Its time I answer some questions

I have been mercilessly tagged and awarded in the last one year. Ok. I was awarded only twice and tagged twice but I like to think that it was merciless. Feels good. And its my bloody blog so I will define what merciless means here.

I ignored the tags and awards for a long time but I had a dream last night in which a Tag and an Award took human forms and tried to strangulate me. They were crying while doing so and thus awoke my conscience. I promised them that I will honor them and hence this post.

I will try not to bore you with my answers.

U.S. Pandey who blogs at One Grain Amongst The Storm gave me the Liebster Award and here are the Q & As –

Top 4 authors, or photographers, you love

Charles Dickens (The first novel I read was an abridged version of Oliver Twist that I won in a debate competition in class 6. I don’t think there is any novel by dear CD that I haven’t read)

Arthur Conan Doyle (Ah! They don’t make them like him anymore. The Hound of Baskervilles and The Sign of Four are my all time favorites)

Orhan Pamuk (There is something very grounded in the way he writes his incredible stories)

J.M Coetzee (The most gifted writers of our times. Read Life & Times of Michael K and Disgrace and you will know what I mean)

Top 4 Movies

Ok. That is a crazy question. Anyways, my top 4 movies are – Spirited Away, Pan’s LabyrinthThe Shawshank RedemptionAmélie

Top 4 singers/albums

Kishore Kumar (For the sheer variety), Shreya Ghoshal (For the divine voice), Asha Bhosle (For those seductive punches), Mohammed Rafi (For melting my heart again and again)

What would you do if you were to be stopped from writing?

I will start painting.

Are you in favour of banning books?

God No! Adults write them and adults read them.

Are you in favour of capital punishment?

If we are absolutely sure that the person committed the crime, then Yes. If there is a 0.5% chance of his/her innocence, then No. You can’t bring back the dead.

Are you in favour of veils for women, as in hijab?

I am in favor of  religion not telling anyone what to wear.

Which is the best translated work (or works) you’ve read?

Night train to Lisbon by Pascal Mercier

Moments you cherish.

My time spent in Manchester. It was the first time I realized that humans are capable of not littering the roads and piss on the walls and not honk and….I can go on and on.

Moments you’d rather forget.

One day I will gather the courage to write a blog post about it.

Is blogging for everyone?

No. Sustaining your creative streak is never easy.

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Tushar who blogs at My Life, My World gave me the same award as USP and here are the Q&As –

1. Why did you start blogging?

I was bored.

2. You are getting an all expenses paid trip for two to a place of your choice? Where will it be and with whom?

I need mountains around and loads of snow. Place doesn’t matter.

3. Dog or cat? And why?

Errr…none actually. I am not an animal person really. I like them though.

4. Half a million dollars for slogging for 6 months year or a week’s peace on the beaches of Bahamas?

Why is that even a question? 🙂

5. What is your deepest fear?

That one fine day, I will wake up to realize that I cannot get up from bed without anyone’s help. One day a nurse will take care of me while I lie on a bed.

6. How did you propose your girl/guy? Or how you plan to do so?

I am married and I didn’t propose. I just asked – So, what do you think? And she replied – Mm..Hm. And that was pretty much it.

7. One ‘Ctrl + Z’ moment of your life? Something you want to undo if you had a choice?

Loads of them. I have a fear that I will leave my zipper open one day. I will jump off a building if that happens.

8. Who is the most ‘marriage-able’ celebrity?

I don’t know. I don’t know any of them personally.

9. One thing that can take you to the ultimate heights of fame?

You mean people-trying-to-grope-me and tearing-off-my-clothes-in-public fame? I don’t want that.

10. Do you follow any sports, team, club or a person? Why this love started?

Hell no! I try not to follow anyone. I am not a stalker.

11. Did you like coming to this blog? And will you visit again?

Too personal! 😛

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Afshan who blogs at The Pensive tagged me a long time back. She gave me 25 questions. 25!!!! Afshan, I can’t answer your questions right now with honesty because I will be lying in most of them. I will pick your tag later when I can give truthful answers. Thank you for tagging me though.

I love this aura of suspense that I have created!

