party and simply encashing the fact that in this largest democracy no one will ever speak up or raise a question.
In India, elections have always been an exercise to choose the lesser thug. Eventually, whoever we choose, we are screwed. I think people do speak up. A few days back there was a huge mob on roads to protest against the power situation and they beat up a few workers at the substations as well. But there are short term measures.
Absolutely. Gurgaon can go in the books as a case study of how not to build a city.
Gurgaon, Chennai – potato, potahto
Archie, I have lived in Chennai for 2 years but I haven’t seen rivers flowing on roads. You have to see to believe what is happening here.
Amit, I’ve lived in Chennai all my life. Just two years back there was 6ft of water right in front of our house in Alwarthirunagar. It took almost 3 weeks to come to a navigable height. So, Chennai is a huge city and half our city swims during the Monsoon 😦
Point taken and I take my words back. 🙂 6Ft? You guys must be having scuba diving gear then? That is so cool!
What we do have is lots of mosquito coils, Laxman-Rekha, candles, dry food and board games 🙂
Amit take a bow 🙂 Awesome post!
You know I always wanted to live in bigger cities in Bombay, Delhi or any other so called big city. But after reading your post and reading newspaper reports about these big cities, I think I am better off where I am now. Only problem with the place where I stay is the ‘P’ words are prohibited here that is “pub” and “parties”!!!
If the Gurgoan administration ever read this, all the above mentioned services maybe taxable 🙂
Thanks metherebel.
Well, we have positives and negatives for everything. Sometimes I like living in NCR but it is mostly a pain in the ass. There is a certain amount of freedom which you do not get in small towns but it comes at a price of choked spaces and bad infrastructure. Sometimes I feel I should go and live on a hill and open a small shop there. I prefer mountains to people.
These services are already taxable. They are taxing on our lives. 🙂
Hmmm… we are a millennium city and new millennial is all about such troubles hee hee
well which part of Gurgaon is it?
Thanks for your comment Ekta.
Well, all the parts! I work in Udyog Vihar and it is the worst of the lot.
Do not worry…Did I not tell you that we work and stay in millenium city- India’ New York…So thats what huda believes too…As member or citizen of such esteemed place where prices are above roof and facilities are all down till pataal…we must all use chartered flights to commute…right Mr harayana ministers?
The whole city will collapse if they do not take measures now.
The other day I was telling my manager that they should provide us pick and drop facility by helicoptors if they want everything to be delivered on time. 🙂
Absolutely Hilarious!
Thanks Sam.
Came from Ihm’s blog.! I died laughing while reading this.! Very good sense of humour.! 😛 Gurgaopn was one of those unplanned cities that mushroomed in the ncr map due to the hastiness of the greedy authorities.! River rafting and canoe and picnics was excellent.! would follow you for some doss of laughter.!
Thanks Rinzu and welcome here. 🙂
And lets raise a toast to many more such unplanned cities sprouting up in the coming years!
Do you have a blog? I will advice you to give your blog’s link instead of the link of your FB account when you leave a message. 🙂 It is more secure that way.
You are so good that you are meant to be shared. I meant your “wicked sense of humour”. I also meant Twitter and facebook 😉
So much rainwater yet the water table promises to disappear in just ten years!
Strange, isn’t it?
I almost fainted when I read your first line. Thanks for all the clarifications and for sharing me. 🙂
That is because the rainwater never reaches the ground. We let it evaporate. I think this is the right time to run away from Gurgaon unless you are happy to bath under a community tanker (with 50 more people) ten years from now.
How delightful! As a Gurgaanwaan-ite, I totally agree with your assessment! Except for one point – surely, you don’t think we need to yell ‘Rain’ 4 times to cause a traffic jam? I think it is easier to cause one than to talaq one’s wife!
I wrote a piece on my blog a couple of months ago expecting that the monsoon was going to fail us – I think you might enjoy it!
http://reekycoleslaw.com/?p=368
PS – I have Purba Ray to thank for introducing me to your blog!
Thanks Rickie and welcome here. 🙂
Yes, you do not need to yell it four times. You can also upturn a glass of water on the road and that will do.
And I will definitely read your piece.
Loved it…… the best part is the liril bath in the waterfall….. am rushing to gurgaon now 🙂
Thanks Aabha and do not forget to take Liril with you. 🙂
City planning at its best:) Gurgaon is the model torch bearer for India !!!
