CroreHit Shetty goes to Hollywood

New York Depress starring Brave Willis and Emma Wandson

New York Depress starring Brave Willis and Emma Wandson

Crore-Hit Shetty was pacing worriedly in his office. His last 7 movies have been blockbusters, generating revenues of over 100 crores each. Producers were falling over each other to make a movie with him. Top actors were rubbing their nose on his toenails to give them a chance. Recently, Kamsina Kaif had a massive heart attack when she was approached to do a dance number for his movie. She was overwhelmed to death.

Suddenly the phone rang. It was his dear friend, Safe-Run Khan.

“Are you taking me in your next or not?” Safe-Run shouted the moment Crore-Hit picked up the phone.

“Oh! You won’t believe what I am directing next. I have a Hollywood offer!” Crore-Hit blurted out. He could not hold it any longer.

“What!?!? Please take me! Please! I will dance in all the weddings of your family. Tell me you are not joking!”

“No, I am not! I have been approached by Hippo Searchlight to make an international movie for them.”

“So what is the problem? Why do you sound worried?”

“I don’t have a story!” Crore-Hit said exasperatedly.

“Bah! But you never did! Come on! Pick up any older movie of yours. Pick Chennai Depress. Turn it into New York Depress,” Safe-Run suggested.

“Oh my Crores! You are a genius! I will give you a role in it,” Crore-Hit said and kept the receiver back. Safe-Run wanted to tell him that he would be happy to play even a telephone booth in his movie, but he kept that for later. 

Crore-Hit started working on the modifying the script. He took help of his lungi friends like Sajid Crap, Sajid’s sister Farha Crap, and Arbaaz Crap. The first thing they did was to take away all the South Indian characters out of Chennai Depress and fill them with stereotyped Caucasians. Then the locations of all the romantic songs were changed. There was one song atop the New York subway now and another one where the actors hang upside down from the Golden Gate. Just-Teen Burger was roped in to lend his voice to the lead actress while Yo Yo Donkey Singh was finalized to playback for the male lead.

“What about the crappy one liners and stale jokes?” Crore-Hit asked the Crap clan.

As an answer, Farha Crap took out the ‘Stereotype encyclopaedia for Blondes’ from her bag. The elite directors spent the rest of the day digging out jokes from the book and fitting them in various parts in the screenplay. 

“Have they finalized the starcast yet?” Karamchand, the editor-in-chief of Film-unfair asked Crore-Hit Shetty in a page 3 party.

“Yes, they are taking Brave Willis and Emma Wandson.”

“Isn’t Brave a bit old for the role? And Emma is 1/10th his age,” Karamchand said.

“But the audience loves old men and young girls. It’s aphrodisiacal,” Crore-Hit said flashing his teeth. 

Finalizing the actress for the item number was a monumental task. Crore-hit finally decided to hold a dance competition and invited Brave Willis to judge it with Farha Crap. It was a disaster. Three actresses shot each other with machine guns while one of them had her eyeballs clawed out. One actress was found naked tied to a commode while another one’s hair caught fire mysteriously. Another one died in a landmine blast just outside the venue. It was finally decided that an international celebrity should be taken. Sunny Lube-onee was finally signed because of her varied ‘exposures’ in the field. 

The movie went on floor and the Hollywood production house was pleasantly taken aback by the amazingly grotesque treatment of the subject. Crore-Hit convinced them that this is what the audience want nowadays. He told them that they leave their brains at home (India’s latest contribution to the list of Idioms) and laugh at all jokes from the Stereotype Encyclopaedia. The highlight of the movie was Brave Willis pelvic thrusting a song in the voice of Yo Yo Donkey Singh on top of a subway train as Emma Wandson quivered semi-naked in front of him. She lip synced Just-teen Burger’s rendition of the duet as a group of hundred dancers gyrated with her atop the train. The whole of New York was out on the streets to see this unbelievable spectacle. 

The movie earned billions of dollars. Crore-Hit Shetty was rechristened BullShit Shetty in international circles.