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Reema who blogs at My Random Thoughts tagged me in the Stone Age. Here are the Q&As –

1) Your most beautiful post.

Costa Chatter – Sita and Draupadi – I found this series satisfying mainly because I can go back and read it without cringing.

2) Your most popular post

My most popular post was I am with about 1,25,000 hits. God knows why!

3) Your most helpful post

They were How to shop with a lady and stay sane & Facebook photos uploading etiquettes

4) Your most controversial post

I won’t call it controversial per se but a lot of people did not like what I wrote here – Why SBI is the worst bank of India.

5) A post whose success surprised you

The Hitchhikers Guide To A Sane Life. I don’t know why it was so popular back then and why I wrote it.

6) A post that you thought did not get the attention it deserved

Traffic control gadgets for the ASIRW (Average Stupid Indian Road Warrior). I poured my heart and soul into it and came up with such innovative ideas and no one read them.

7) A post which you are most proud of

I liked the caption posts I did a long time back – Fear and Have you ever…

I would like to thank all those who read the post till the end and if you have scrolled down and this is the first line you are reading then you missed all the gossip from my personal life. Also, I am not tagging everyone because honestly I don’t think there is anyone left.

And for those who awarded me –

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image from here.

Indian Idle

Indian Idle“Hello everyone! I am Nitin Haddkari and you are watching a very special episode of Celebrity Indian Idle! Please welcome our judges for tonight’s show. Our first judge is our very own number 2, Mr. Raul Gandhi…..” 

“What does Raul know about dance?” Mrs. Shukla who was sitting in the crowd whispered to her neighbour.

“Does it matter? What do Sajid Khan, Karan Johar and Mithun Chakraborty know about dance?” Mrs. Taneja replied.

“And why is Haddkari even hosting this show?” Mrs. Shukla asked.

“What else is there to do now? Besides, his hairy legs are turning me on,” Mrs. Taneja replied.

“Ummm. Me too.” 

“….Our second judge for tonight is Asaram Beg-u, who has taken out time from his busy schedule to be on this show. We had to beg for his presence because that is what he likes to see people do……”

“Christ!” Mrs. Shukla gasped.

“……….Our third judge is my driver Mansukhiya. Mansukhiya has been a loyal servant of our family from the last 20 years and is the CEO of one of my companies. So let’s have a round of applause for our judges and let’s begin the show!!”

The judges take their seats. Raul and Asaram Beg-u have quite a tussle for the centre seat but then Raul points at Rob-us Wadra sitting in the audience. Beg-u mumbles somethings like ‘bloody national calamity’ and sits on one of the side seats. Mansukhiya sits on the floor before Haddkari comes and yanks his arm and say something like ‘Are you Chu*iya?’ and pushes him on one of the seat. 

“Our first contestant is the very gorgeous Sonak-chi Sinha! She has done some amazing award-winning work last year in movies like Rowdy Rathore, Joker, Dabangg 2 and Son of Sardar! Please welcome!” Haddkari announces.

sonakshi_sinha_in_red_saree-1600x900All 130 kg of Sonak-chi Sinha enters the stage in a bright red sari. The song Po-Po-Po-Po-Po fills the auditorium and Sonak-chi gargles to the tune. The audience cheer her loudly. Shatru-gun Sinha is in tears to see his baby girl do him proud.

“That was a perfect performance! Judges what do you have to say to this?” Haddkari asks the judges as Sonak-chi stands next to him chewing her finger.

“I loved it! Sonak-chi, your performance reminded me of our scams. The gargle step is so much like the way we have gargled the citizens of the nation and spit them out. Outstanding!” Raul beamed.

“It was a beautiful performance. Sonak-chi, will you come to my camp and dance with me?” Asaram ji asked shyly.

“Rubbish performance! Ye koi dance hai (Is this dance)?” Mansukhiya mumbled. There is a collective gasp and everyone stares at him. Haddkari throws his mike at him.

“Saale harami! Nikal bahar! Bahar nikal! (Bloody illegitimate! Get out! Out get!)” Haddkari screams as he drags Mansukhiya out. Sonak-chi is bawling by now.

