The Bisexual Tag

Ever since this tag has hit the blogging circuit, people are going crazy. You can see the samples here, here, here, here, phew!! here and here. Its actually not a “Bisexual” Tag, but I have turned it into one. What’s the harm in exploiting the situation to its fullest? 😉

So, for this tag, I am supposed to turn into a woman and list all the men who might make me drool all over my keyboard. Believe me, this was as simple as Rakhi Sawant getting married to Tom Cruise! Urghhh! Just the thought sends shivers up my spine!

Tom cruise rakhi

Anyways, so when I am supposed to undergo the blasphemous transformation(in my mind, that is), why not list all the women and men in the world whom I find absolutely good looking? I was supposed to list 5 of them, but I really can’t make such a short list. So here is the long list. Feast on it! 😛

WOMEN

Audrey Hepburn

AUDREY HEPBURN

I first saw her in Roman Holiday and that is when I fell in love with her. She is THE star. She has worked in the biggest blockbusters of her times and had the magic, the aura required for a great actress. Watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s, My Fair Lady and Sabrina and you will know.

Madhuri Dixit

Madhuri Dixit

I don’t remember any other actress who had been so popular and respected in the  1990s and this decade as her. She is what I call an Electric Beauty. The smile, the “ada”, the dance…I went completely bonkers when I saw Devdas. I saw the movie thrice in the theatre just for her. Just to see her dance to “Maar Daala” and “Kaahe Chede”. Uff!!! Maar Daala!

Julia Roberts

Julia Roberts

My Best Friend’s wedding has been an all time favorite followed by Pretty Woman and Erin Brokovich. Julia has this carefree attitude which makes her beautiful. She has this dazzling smile and a very cute throaty laughter.

Aishwarya Rai

Aishwarya Rai

Aishwarya Rai is undoubtedly the most beautiful Indian Actress ever. Whatever people say about her acting skills, I have always felt that she is pretty good. She has definitely improved. I also don’t understand what’s plastic about her. She comes across as a very genuine person.

Penelope Cruz

Penelope Cruz

The Sultry beauty. I haven’t seen much of her movies except Vanilla Sky, Gothika and Vicky Cristina Barcelona. She was particularly good in the last one for which she picked the Oscar this year.

Madhubala

madhubala

The Eternal beauty of the Black and White era. Here is an interesting fact about her from Wiki : In the early 1950s as Madhubala became one of the most sought-after actresses in India, she also attracted interest from Hollywood. She appeared in many American magazines such asTheatre Arts. In their August 1952 issue, Madhubala was featured in an extensive article with a full page photo. The piece was entitled: The Biggest Star in the World (And She’s Not in Beverly Hills). It presented the actress as a mysterious and ethereal woman of mythical beauty with a legion of fans.

Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep

An Enigmatic beauty. She is one actress who has fully explored a wide spectrum of roles and I specially liked her in Sophie’s Choice, Out of Africa, The Bridges of Madison County and Doubt. From wiki : Streep has received 15 Academy Award nominations and 23 Golden Globe nominations (winning six), more than any other person in film history.

Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston

She is my favorite F.R.I.E.N.D.S character. She is a woman whom I can define as cute and sexy at the same time. From wiki : When F.R.I.E.N.D.S was aired, her hairstyle at the time, which became known as the “Rachel”, was widely copied.Aniston received a salary of one million dollars per episode for the last two seasons ofFriends, as well as five Emmy nominations. According to the Guinness World Book of Records (2005), Aniston (along with her female costars) became the highest paid TV actress of all time with her $1 million-per-episode paycheck for the tenth season of Friends.

Sarah Jessica Parker

Sarah Jessica Parker

I love her eyes and her voice. She skyrocketed to fame with her role of Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. I saw her for the first time in a movie named The Family Stone( This is one movie which can be definitely made into a Bollywood blockbuster).

Megan Fox

Megan Fox

She looks like a beautiful wax doll and has this amazing figure. 🙂 From wiki : Fox’s breakout role was playing Mikaela Banes, Shia Labeouf‘s character’s love interest in the 2007 blockbuster film Transformers, a role for which Fox won and was nominated for various Teen Choice Awards.