Safe-Run Khan loved his promised cameo in New York Depress. He was the one who helped Emma Wandson get on the train by giving her his hand, followed by Emma doing an ‘Obliviate’ on him. He looked forward to promote the movie in India by appearing with the lead star cast on the best television shows like See.Eye.Duh and ‘Niyati entangled in the whirlpool of relationships’.

Meanwhile BullShit Shetty was offered to direct the next part of Aven-jerks – The rise of Loki, Tinda and Tori. 

The A to Z of movies

Another tag!!! 😀 And as interesting as the previous one! Lallopallo and Poonam tagged me to list an alphabetical list of my favorite films, one for each letter of the alphabet. I am doing this tag purely for Hollywood movies because including Bollywood movies here would be like comparing apples and oranges. I might do the tag again separately for Bollywood movies. 😉 If you want to know more about the movies listed below, just click on the movie name. Here goes the list :

A : As good as it gets(1997)

An obsessive-compulsive, misanthrope novelist, his favourite waitress and his gay neighbour take a trip to Baltimore which change their lives. A flawless witty script and equally flawless performances by the lead actors makes it one of the most memorable movies I have seen. Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt landed up with the Best Actor and Actress Oscars for their performance in this movie. A close second : Annie Hall.

B : Before Sunrise(1995)

One of the most romantic movies I have ever seen. Jesse, a young American, and Céline, a young French woman, meet on a train and decide to get down at Vienna. They spend the rest of the night walking down the streets and knowing each other. Come to think of it, the movie is nothing more than two people walking and talking, but its mesmerising none the less. A close second : Babel.

C : Chocolat(2000)

Vianne, a young mother, arrive in a small French village with her daughter and opens up a chocolaterie. The effect of this new addition to the village on the local people and the scheming, angry Mayor which is further fuelled by the appearance of Gypsies is the story of this excellent movie. The movie was nominated for several awards including 5 Oscars. A close second : Cast away.

D : Driving Miss Daisy(1989)

Winner of 4 Oscars out of the 9 for which it was nominated, Driving Miss Daisy is the story of a a Jewish lady(Miss Daisy) and her Old nigger driver(Hoke). The movie explores the relationship between the two characters amidst the racist and prejudiced background of the American society. Jessica Tandy became the oldest actress to win the Oscar for Best actress at the age of 80 for her portrayal of Miss Daisy. A close second : Dr. Zhivago.

E : Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind(2004)

One of the very rare Jim Carrey movies which I liked. Emotionally withdrawn Joel and Clementine meet up in a train and strike a relationship. What they don’t realize is that they are former lovers who have fallen apart in their relationship earlier and had their memory erased. A beautifully created movie with some excellent visuals and a great story which won the Academy Award for the Best Original Screenplay. A close second : Erin Brokovich.

F : Fiddler on the Roof(1971)

The movie follows the story of Topol,  a Jewish milkman in the village of Anatevka in Czarist Russia in 1905. As times change, Topol gropes through the fact that his daughters want to get married with the men of their choice and not the one chosen by the matchmakers. The movie had some memorable songs like “Matchmaker”, “Do you love me” and “If I were a rich man”. A brilliant and delightful movie to make you smile. A close second : Forrest Gump & Fargo

G : Gosford Park(2001)

The movie is set in 1932 in an English country house where a group of wealthy Britisher and American gather for a shooting weekend. Its a murder mystery which creates the drama and tension between the characters above the stairs and below(the servants). It was nominated for 7 Oscars including the Best Picture. A close second : Good Will Hunting.

H : Hotel Rwanda(2004)

One of the most powerful and hardhitting movies of our times. It is the story of the hotelier Paul Rusesabagina during the Rwandan Genocide of 1994 in which an estimated 1,000,000 people were killed by extremist militants. Paul saved many people by giving them shelter in a hotel. A must watch. A close second : Harry Potter and the prizoner of Azkaban

I : It’s a wonderful life(1946)

The film takes place in the fictional town of Bedford Falls shortly after World War II where George Bailey, a man who is on the verge of committing suicide on Christmas Eve is saved by his guardian angel, Clarence who is sent to help him in his hour of need. Its a feel good movie and makes you realize that things could have been worse. A close second : Into the wild.

