Tashan – Movie Review

When you start believing that life can’t get worst, it suddenly does.

This is what how an experience like Tashan can be summed up after watching movies like Race and U Me Aur Hum. Race at least had a constant oomph factor oozing out of each frame and an over-doze of twists and turns to make it watchable. Tashan looks like a mockery of the Indian audience, if nothing else. It made me believe that the Indian directors take me as a chimpanzee who will watch anything shown to him with great amazement and awe.

The movie revolves around four characters – Jimmy (Saif Ali Khan) who is a call centre executive and who learns to fire/dodge bullets as easily as someone learns to brush, Pooja (Kareena Kapoor) who works for Bhaiyyaji and who breaks into a sizzling hot number in a bikini just before submerging her father’s ashes in water, Bachchan Pandey (Akshay Kumar) who is a small time gangster and completely incapable of saying I love you to his lady love and finally Bhaiyyaji (Anil Kapoor) who is a notorious gangster hellbent on learning English and kills people with any sports equipment he can lay his hands on.

Tashan is an onion of problems. You can peel off layers and layers of them. Jimmy is so naive that he can’t make out that something is wrong when he sees a bag full of money fall off Pooja’s hands. Bhaiyyaji is one of the most irritating characters in the history of Indian Cinema and Anil Kapoor could have been nominated for the Indian Razzies, if they could have existed. Pooja is called a “bitch” so many times in the movie that Kareena’s grandchildren would be really embarrassed if they ever happen to watch the movie.

Tashan does not have a story. It seems like a rip off from Roop Ki Rani Choron Ka Raja, specially in the climax. And, oh yes, you would have to be really strong to bear the climax. Its the ultimate patience test ever created by Bollywood. The fight sequences are hilarious as you would have never seen heroes dodge so many bullets or jumping like a monkey on walls or ending up riding a water scooter in a gutter(kind of). Its unbelievable and sheer torture. Its amazing how our stars agree to do such scenes.

I would have rated the movie 1 out of five, but I would add another 0.5 for Kareena who is looking sizzling hot in all the scenes. Your heart would definitely skip a beat while watching her dance in “Chaliya” and “Dil Haara”. This 0.5 addition to the rating is also because of the comic scenes between Saif, Akshay and Kareena. Atleast they managed to make the audience laugh, even if it was ephemeral. And, yes, if you are going to watch the movie to see the latest hot pair of Bollywood in action, then forget it. Kareena is paired opposite Akshay and her love story with Saif ends in a blink in the first half.

An appeal to the director Vijay Krishna Acharya – Please come out of the mindset that Indian audience can’t digest a movie without over the top comic characters (like Anil’s) or fight sequences straight out of Marvel comic strips or without the thin waistline of the heroine on display. We are tired of giving the proof time and again, that we are ready for sensible and serious cinema.

One last word – After watching Tashan, I believe that Race should be sent for the Oscars.

Rating – 1.5/5

Director – Vijay Krishna Acharya

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