Katrina Kaif

Katrina Kaif

Our Indian competition to the Hollywood babes. 🙂 No matter how bad her acting crying skills are, she is a show stealer. ‘Teri Oor’ was one song which extracted a collective sigh from the male fraternity. Watching her dance in front of the Pyramids of Egypt clad in a saree was too much for us!

Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett

She is the Best Actress in Hollywood right now. A beautiful woman and a charming personality.  She rose to fame with Shekhar Kapur’s Elizabeth, followed by great movies like The Aviator, Babel, Notes on a Scandal, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

MEN

Now comes the difficult part. I had to litrally scratch them out!

Brad Pitt

brad pitt

An extremely extremely handsome man. I started liking him as an actor after Troy and Babel. I think he was extraordinary in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Hrithik Roshan

Hrithik Roshan

One of the most handsome Indian Actors, Hrithik’s debut will always be remembered in the history of Indian Cinema. He is the only actor besides Rishi Kapoor who took the Best Actor and the Best Debut trophy in the same year. Jodhaa Akbar could have turned into a disaster if he would not have played the lead.

Enrique Iglesias

Enrique Iglesias

He has the perfectly lean body. Not too muscular, not too pulpy, just perfect. His face has a certain innocence which is quite well exploited in all his songs.  Of all his song videos, I think Rhythm Divine is the best.

Shah Rukh Khan

Shah Rukh Khan

Yeah! I know quite a lot of you don’t like him because of his a-a-a-acting skills but that can’t take away the charisma from the man. I have always believed that 20 years down the line, our generation will be known as the Shah Rukh Era generation, very similar to how we refer to our parent’s generation as the Amitabh Bachchan era generation. Undoubtedly, he has given the biggest blockbusters in the past 20 years and he can do wonders with the right role. Examples : Swades, Chak De India and Dil Se.

Tom Cruise

tom cruise

Another guy with the right mix of personality and good looks. I specially liked him in Top Gun, Rain Man, Mission: Impossible, Jerry Maguire and Minority Report.

Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson

What eyes! And what smile! A fantastic director who gave us movies like Braveheart, The Passion of the Christ and Apocalypto.

Shahid Kapoor

Shahid Kapoor

He is amongst a very few talented actors we have in our industry right now. Jab We Met was definitely his breakthrough movie. I really wish he had won some awards that year. Do you know that he was a background dancer in the song – ‘Kahi aag lage’ in Taal?

Chris Evans

Chris Evans

Chris is best known for his work in the movie Fantastic Four as the Human Torch for which he was also nominated in the Teen Choice Award. I handsome upcoming actor.

Akshay Kumar

Akshay Kumar

Its almost 20 years now and this man has no sign of fatigue. Started as an action hero, he has given some huge hits in the past few years. A very handsome man with a croocked smile. 🙂

Amit Sharma

What!?! Stop laughing!! Haven’t you heard of the phrase – Love thyself!? How can I expect someone else to like me if I don’t like myself? 😛

Thats it folks! Clean up your keyboards now!

The Chosen One

Before you jump to the conclusion that its a personal(*yawn*) rant post or a post-Matrix burst out or a spiritual healing session, then relax. Its just about apun ka Bollywood. So sit back and enjoy the ride. 🙂 

I have been quite surprised by this recurring phenomenon in Movies. Have you ever noticed that when ever a new pair is introduced in Bollywood, one of them goes ahead and reach the heights of stardom while the other one is lost into oblivion? What decides this tilt of fate cannot be pointed out and this phenomenon happens irrespective of whether the launchpad was a success or a failure. Only one out of the pair is the chosen one.

You haven’t noticed it? Let me give you some examples then.