J : Jurassic Park(1993)

Steven Spielberg gave us the thrills of our life with this movie. I still cannot forget the euphoria this movie generated across the globe. A masterpiece in its own right. A close second : Juno.

K : Kramer Vs Kramer(1979)

Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep came together in this courtroom drama which tells the tale of a couple getting divorced and the impact it had on their only son. The movie won the Oscar for Best Movie and inspired our very own Akele Hum Akele Tum. 

L : Lost in Translation(2003)

The movie follows the story of an aging actor Bob Harris and Charlotte(who is the wife of a celebrated photographer) who meet in the city of Tokyo. Both of them find a companion in each other when they are struggling with the cultural shock of being in an alien city. A close second : Life is Beautiful.

M : Moonstruck(1987)

I fell in love with Cher when I saw this movie. Absolutely hilarious and romantic, this movie got Cher her well deserved Oscar for the Best actress. I loved the way she says – “Snap out of it!!” and “Where is the ring?”. A movie I can watch a thousand times over. The movie was nominated for 6 Oscars. A close second : My sassy girl

N : Notes on a Scandal(2006)

A chilling performance by Judi Dench as an old History teacher(Barbara) in a school who is drawn towards another new teacher(Sheba) and befriends her. Barbara when realises that Sheba is in love with a student, ends up tormenting and blackmailing her. Great performances by Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench. 

O : Out of Africa(1985)

A 1985 film based loosely on the autobiographical book by Isak Dinesen published in 1937.  The movie depicts the events during 1914–1931 concerning European settlers and the native people in Kenya. The movie went on to receive 28 Movie awards including 7 Oscars. A close second : One Flew over the Cuckoo’s nest.

P : Pan’s Labyrinth(2006)

A 2006 Spanish fantasy film which depicts the story of Ofelia during 1944 Spanish civil war, who meet many strange and magical creatures to complete her tasks given by the Faun to save her pregnant mother. One of the most enchanting fantasy movies I have ever seen. The movie was nominated for 6 Oscars. A must watch. A close second : Pretty Woman.

Q : Queen, The(2006)

The movie encompasses the upheavals in the British Royal family and the public reactions after Princess Diana’s death in the car crash in Paris. It all happened when Tony Blair was just elected and the movie depicts how he convinced the Queen to give in to what the public was demanding and the transformation the Queen went through during the tragedy. 

R : Roman Holiday(1953)

The first Audrey Hepburn movie I saw. She was the epitome of beauty and completely did justice to the princess’s role thus earning the Oscar that year. The rebel princess, a reporter after a sensational news and the comedy which follows. Does that ring a bell? A close second : Rainman.

S : Sophie’s choice(1982)

A 1982 drama film that tells the story of a beautiful Polish immigrant, Sophie, and her tempestuous lover who share a boarding house with a young writer in Brooklyn. The movie is famous for the scene in which Sophie is asked to choose between her two children. The film got Meryl Streep an Oscar for her touching portrayal of Sophie. A close second : Schindler’s List.

T : The Shawshank Redemption(1994)

This movie based on a Stephan King novel follows the story of a young banker named Andy who spends two decades in the Shawshank state prison and his friendship with Red. A great movie by all standards. The movie was nominated for 7 Oscars and heads the IMDB’s Top 250 films. A must watch. A close second : The Silence of the lambs.

U : Unforgiven(1992)

A Western directed by Clint Eastwood which tells the story of  William Munny, an aging and retired gunslinger living in a desolated land with his two children and who takes up a  job years after he had given up killing people and turned to farming. A dark movie that deals with the uglier aspects of violence and the myth of the Old West. The movie was nominated for 9 Oscars out of which it won 4. 

V : Vanilla Sky(2001)

One of the most puzzling moves I have seen in recent times. The ending itself has four interpretations. Despite all that, I liked the plot because for the first one hour, you won’t understand a single thing. Everything starts making sense in the second half when the climax again throws you off track. I love this movie because of the roller coaster ride it provided. A close second : V for Vendetta.

W : When Harry met Sally(1989)

A romantic comedy based on chance encounters between the lead pair and exploring the question “Can men and women ever just be friends?” You can still find people who are obsessed with the film and yes, our own HumTum is based on this movie. And how can anyone forget the “I’ll have what she is having” scene. 