“Khamosh!” Shatru-gun Sinha screams from the audience podium which makes Sonak-chi instantly stop and shudder.

“Sorry ladies and gentlemen! Mansukhiya will be replaced by Kanta Ben who is my maid and the Chairman of one of my companies,” Haddkari announces. Kanta Ben comes and sits next to Raul. She smells of phenyl which makes Raul dizzy. He looks at Asaram Beg-u and is alarmed by a cockroach stumbling out of his beard.

“Our next contestant is our very own silencer MaunMohan Singh!” Haddkari announces.

MaunMohan Singh enters the stage and waves at the audience. He then proceeds to stand in the exact middle of the stage and stares at the audience for two minutes. He then looks at Haddkari and says – done. Raul is in tears by now.

“What a wonderfully poignant performance! Judges what do you have to say?”

“This was by far your best performance MaunMohan Ji. I am short of words,” Raul says wiping off his tears using Kanta Ben’s pallu. He almost faints in the process.

“You remind me so much of all those silent movies I have watched as a child. You have revived my old memories,” Asaram says wiping a sole tear with his beard.

“Aigo! Mast performance! After all, you have been practicing from the last 9 years.” Kanta Ben says.

ramdev“It seems MaunMohan ji have won the heart of our judges! Our next performance is a belly dance by the one and only Baba Rum-de! Please welcome!”

Baba Rum-de enters the stage and performs a unique belly dance called Kapalbhati where he flips alternate coins on his belly. He then makes the coins jump in air as the dance becomes fierce and his belly quivers alarmingly. One of the coin lands in Asaram’s beard and kills the cockroach residing there.

“That was one sexy performance Babaji. Lets ask the…..,” Haddkari said.

“You killed him! You bloody killer! You killed Abhimanyu!” Asaram was up on his seat before Haddkari could complete his sentence.

“Who in seven hells is Abhimanyu?” Raul asked.

“The cockroack,” Asaram said sobbing.

“Why did he name his pet cockroach Abhimanyu?” Mrs. Shukla whispered.

“Maybe it was his beard. The poor thing might have been lost in that chakravyuh for years,” Mrs. Taneja whispered back.

“What do you have to say Raul ji?” HaddKari asked.

“I loved it. It was very arousing,” Raul replied.

“Oh! You haven’t seen arousing yet *wink wink*. Kanta Ben?” HaddKari said.

“Mast! Mast! What a stomach! Jusht like the utensils after I clean them”

“Thank you Rum-de ji. It was an honour watching you dance. Our next participant is the sexy, the seductive, the pole-bearer Sunny le-nahi. Please welcome!”

SharonStone-GadkariA pole is fitted in the center of the stage and Sunny enters wrapped in a plastic sheet. The pole dance starts amidst wide eyes and rising trousers. Haddkari crosses his legs like Sharon Stone. Mrs. Shukla sighs and faints. Beg-u hides his face with his beard. Kanta Ben whispers deva-re-deva and covers Raul’s eyes with her pallu. He thrashes desperately for fresh air but chokes and faints. During the dance, the plastic sheet covering Sunny gets entangled in a nail on the pole and comes free. Kanta Ben faints too. Sunny keeps dancing. Haddkari is on all five begging for mercy. Rob-us Wadra whistles and fires shots in air from his expensive gun. The audience thrust their children under the seats. Bachelors are busy making video of the once-in-a-lifetime event. Married men stare at the ground as their wives study them intensely. Suddenly the programme goes off air.

There is an uproar on Twitter and internet about the way the programme turned vulgar in the end. A committee is organised. It is found that PoleMeBaby, the company that provided the pole used in Sunny’s performance is at fault as all this happened because of the nail. The licence of the company is cancelled.

And, of course, Sunny le-nahi wins the first prize of Celebrity Indian Idle. 

[images from 1,2,3,4]

The Middle Finger Awards 2012

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Welcome to the Middle Finger Awards 2012 presented by Mashed Musings. The awards honors the best news makers of 2012 in various categories. We are committed to an unbiased and honest approach toward selecting the nominees and the winners. If you have any concerns about any of the winners not deserving his/her award, please keep it to yourself.
So, lets begin the ceremony.