1. Kajol & Kamal Sada”nah”

Who got Lucky – Kajol. The year was 1992 when Rahul Rawail directed Bekhudi was released. The movie was one big flop but it triggered the movie career of two budding actors. Kajol went ahead to sign Baazigar while we all know what happened to Kamal Sadana. He appeared in a few other movies like Rang before he vanished from the big screen. Kajol in the other hand went ahead and made history in the Indian Cinema. With an exception of a few girls who don’t like any actress, I haven’t come across any Indian who don’t like Kajol. She is one of the very few actresses who have given hits even after getting married. So, Kamal was lucky for Kajol but Kajol ended up being jinxed for the poor guy. 🙂

 

2. Manisha Koirala & Vivek “Miss”ran

Who got Lucky – Manisha. Subhash Ghai’s Magnum Opus Saudagar, introduced two new stars – Manisha and Vivek Mushran. The movie which was adorned with Raj Kumar, Dilip Kumar and some great music(remember ILU ILU? Doesn’t it sound really stupid now? 🙂 ), was a huge blockbuster. After a few years, Vivek ended up with Fruti and Sonpari on the idiot box while Manisha went ahead and did some awesome movies like 1942 A Love Story, Bombay, Akele Hum Akele Tum, Khamoshi, Gupt and Dil se.

 

3. Ajay Devgan & Mad”who?”

Who got lucky – Ajay. Phool aur Kaante, directed by Sandesh Kohli, was released in 1991. It was an instant hit and was noted for its melodious music(remember Dheere Dheere pyar ko?) by Nadeem Shravan. Ajay Devgan went ahead with a movie career which is still going very strong and is filled with numerous awards and honours. His last notable movie this year was Halla Bol. He married Kajol in 1999. Madhoo on the other hand gave one flop after another and was extinguished after some time. Her last two notable roles after the blockbuster launchpad were Roja and Diljale.

 

4. Akshay Khanna & Anjala Z”aver(i)-age”

Who got lucky – Akshay. Himalaya Putra(released in 1997) was the perfect gift from Vinod Khanna to his son, which went terribly bad. The movie, directed by Pankaj Parashar failed at the box office. Akshay’s second movie was Border which was a blockbuster and gave him the well needed respite. After that there was no looking back and Akshay worked in some big blockbusters like Taal, Dil Chahta Hai, Humraaz and Race. Although his career have had a lot many ups and downs, he is considered as the most talented actor in the present lot. Anjala, well, err, I don’t remember her last movie. 😐 Last I remember, her “worth remembering” role was in Pyar Kiya to Darna Kya in which she was seen in a supporting role.

 

5. Karishma Kapoor and Har-“ishhhh”

Who got lucky – Karishma. Karishma Kapoor was introduced along with newcomer Harish in the 1991 movie Prem Qaidi. The movie didn’t work and Karishma was criticized for her looks. She looked repulsive with those disheveled hair and bushy eyebrows which she shed(the eyebrows that is) 5 years later in Raja Hindustani which incidentally moved her in the big league of stars. And what a star! Numerable nominations, awards and huge blockbusters came her way. She was known for her comedy movies with Govinda as well as the offbeat movies like Fiza and Zubeidaa. Harish on the other hand ended up burdened up with a string of flops and was seen as a sidekick in a few Govinda starrers like Aunty No. 1 and Coolie No. 1 before he vanished.

 

6. Salman Khan and “Bhag-gai-stree”(Bhagyashree)

Who got lucky – Salman. Although Maine Pyar Kiya was not Salman’s first movie as an actor. He had acted earlier in Biwi Ho to Aisi(a Rekha and Farooq Shaikh starrer) but MPK was his first movie as a hero. The movie came at a time when love stories were out of fashion and defined the way Hindi movies were made in the next decade. The movie was blessed with evergreen songs which all of us still listen to even after 20 years. I don’t think I need to elaborate on Salman but Bhagyashree, well, her career nosedived like a helicopter out of fuel. She started promoting her husband as a hero and did some insignificant movies with him, carrying the “Himalayan” albatross around her neck and was last seen in some Sari advertisement.

 

7. Hrithik Roshan and A”miss”a

Who got lucky – Hrithik. The launch with every actor dreams of, Rakesh Roshan gave it to his son on a platter. Kaho Na Pyar Hai was the biggest blockbuster of 2000 and introduced Amisha Patel starring opposite to Hrithik. Initially Kareena Kapoor was supposed to play the role and shooting too had started when she was suddenly dropped. Amisha gave another blockbuster(Gadar) next year but her career is on a decline since then. She was last seen in cameo roles in Bhool Bhulaiyaa and Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic. Hrithik on the other hand, has been churning blockbusters after an initial turbulence which followed his debut. He is the only actor after Rishi Kapoor who won the Filmfare for the Best Actor in his Debut Movie.