X : X men(2000)

Of all the movies in the X Men series, I think the first one was the best. Its a fight between the good mutants and the bad ones but like all superhero movies, its a visual treat.

Y : Y Tu Mama Tambien(2001)

Its a 2001 Mexican film in Spanish about two teenage boys who take a road trip with a woman in her 20s and what follows. The film has the present day Mexico as its background and has some explicit sexual sequences. It is the closest you can take cinema to reality. 

Z : Zodiac(2006)

A psychological thriller based on the true events associated with a serial killer named Zodiac who was active in Northern California in the 1960s. Zodiac has never been captured.

So, this marks the end of the meme. I would like to tag Priyank, Reema, Smita, Liju and Nikhil to do this tag.

Best Hollywood Movie Series

I have not done any filmy post from a long time now and I am having a headache in my stomach because of that. I saw “The Mummy” and “Singh is Kinnnnnng” but didn’t feel like writing a review for either of them. Both of them gave me a terrible headache. I have been watching a lot of Hollywood Movies lately and as the sequel fever is catching up with Bollywood movies too, I wonder if we will ever get a “Maine Phir pyar kiya” of a “Dilwale Dulhaniya phir le jayenge” ? I would really do anything to see what happened to Raj and Simran.

Putting an end to all the wishful thinking, here is the list of my all time favourite Hollywood Series. Its a very personal list and don’t be disheartened if I have not included one of your favourites. 🙂

10. Back to the Future

Back to the future was released in 1985 and it went ahead to become the highest grosser that year. It was followed by its sequel in 1989 and the last movie of the trilogy released in 1990. The Sequels were not as successful as the first movie, but I enjoyed all the three movies thoroughly.

The movie revolves around the concept of time travel. In a time machine invented by Dr. Brown, Marty travels back to 1955 where he meets his parents when they were teenagers. He interferes with their first meeting. Now he has to make sure that his parents fall in love so that he is born otherwise he would be erased from the future.

The movie was funny and engrossing. In the sequel, Marty goes to the future to deal with his children who are grown up and directionless.

The movie has a 95% tomatometer rating and is at the 10th position in AFI’s Top ten Science Fiction movies of all times.

9. X Men

This series consisted of three superhero movies based on the Marvel Comics series of the same name. Each movie outgrossed the last movie and each sequel was more expensive than the previous. Hugh Jackman was a relatively unknown actor when the series changed his fortunes overnight. He plays the lead character of Wolverine who is drawn into the conflict between two groups of mutants. One group is headed by Professor Xavier who runs a school for mutants where they are coached to understand and control their powers. The other group is headed by Magneto, the evil mutant who wants to destroy mankind before they destroy him.

And all those who are thinking that the fun is over, hold your bad breath, because X Men Origins series are on their way starting with Wolverine and Magneto next year.

8. Pirates of the Caribbean

The first part of this trilogy was first released in 2003 and its success was completely unexpected. Walt Disney revealed after its unexpected success that a trilogy was on the way. The second movie in the series – Dead Man’s Chest, was an instant success and broke box office records all over the world.

The first movie was based on a theme park ride in Disneyland and people were expecting it to be a big flop but Johnny Depp(who played Captain Jack Sparrow) completely turned the tables. The name of Captain Sparrow will always remain synonymous with the movie. The movie follows the journey of Captain Jack Sparrow and a blacksmith Will Turner(played by Orlando Bloom) as they rescue Elizabeth ( played by Keira Knightley) who is kidnapped by the cursed crew of the ghost ship named Black Pearl.

7. Spiderman

This three movie series of the Marvel Comic superhero directed by Sam Raimi changed the fortunes of Tobey Maguire. The series was immensely successful and the third movie broke the opening box office records in 29 countries. All the three movies grossed more than 800 million dollars each at the box office.

The rights of the motion picture on Spiderman were purchased in 1985 but the first movie came up in 2002. The rights moved through many hands before they ended up in the lap of Sony Entertainment. How the movie finally saw the light of the day after a wait of 17 years is another interesting story which you can read here.

The bad news is that even after the success of all the three movies, there are no indications of a fourth part.