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*Drum rolls. Trumpets Blaring*

Here is the first category :

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The Middle Finger Award for the Most Courageous act of 2012

And the nominees are :

Dr. Manmohan Singh – for gathering enough courage to address the nation 7 days after the protests and letting everyone know that he too is a father and there aren’t enough commandoes protecting his daughters. Theek hai?

Sheila Dixit – for having the courage to come to Jantar Mantar and lightening something that looked like a half burnt candle while the crowd booed her.

Anushka Sharma – for wearing a blue XXL vest in Kashmir for a Yash Chopra movie.

Delhi Police Chief, Neeraj Kumar – for his courageous act to save Delhi Police from further shame and twisting facts. Apparently, he hasn’t heard the story of the shepherd and the wolf.

Madhura Honey – for her courageous act of walking with the Indian team in Olympics opening ceremony in a red top and blue jeans looking completely out of place. Just like all those students in Student of the Year.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drum rolls* Manmohan Singh!!!! For his courageous bland as boiled pasta speech to pacify the nation.

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Our next category is :

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The Middle Finger Award for the Most limelight hungry Indian of 2012

The nominees are –

Abhijit Mukherjee – for the dented painted comment and letting Indians know that the President has a big mouthed son.

Kailash Vijayvargiya, Madhya Pradesh Minister – for talking about Laxman Rekha when he should have actually zipped it up.

Banwari Lal Singhal, BJP MLA, Rajasthan – for being disturbed by girls wearing skirts as he found it difficult to take his eyes off their legs.

Haryana Khaps – for leaving no stone unturned to be on national media and make us realize that humans haven’t completely evolved from apes.

Dharamvir Goyat, Haryana Congress member – for sharing his pearls of wisdom with us about 90% of rape cases being consensual.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drum rolls* the Haryana Khaps for their consistency in churning out drivel!!!

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Our next category is :

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The Middle Finger Award for The Best Blind Eye of 2012.

The nominees are –

Delhi Police – for using teargas, water cannons and Lathis on college students and women and then wondering why people threw stones at them.

BJP ministers in Karnataka – for turning a blind eye towards all the cameras pointed at them as they enjoyed porn in the assembly.

Indian Citizens – for craving for popcorn while they circled the rape victim lying naked, shivering and bleeding on the road.

Indian Politicians – for ignoring thousands of rape victims till waves of people came out on roads and threw stones.

Vijay Mallya – for donating 3 Kg gold to Tirupati temple while his employees went without salary for months.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drum rolls* the Indian Citizens for achieving the impossible of turning back the clock of human evolution.

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Lets move to the next category which is :

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The Middle Finger Award for the Most Confused Indian

The nominees are –

Pratibha Patil – for pardoning rapists and murderers and getting confused about her right to not to be a puppet who has to sign a pardon when asked.

Sushil Kumar Shinde – for confusing students with Maoists.

Arvind Kejriwal – for confusing the nation by jumping from one issue to another and giving everyone a terrible headache.

Saif Ali Khan – for his role in the movie Cocktail where he confused the audience in the first half into believing that he wasn’t playing an assho*e.

Delhi Police – for discussing confusing matters of jurisdiction as the rape victim and her friend lay on the road naked and bleeding.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drums roll* Pratibha Patil for letting loose deranged criminals on the society.

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The next category is :

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The Middle Finger Award for the most Dramatic Indian of 2012

And the nominees are –

Salman Khurshid – for his saas Bahu dialogues about replacing ink with blood if Arvind Kejriwal tried to enter his domain. No shit.

Robert Vadra – for collecting unmatched black wealth, mocking the nation and then getting away with it by saying something with a mango and banana in it.

Mamata Banerjee – for her histrionics by equating rapes to political conspiracies and asking profound questions like why men and women are allowed to mingle in our society.

Ponty brothers – for their swift and fortunate exit from the world.

Suresh Kalmadi – for having the nerve to express his desire to attend Olympics after being released on bail for the CWG scam.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drum rolls* Robert Vadra for his unmatched feat of taking the whole nation for a ride.