We really need to extinguish this torch before it carves out more such beautiful cities.
Hilarious piece of writing & so true. I loled at so many places. good one
Thanks Smita. 🙂
I loved the river rafting bit :D. Brilliant stuff I say, Mr. Musings!
Thanks Kartikay. Try it sometime. You will love it. 🙂
Good write up mate…really enjoyed reading it.
Looking forward to read your water and electricity experience.
Thanks. 🙂 I am glad.
I am amazed.I live in Gurgaon and I will say it is a lot of exaggeration.
Mr. Chowla,
Thank you for stating the obvious. I was beginning to worry that everyone was taking me too seriously.
This one had me chuckling all through 🙂 What fertile imagination! I do think you should contact the administration and get some of the ideas patented. Why let such wonderful ideas go waste, hmmm?
Thanks Zephyr. If I get these idea patented, the remaining hope that things might get better will be dead and they will start charging for these activities as well. 🙂 Imaging being charged to eat a sandwich on a floating sofa in your own house!
This brings back childhood memories..
Mumbai has this annual flooding when the delhi newscrew generally
flock to milan subway… when it rains nonstop for 3 days. As kids we had loads of fun! we would choke terrace drains to make mini swimming pools or would take my friends dingy boat out and go rafting in the flood water .
It was an annual ritual and water sometimes rose to 4 feet above ground ,
I have seen a whole maruti car get submerged remember people making illusion photos by sitting on top of cars.
Problem is post the british era i wonder if anyone bothered to plan towns and cities properly… and more importantly follow up on them.
And what can you expect from the likes of maya, mulayam and sonia their crony jps and dlfs and unitechs?
In mumbai builders routinely line up at the doors of ministers at mantralaya to get their plans approved … the situation may not be any different there.
yesterday, my auto rickshaw got badly struck in a big pool of water and unfortunately no one came to rescue.Pathetic place this Gurgaon is. We spend 1.45 hours on traffic to cover a distance of 6 kms in Gurgaon…courtesy NH8 and Iffco chowk!
I know. From the last three days I am reaching home at 9.30 after leaving the office at 6. I am living in a nightmare and someone needs to put my hand on a burning candle to wake me up.
I remember that it used to rain more when we were kids. I too have seen cars getting submerged in water. Infact I used to sit by the window and see that happen. I remember thigh deep water near the stair of my house.
Thankfully, Gods have been merciful and it doesn’t rain that much now otherwise we would have drowned in the floods that unplanned cities have bestowed upon us.
Yes, I agree, its all a mess and we should be thankful that we are still alive.
ok, let me start from basics. Just move outside Gurgaon 50 or say 100 Km beyond radius, to some small town in Haryana or the great UP. What you would see that the conditions are 100 times worst than Gurgaon. Ask the people living in those areas.. for them Gurgaon conditions are dreamland. Do you that in even a good city in UP has 10-12 power cut norm, flooding roads all 12 months (how come 12 months when we have rainy season fro 4 months? sewage water!! ), law & order so pathetic that daytime murders happening with police so corrupt that no crime recorded & media dormant/not present (in Delhi/NCR, even a death of dog is reported in media as breaking news because all media headquarters are concentrated with broadcasting vans moving all around) etc. etc.
I always see Delhi/NCR people/media cribbing about small things when for the 90% population in same country yearns for the living conditions present in Delhi/NCR. I have been seeing articles in Delhi/NCR newspapers for several years that businessmen are threatening moving business to other parts due to pathetic power situation. none has moved due to this reason.
It’s high time that Delhi/NCR people realize this fact and get real. Its India after all!!
(My comment may be not adhering you site’s posting guidelines, but I cannot resist writing after I stumbled upon this article by chance.)
Thanks for your comment.
Let me start from the basics too. Going by your standards of defining ‘suffering’, let me tell you that the people in small towns should be thankful that they have a house to live in and at least 4 hours of power supply. Think of all the people who live on roads and under plastic sheets. At least people in small towns are better off than them and should not crib.
You can always find a worse example of suffering in the world but that does not mean that the less-worse one does not count. I think I am pretty much entitled to protest if I have to sit in a bus for 7 hours in a jam in the worst planned city in the world.
And lets not compare sufferings and put a degree to it because suffering is subjective.