6. Shrek

This series consist of a total of eight projects out of which three have been already released. The series is based on a picture book of the same name by William Steig. The movie follows the unusual story of an ogre who is sent by Lord Farquaad to rescue princess Fiona who is locked in a tower guarded by a dragon. Shrek rescues the princess with the help of a talking donkey. The most hilarious part of the movie is the love story of the donkey and the dragon(who is a female by the way). And yes, who can forget the adorable puss in boots?

The movie dazzled with brilliant animation and a unique storyline. The third part of the series was panned by the critics saying that it was a normal movie trying to be an animation, but I liked it nevertheless. The movie boasts of so many unforgettable characters like the frog king, Prince Charming, the Fairy Godmother and so many fairy tale creatures.

5. Batman

Batman movies have been there since a long time but the series being mentioned here is the reboot series directed by Christopher Nolan which started with Batman Begins in 2005 and exploded the screens with The Dark Knight. The Dark Knight holds the record of the fastest film to reach the 400 million mark. It did that in just 18 days. Christian Bale does full justice to the role of Batman in both the series and infact when the wears the Batsuit, you have a feeling that no one else could have done it better.

In Dark Knight, Heath Ledger as The Joker gave another dimension to the villain in Cinema, which is hard to equal. Its a pity that he passed away without seeing his own success.

And yes, before you ask, there is no sign of a sequel announcement.

4. Star Wars

Star Wars was conceived by George Lucas in 1970 which finally went on to become a six film series. The first three movies came in 1977, 1980 and 1983. The story takes place in a fictional galaxy consisting of super developed planets interacting with each other. “Force” is an energy form which can be harnessed by those who have the ability. The creatures who can harness the force for good are called Jedi and there is an academy to train them. But there is a dark side too which consist of those who misuse the Force. The are called the Sith. The first three movies follow the story of Luke Skywalker who is the son of the Dark Lord called Darth Vader.

The next three movies came in 1999, 2002 and 2005 which followed the story of Anakin Skywalker who is trained to become a Jedi since childhood but finally turns towards the dark Force to become Darth Wader. The series were immensely successful and had spawned a plethora of franchise.

3. Harry Potter

No, its not a series of 7 movies. Its 8. The last book(Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) is been split into two movies. So, three more to go!!! 🙂 Rowling sold the film rights for the first four movies to Warner Bros in 1999 for a reported 1 million pounds. She also insisted for keeping the primary cast as British and allowing casting of Irish actors as well. Steven Spielberg was supposed to direct the first movie but somehow that didn’t worked out. Apparently, Speilberg wanted the movie to be an animated series!!!!

All the five movies of the series released so far have been tremendous success and the next one ( Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince) is slated to be released on July 17, 2009. Generally movies based on popular books divide the fans over the faithful creation of the movie adaptations and this series was no different. This is one reason I haven’t read the books yet. I don’t want to fall out of love with the movies.

2. Matrix

This series comprised of three movies in the science-fiction genre which were directed by the Wachowski Brothers. The first movie in the series came out in 1999 and I was verbally abused by my friends for choosing to watch Mann over this movie. I consider it the biggest mistake of my life.

All the three movies were critically acclaimed and successful but there are debates over the last movie of the series. The second movie( The Matrix Reloaded) is the highest grosser out of the three and set benchmarks as far action sequences were concerned. The series also inspired a new religious movement called Matrixism or “The path of one” by a group in 2004.

Personally, I don’t remember the number of times I have seen the movie. For days, I observed everything around me very minutely and was quite sure that we are living in a Matrix. Such was the influence of the movie on me. I used to think that the Matrix is mocking us by showing us this movie about what actually happened to us and still we could not make it out. An absolute favourite and a must watch.

1. The Lord of the Rings

The Lord of the Rings Triology consist of three live action fantasy epic films based on the book by the same name by J. R. R. Tolkien. The story is set in Middle Earth where a Hobbit named Frodo comes into possession of the One Ring of the Dark Lord Sauron. Frodo sets on an expedition to destroy the ring with 8 other companions with him.

