Love Compatibility for same sex couples

Polly (my wife) and I sometimes puff up like a puffer fish (with pride, not alarm) when we remember that we got a love compatibility score of 33 out of 36 when our horoscopes were matched. For those who are not faint hearted, horoscope matching used to be a complicated process which required an astrologer who has studied the science of matchmaking. Based on the planetary positions at your birth time and 36 qualities in a human being, the astrologer calculated the compatibility and predicted if coupling was possible. It ended up with a number of charts which looked like a football field crisscrossed with a number of lines, something similar to the signs which lesser creative aliens have left on our corn fields.

Lagna Chart

Now a day, the whole process just needs a software. While our parents still go the old fashioned way, we always confirm the output on the software installed on our laptops in case the astrologer was too drunk to make out anything.

The software requires the couple to put their birthdates, gender, birth place and time (very important as a deviation of a second will alter the planetary positions and your life) and it will match the horoscopes. By the way, how do you determine birth time? Is it the moment your head pops out or the moment the umbilical cord is cut? Just curious.

Anyways, the software is useful after marriage too.  Sometimes, after a fight, Polly and I have re-checked the compatibility figure several times either to

  • make sure that it is still 33 out of 36 (It will scientifically never change because it depends on the planetary positions when you were born.)
  • check if there was a mistake initially and the astrologer was actually drunk and the software malfunctioned too which again is highly improbable.

It acts as a pacifier. After all, how bad can it get if you scored 33/36? You will always clink back like two opposite poles of a magnet.

This brings me to the point of writing this post. Yesterday Polly and I were discussing this whole horror-scope thingy and the talk steered towards providing a gay friendly addition to the software. Of course the software does not allow it. It recoils in horror and disables its buttons.

FireWhat if a guy wants to check his horoscope against another guy? There is simply no option. He can’t narrow down his search and has the whole ocean to fish. Now imagine how this can be successfully used in a lot of movies to show the anguish and confusion of a character. Imagine Nandita Das’s character in Fire using Kundli (Horoscope) matching software to understand her feelings towards Shabana Azmi’s character and finding to her horror/delight/something that the horoscopes match with a score of 35/36. Won’t this addition to the story make the characters infinitesimally poignant? Won’t it increase their hope for a better future and bring out the dilemma more vividly? Imagine Nandita throwing the horoscope printouts on her husband’s face and leave with Shabana towards the sunset.

Leave aside such complicated software, our very own good old Linda Goodman does not provide the solution. The tome does not talk about same gender love compatibility at all. There are numerous check-your-love-compatibility-now (!!!) websites also available, but you will never see something like this in them –

Love Compatibility men

or this –

Love Compatibility women

Now imagine Jake Gyllenhaal’s character in Brokeback Mountain picking up a Linda Goodman in a bookstore and open the Scorpio-man-Leo-man love compatibility page and found that Heath Ledger’s character was tailor made for him. Although, the movie won so many awards that if you pile them on top of each other, you can make an award beanstalk to the moon, but that is beside the point. Linda Goodman’s love signs for Gay men would have added the written-in-the-stars angle to the love story.

One wonders that even though we are becoming such a gay friendly planet, why we are neglecting the homosexual angle in astrology. It’s a big market if anyone wants to make money. After all it doesn’t take much to fool humans into believing that there are only 12 kind of people in the world or the planets control our lives.

Images taken from:

http://www.astrosagar.com/article.asp?id=57

http://www.desivideos.net/2007/03/15/fire-movie-hindi/

http://www.betterworldbooks.com/linda-goodman-s-love-signs-id-0060968966.aspx

http://entertainment.ezinemark.com/most-impressive-animated-couples-773651103d6d.html

The price of being different

How do we react when we come across a woman who is middle aged, successful and not married?

How do we react when we come across a person who is gay/lesbian?

How do we react when we come across a couple who have remarried in old age?