I cannot think of any more examples right now, but there must be many more. Of course there are exceptions to this rule. There are pairs which have been successful, like Aamir KhanJuhi Chawla(who were introduced in Qayamat se Qayamat tak) and Rishi KapoorDimple Kapadia(introduced in Bobby) and there are pairs like Anu Agarwal-Rahul Roy(introduced in Ashiqui) in which both the actors failed, but most of the pairs go the “Chosen one” way.

I wonder what will happen to this pair?

Jodha Akbar – Movie Review

 

 

Phew!!! Finally saw it. There are a few things you need to prepare yourself for before watching the saga.

Firstly, if you don’t have the stamina or courage to sit through a movie which has a running time of 3 hours+ then AVOID it. Secondly, the last biggest hit of Hrithik-Aishwarya as a pair was Dhoom-2, something too dimensionally different from Jodha Akbar. So it will be hard for a big chunk of audience to digest them this way. The costumes, the dialogues, the customs are too different from the present era and I found many people in the audience laughing. Thirdly, we have a certain image of Akbar in our minds (thanks to Mughal-E-Azam) and its hard to see him as a madly in love, vulnerable and “young” Akbar trying to grope with the nitty gritties of politics. And that is exactly the problem with Jodha Akbar.

The negatives first. The first half of the movie opens up very well. The war sequence in the beginning is well executed. The marriage of a Mughal Emperor and a Rajput princess was completely unacceptable and a lot of political upheavals occurred before this happened. This buildup takes up a major portion of the first half, which is quite well shot and narrated by Amitabh Bachachan. The problem starts when the movie is inching towards the interval, when Jodha finally arrives in Agra after marriage. It is at that point when the movie begins to drag. Maham Anga, played by Ila Arun, is on the verge of turning the movie into some Balaji Telefilm’s serial ( Jodddhaaa Akkkkbar), when thankfully the interval appears like a knight in shining armour. Thankfully, just after the interval, Akbar throws out Maham Anga out of his life with his mother’s ( played by Poonam Sinha ) support and the movie picks up its pace. Another problem in the movie is its abrupt ending.

Now the positives. The movie boasts of some lush never seen before visuals. In a way its a beautiful visual treat throughout. May it be Jodha’s introduction scene or the elephant taming scene ( Its hard to imagine how Hrithik managed to do that) or the sword fight scene between Jodha and Akbar or the enchanting love story which enfolds as the movie progresses, the movie somehow sucks you in the flow of events. There are so many facts about Akbar which the movie reveals and which I have no intention of revealing here. It also portrays Jodha as a powerful queen who had a big hand in changing and moulding Akbar’s thought process and the way he handled his powers. She was the source behind his transformation, though in a very subdued way. The sublime scenes between the lead pair are the ones which hold the movie together. Hrithik has this huge burden of playing the Emperor and sometimes he puts too much effort and it shows. But somehow if I try to imagine someone else from the current breed of actors who could have done the role, I can’t imagine anyone else. Aishwarya is looking nothing less than a queen (*SIGH*). The songs are beautifully picturised. “In lamhoon ke daaman main”, “Khwaja mere Khawaja” and “Azeem-o-shan shenshah” perfectly stand out. The supporting cast which consist of Kulbhushan Kharbanda, Suhasini Mulay, Raza Murad, Sonu Sood, Ila Arun, Poonam Sinha have well etched roles which are performed well.

Hrithik and Aishwarya had the albatross of their last mega hit around their neck. I had a nightmare in which Jodha breaks into “Crazy kiya re” in front or Akbar and I promised myself that if Jodha Akbar would have one scene which would make me forget Aryan and Sunehri (Hrithik and Ash’s charecters in Dhoom 2), I’ll call this movie good. And yes, its good. Watch it for the honest effort which went into its making, watch it for Ashutosh Gowarikar who woke up a sleeping genre of films from its slumber and watch it to know the love story which somehow got lost in the pages of history.  