The movie series is the Highest grossing series of all time right now and has grossed a total of $2.91 billions worldwide. The combined special effects of all the three movies stand at 3,420. The movie took 8 years in the making with a total budget cost of $280 million and was shot in New Zealand. In total, six million feet of film (over 1,100 miles) was edited down to the 11 hours and 23 minutes (683 minutes) of Extended DVD running time(and I am the proud owner of the extended DVD version). It won 17 Oscars out of the 30 it was nominated for.

I have seen all the three parts about 30 times each. So much that I can recite the dialogues while watching the movie and tell you the next scene in advance. My family was very concerned once because every time they used to see me watching a movie, it was LOTR. 🙂 I don’t think any other movie series would be the number one for me.

Those left out

There are many movie series which are not included here for the simple reason that I did not liked them as a package. For e.g. you may not find Indiana Jones here because the movie “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” was the worst one I have ever seen. The way India is portrayed in the movie is nonsensical.

Another popular movie series which is not in the list is Saw. I did not liked the third part. It was too gory. There are numerous more examples like – Hannibal, Home Alone, Scary Movie, Hulk, Resident Evil, Jurassic Park Series, to name a few.

p.s. A lot of information for the post was obtained from Wikipedia.

The Dark Knight – Movie Review

And thus arrived the mother of all Superhero movies. And what an arrival!!! Its dark, its gloomy, its dangerous and it makes your hair stand. It reinvents the villain in Cinema and pours an avalanche of well crafted sequences and performances your way. This was the most awaited movie of the year and it was worth all that wait.

Christopher Nolan directs this sequel of Batman Begins where Batman(Christian Bale) is pitched against the most malicious villains of all times- The Joker (played by Heath Ledger). The Villain who does not care about money but just want to see the world in chaos. There is no way you can scare him because he has nothing to loose. Then there is Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) who is the district attorney and has a strained relation with Batman. He is Gotham city’s only hope as a hero with a face and Batman is banking on him so that he could live a normal life with his childhood sweetheart Rachel Dawes who is oscillating between the two men. In comes the Joker and everything turns topsy turvy.

The movie belongs to Heath Ledger. Never have a villain been so terrifying and so much filled with malevolence. Its been a long time since we have come across such a fine piece of villainy(read acting) and I can strongly smell an Oscar. Its rare when an actor takes over a movie with his sheer presence even though he is playing a villain. This was Heath Ledger’s last movie as he passed away in January 2008. Joker will always be remembered by this performance and whoever takes over the role in the next movie in the series will be having some pretty big shoes to fill in. Christian Bale is also good as the man torn between his duty and love(as all superheroes are) while Harvey has some very realistic graphics done on his face in the second half.

The movie boasts of some great action sequences although I didn’t like the one towards the end as it was too haphazard and hazy. In this movie Batman can be seen flying for the first time when he goes to HongKong to abduct Lau for the Gotham City police. That was one hell of an action sequence. The sequence in which Joker attacks the police vans carrying Harvey is also well executed and that is where the Batpod appears for the first time. Pretty neat vehicle. 🙂 The Joker is in police custody near the interval and you think that its over but its just the lull before the storm. And yes, Harvey Two-Face also makes an appearance.

Do watch this movie as it is one of the best Superhero movie of recent times. Dark, full of turmoil and with fabulous performances. Watch it for Joker, the perfect Anti-Hero. Its nothing less than sheer delight.

Rating – 4.5/5

Director – Christopher Nolan

Official Website – http://thedarkknight.warnerbros.com/

Iron Man – Movie Review

Iron Man appeared for the first time in Marvel Comics publications in 1963. The most recent title was released on May 2008 titled Iron Man: Viva Las Vegas #1. Iron Man has also been a member of the superheroes team called “The Avengers” and has been an incredibly successful superhero. So, it was just a matter of time that he appeared on the big screen. Praises by a few friends and a healthy Rotten Tomatoes rating prompted me to go ahead and watch the movie. Surely I was not disappointed. In fact it was after a long hiatus that I saw something worthy of the ticket money.