Most of us react in the most inexplicable manner. The reaction starts with amazement and passes to confusion and ends up in a recoil of horror or disgust. We are so much used to live in our own contrived world that a slight deviation lands us in a state of utter bewilderment. We just can’t accept a person who does not think like us and who lives a life which is not considered “normal” by any standard of society. People want other people to be like them and if they don’t succeed then they turn really nasty.

The three instances which I have stated above are too big for many to digest. People cant’ even digest “slight” deviations. As a kid, I was more interested in reading books rather than playing cricket. My Physical Education teacher was a lady who just could not understand me. She always looked at me with such resentful eyes as if I was a pig who just got out of a pool of scum. She tried her best to defame me in the school as I was the topper but I never gave a hoot. I just could not understand that why was I forced to do something in which I was not interested? And why couldn’t she digest the fact that there can be a boy who does not like to play cricket? In such situations, a person turns towards his friends and parents where he expects support and encouragement. Can you imagine the trauma when he finds none? Thankfully, this was not the case with me.

Anyways, this was just a small example. I have known four women who are middle aged, chose to remain unmarried and had fabulous careers. When people are told about such women, they invariably end up making fun of them.

“Oh!! There must be some medical problem. Or maybe she was ditched and she turned into a man-hater. *giggles* “

People just can’t accept the fact that a woman/man can feel complete and satisfied even if she/he does not marry. The person might have a different definition of “Satisfaction” which most of us fail to acknowledge or understand. Its not really hard but many of us don’t have that dimension in our thought process.

A few days back I was having a discussion with a close friend of mine and we were discussing the Gay Pride March which happened in Delhi. My friend asked me that how would I react if one fine day I find out that one of my close friend is gay? This is how our talk went –

Me – Why do I need to react?
Friend – Because its not normal.
Me – What is normal then?
Friend – A girl and a boy falling in love. That’s normal.
Me – Who decides that?
Friend – That’s the way things are.
Me – And who decides that?
Friend – I don’t get your point.
Me – Why should I care about what a person do in his bedroom and what are his sexual preferences as long as I am not asked to get involved? If he is a dear friend then he will remain one. I am no one to decide how a person leads his life. Its his life. I can’t point out fingers at a person who is just living his life his own way. There are many people in this world who do things like killing people, raping innocents, robbing others of their land and money and fooling a whole nation. I would like to point my finger at them.
Friend – Errrr…I don’t know. Guess I will leave him.
Me – Congratulations. You are a part of a vast majority.

Most of us think that nature did not intended it to happen that way but lets not be God and slap our decisions on others. A human must have the right to live the way he wants to as long as he is not hurting anyone. And lets not make fun of people who don’t share our thinking.

We don’t find anything wrong when someone gives or takes Dowry. We don’t find anything wrong when we bribe an officer to get our work done. We don’t find anything wrong when we do illegal constructions on our houses. But we don’t leave any stone unturned to make the life of a person miserable who does not wish to become an Engineer or a Doctor or a person who falls in love at the age of 50 or a couple who decide not to have a baby.

All of us feel bad when someone takes a dig at us but we don’t think twice before disparaging someone. No one likes to be mistreated and told that you don’t fit in. Fit in where? Forming an opinion is good but lets have a rational and logical thinking behind one. Telling a mother that her daughter is a burden and needs to be disposed off(married) as soon as possible is the worst kind of insult you can inflict on anyone. Similarly, telling your son that he has brought disgrace on the family because he is inclined towards a career which is not of your liking is a form of mental abuse.

Lets not turn “being different” into a misfortune for the person. Lets not inflict anxiety, depression and anger on someone when we, as parents and friends, can become the person’s real strength. Lets not make fun of people who, according to our dogmatic and sectarian thinking process, don’t fit in. Lets not be the spiteful, purposeless chauvinists we were never meant to be and give some respect to the fellow humans.

[the photo is taken from – http://flickr.com/photos/nickwheeleroz/2220008689/]