Directed by – Ashutosh Gowarikar

Rating – ***

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Jodha Akbar, Controversies and more…

jodha-akbar-wallpaper-14657-5641.jpg 2365-2.jpg omshantiom.jpg aajanachale.jpg rang_de_basanti.jpg fire_movie.jpg

While galloping google a few days back, I came across this article about the plans of Rajput outfits to boycott Jodha Akbar. If you read the link, then as per the organisations opposing the movie, Jodha was married not to Akbar(surprise!!!!) but to his son Salim. So, apun ka Bollywood, the prodigal daughter of controversies, has done it again. Or is it the other way round? If you would have followed the news on Bollywood controversies in the last few years, you would easily come to the conclusion that most of the movies which were made to gulp the controversy pill, were forced to do that for the most inane reasons. Its either because we don’t know the D of democracy or we can’t take the medium with a pinch of salt. Hence, its very important that the filmmaker should keep the following points in mind before starting a project :

  • Make sure that there are no jokes/references related to any communities. Always remember what happened to “Jo Bole Sonihaal”, “Khamoshi” and recently to “Aaja Nachle”. I could never understand, what in the name of Beelzebub, was the controversy behind Aaja Nachle? As far as I could remember, if a song used to have some controversial lyrics ( remember “Sexy Sexy” and “Sarkaiyo khatiya” ?), then the lyrics were changed and that decision was taken by the members of the Censor Board. But banning the movie in a state for this reason takes the cake. Are we moving back to the Neanderthal era?
  • If you want your movie to be released peacefully, make sure that you are not making a movie on any historical characters. Such movies have a high probability of running into troubled waters. Jodha Akbar, Mangal Pandey, Subhash Chandra Bose and Bhagat Singh rammed into trouble because of depicting lives of History book characters. The filmmaker will always find a set of people who will not agree with his research about the character which would lead to “Aa Bull mujhe maar”.
  • Never ever make fun of Veteran film personalities. If the movie is a hit then no one is going to bother but if its a flop then the filmmaker will have to live with the “kalank” of making fun of matinee idols whom he/she is supposed to worship. Recently Om Shanti Om went through the ordeal because of taking a dig at Manoj Kumar. Thankfully, the movie was a hit and recently Manoj Kumar was seen laughing at the Screen Awards function when the movie was mentioned.
  • Don’t make movies on social issues which are very hush hush. Remember the wars waged on Fire, Water and recently Black Friday. After finally watching Water, I think the kind of “Halla” created for the movie was nothing less than National disgrace. When are we finally going to grow up? Was there anything shown in the movie which we don’t know already? Do our beloved moral policemen consider the Indian audience to be so naive? Anyways, the point is that NO hushy hushy, only mushy mushy. 🙂
  • If a filmmaker has followed the above points religiously and has a bad luck, he/she will still land up in trouble anyways. The best examples in this category are Rang de Basanti(for the horse race scene (hhrumphhh!!!)), Fanaa( because of Aamir’s involvement in the Narmada river controversy in Gujrat) and recently Taare zameen par(for the same reason in Gujrat again!!!!). To evade such conditions the filmmaker should not actively participate in any Social causes, and should choose a cast which has an equally “I-don’t-care” attitude towards social issues and finally should consult an astrologer for the extra “Ks” and “Ms” in the movie title.

So, finally, what are the choices left? Well, love stories set in Alps, Fantasy(apparently, Indian movies are “too bad” in this category), Animation, crude comedies and stories which are different and don’t neglect any of the above points are the ones which would lead to a smooth and non-controversial release. 🙂 A last word for the audience and our self appointed moral policemen : Watching a movie is nothing different than reading a book or buying a painting. If you don’t like the book then don’t read it again, if you don’t like the painting then don’t buy it and if you don’t like the movie then don’t watch it again, but don’t take away the right of another person to form an opinion about it, specially when you are living in a country which is the largest Democracy of the world.

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