Iron Man stars Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man, a mastermind and a genius inventor who also happens to be a billionaire and a womaniser. Gwyneth Paltrow appears as Pepper Potts, Stark’s personal assistant who is a vital part of his life and is always there for him. Jeff Bridges plays Obadiah Stane, who has been with the Stark Industries since its conception by Tony’s father and is now Tony’s right hand man. Terrence Howard is Lt. Colonel James Rhodes who is Tony’s most trusted friend and a military liaison to the Stark Industry. Tony is attacked and kidnapped in Afghanistan while returning from a demonstration of his latest weapon system. The terrorist group called Ten Rings, demands that Tony creates a similar weapon system for them and provide him with all the necessary components. Tony ends up creating the first prototype of the Iron Man and escapes wearing the power suit. The whole episode is a reality check for him and gives a new and meaningful direction to his life. He returns home to create a more advanced suit to combat terrorism.

This is one of the most believable and relevant superhero movies of recent times, something which comes very close to what Spider-Man was. A cast which melt into their roles, dazzling special effects and terse dialogues make this movie worth a watch. The special effects look surprisingly believable. We are getting quite good at them now a days. Robert Downey Jr. is the surprise package of the movie. His performance is quite a mix of everything, humor included, which is quite rare in superhero movies. The movie keeps you engrossed and there is not a moment of boredom, even when Tony and Pepper are having their awkward moment together on the terrace.

So, if you like action packed superhero movies, then Iron Man is what the doctor ordered. Many people compared it to Transformers and argued that the action in Iron Man is not that plentiful, but Transformers was not a superhero movie. Iron Man has more of a story because it depicts the creation of the Superhero. In fact most of the action appears in the second half and it would be really unfair to compare the movie with the Transformers, although you can see the inspiration in the climax.

Of course, the sequel is in the pipeline and some more Superheroes such as Thor and Captain America are also rubbing up their heels for a movie release. You can check out the really cool Iron Man website here.

Directed by – Jon Favreau

Rating – 4/5

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10,000 B.C. – Movie Review

Don’t even think about comparing 10,000 B.C. with Roland Emmerich‘s previous works like Independence Day and The day after tomorrow. Believe me, this movie comes nowhere close to them. The biggest irony is that the movie looked so promising in the promos. ( Note to myself – A good promo doesn’t guarantee a good movie. Period.)

The movie follows the journey of a mammoth hunter named D’Leh ( played by Steven Strait ) as he walks walks and walks across god knows how many continents to rescue his lady love Evolet ( played by Camilla Belle ) who has been kidnapped by a warlord along with many of his tribesmen. The warlords are kidnapping people to create huge structures which bear a striking similarity to the Egyptian Pyramids ( which were not created before 2600-2500 B.C. ). On his way, D’Leh meets many other tribesmen ( who can’t speak chaste English like him ) and creates a sort of army with them. 

– The first problem with the movie is that its terribly predictable. Ten minutes into the movie and you know (Yawn!!!) what the movie is all about.  

– The second problem is that after watching some really good movies in the prehistoric genre like “The passion of the Christ” and  “Apocalypto” which used the language spoken in that era as a tool to make the movies more believable, this movie fails to absorb the audience in the sequence of events as the characters talk in English and this gave the movie a very “hip hop” feel rather than a “prehistoric” feel.

– The third problem is that the movie bears close resemblance to Apocalypto which was a far more superior and believable movie. The storyline is almost the same except for the digitally generated animals.

– The fourth problem is that all the actors fail to impress. In-fact, the woolly mammoth and the saber-toothed cats were much more interesting and engrossing. Just for the record, they looked quite real and better “actors” and were the only saving grace of the otherwise “completely lost” movie. The huge ostrich like birds too failed to impress like the humans as they were always groping with the dense grass and “too fast” camera shots.

– The fifth problem is that everything is too smooth for our hero. Right from breaching the security and entering the slave quaters to killing the “God” king, everything is a cakewalk. And to add injury to insult, the love story is on the verge of becoming a tragedy when it suddenly turns out to be a “happily ever after”.

To sum it up, avoid it if you can. But if you are not at all convinced that the movie can be that bad after watching the promos ( as I wasn’t ), then go ahead on your own discretion. Watch it for the huge computer generated Pyramid structures ( they are awesome ), watch it for the mammoths and the cat. The humans will definitely let you down.

Movie Rating : 1/5

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