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The next category is :

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The Middle Finger Award of the most Senselessly Swift Indian of 2012

The nominees are –

Mumbai Police – for their swift response in arresting two girls for stating the truth on Facebook.

Delhi Police – for swiftly arresting 8 random men after a constable died in the protests and filing an FIR without any proof.

Akbaruddin Owaisi – for swiftly going underground in London after his arrest warrant was out in India.

Indian Government – for swiftly moving the rape victim to Singapore when it became apparent that she was not going to live.

The Dengue Mosquito – for swiftly taking away the king of romance, Yash Chopra in the blink of an eye.

And the Middle Finger goes to *drums roll* The Indian Government for acting in the nick of time to save themselves from the blame of the rape victim’s death.

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The Middle Finger Lifetime Achievement Award

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The  award goes to the man who held a whole city to ransom for years, who divided the country on the basis of the state in which you live and who wore sunglasses even in dark rooms – Shri Balasaheb Thackeray.

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That’s it for this year folks! We sincerely hope that the viewers enjoyed the awards ceremony and congratulations to the most deserving winners. We will be back next year with more fun filled categories!!!

[image from 12, 3]

Some Random lines on a paper

There was a time when I had a lot of time at my hands, time enough to paint and sketch. And then life happened.
I shifted home a year back. The most heart-strumming experince of moving a house is that all your memories which you have stacked away in boxes come tumbling out. You past dances a full-monty and your brain pulls out images which you thought were lost somewhere. So, as I picked up these sketches from a cardboard box ten years after they were made, there was a smile on my face remembering a life that seems like a forgotten dream now.
When I made these sketches, I thought they were perfect but now I can see the mistakes I have made. Urmila’s eyes need more work and Sridevi looks like a cross between herself and Divya Bharti. Raveena’s lips look as if she is straining them against a glass window and Aamir does not have teeth.
But let me not bore you with the nitty-gritty. Go ahead and enjoy these wisps of my memories.

Rekha

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If you liked the sketches, you might also like a few of my paintings.
Before you leave, I have a few more things to say. A few days back, I was given two blog awards. I haven’t thanked the bloggers who gave me those awards, so here goes –

Ricky gave me the Liebester award a few weeks back.
Sapna gave me the Best Blog of 2012 award.

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Thank you Sapna and Rickie for all the praise and considering my blog. Both of you made my day.

And in the end, please do not forget to promote my story idea for the Get Published contest on Indiblogger sponsered by Harper Collins by pressing the Like button on this link –

http://www.indiblogger.in/getpublished/idea/237/

Of Awards, giants, faces and clouds

Rashid gave me the Inspiring blog award. To have the ability to inspire someone is a daunting prospect and I have no idea how to go about it but I (hurridly and gluttonously) accept the honour. A big thanks to Rashid for mentioning me and for the white pigeon (a word I could have never spelled correctly if someone had not thought of putting a red zigzag line below it)

Now, I am supposed to tell you seven facts about me as it is the second stage of the ceremony of passing the award. This will not be a great revelation sort of a stage where I will confess that I want to be an actor (which I don’t) and win Oscars (which I don’t) OR I find the way Sushma Swaraj speaks to be very aphrodisiacal (which I don’t) but I will tell you something very subtle and boring about me. So, do not expect fireworks. Here goes:

  1. I like toilet rolls with small Braille like dots on them. You can find loads on them in Big Bazaar. When I sit in Auguste Rodin’s ‘The Thinker’ pose every morning, I love to run my fingers on the dots on the toilet roll. I imagine someone has left a secret message on the roll and I try to decipher it by running my fingers over it. The-treasure-is-in-a-house-which-is-on-the-darkest-cloud-at-the-end-of-the-world. That kind of messages.
  2. I like houses with all the furniture and every essential commodity in them but devoid of any people. I roam around and visit every room, briskly touching things, rubbing memories off them. I imagine as if everyone in the world has died in a nuclear attack and I am the last survivor. This is a stranger’s house and I have entered it to see if I can find some food. Sometimes I try to see my own house through the eyes of a stranger. It is a funny feeling.
  3. I like looking at people when they are not aware that I am looking at them. I hide myself and enjoy their expressions – happiness, despair, plain sadness, time travel, introspection. Our faces are like poetry. They say a lot when they are alone or when they think they are alone.
  4. I watch movies when I read books. I wear my director’s cap and choose a star cast. It is a mix of Bollywood and Hollywood actors. I give them costumes, makeup, sets, outdoors, background score, expressions, voices and then I sit back and enjoy the movie. I am probably the only director who has reels of hundreds of movies stacked up in his brain – the movies only he could see.
  5. I love to see Geet sleeping next to me. I find comfort in her rhythmic breathing. I could tell when she is drowning farther in the ocean of sleep by the way her breathing becomes deeper. I could tell when she is dreaming when I see her eyeballs moving here and there beneath the canvas of her eyelids. I could tell that the dream is good when she smiles.
  6. I like to surround myself with mountains. Call it genetic because Mom was born on hills but I find a strange comfort in being dwarfed by peaks. They turn into giants surrounding me, protecting me in their valley. And I find vehicles moving on twisted roads on those mountains equally entertaining. They are like ants running on the cloaks of those giants. Imagine what would happen if they ruffle the cloak?
  7. I like dark clouds. I do not like rains that much but I like to stare at the shades of grey and whites rushing past in the sky. They are like layers and layers of water flying in the air. I feel like a fish standing under them. Is that how a fish feels when he looks at the layers of ocean above him?

Hopefully, I would not come across a loony after reading these 7 facts and you will not throw a stone at me when we meet?

I am supposed to pass the award to a few bloggers whose blog I love to read and who can now continue the cycle of pasing the award. Congratulations to everyone. This is a big honour, something similar to getting my autograph.

Here they are –

R’s Mom

GODYEARS

Some facts, Some Nonsense

The Shooting Star

This and That

Can you be fair Filmfare?

Katrina – I don’t care which award function this is. I just have to move my hips.

In the last decade, the number of award functions for honoring shoddy Bollywood movies and catering to star fantasies of holding any inane trophy has reached an alarming crescendo. You flip one channel and there is an award function going on where SRK is doing a gig. Flip again and lo! There he is again. So much that we have stopped caring which award function we are watching. Some actress is moving her hips wildly (dancing) with a hundred sweaty half-naked men around her. Someone is getting a weird looking trophy shaped like a sex toy and is misty eyed. If you sum it up, everyone in the industry gets at least one award each year. Everyone is happy. The supply in unfortunately and alarmingly greater than the deservers.

I don’t have a problem with all the needless awards. It gives the actors a relief from the obtuse films they are doing. It’s a mammoth PR activity for all the Toms, Dicks and Harrys who are organizing them. The nation gets to see stars making fun of each other and achieve nirvana in the process. And we all get the proof of how good an actor Amitabh Bachchan is by seeing his expressionless face every time Rekha appears on the stage. Again and again and again.

But I have a problem with a perticular award which regrettably is also the oldest one. Filmfare.

Back in the 90s when I started getting a beard and getting interested in Bollywood at the same time, Filmfare was the only award functioning in all its glory. All the actors would fall over each other every year to get one trophy. It was considered an achievement. No wonder they were called the Indian Oscars. And it was during the 90s, when the problem started. Suddenly mediocrity was in. Sometimes the nominations were baffling.

Sample this:

And then this:

Vyajanthimala – after she heard that Katrina was nominated for Filmfare award for Best actress.

Do you see the corruption, the decay that has seeped in? I do not have a problem with Ranbir Kapoor winning the award. He deserved it but the nominations were truly WTF! Ajay Devgan, Salman Khan and SRK had no business being in the 2012 list. The movies for which they were nominated were big blockbuster craps and their acting in them was equally garish. Similarly for 1996, I could not understand what Govinda and Salman were doing in the nominations. How could India’s oldest award fall to such apathy? How could Filmfare, which nominated Om Puri for Ardha Satya could possibly nominate Salman Khan for Bodyguard? If this is not playing to the tunes of stardom, then I don’t know what is!

Looking at the nomination list might give you a feeling that most of them are just fillers because nothing better is available. Nothing can be far from the truth. Dhobi Ghat, Yeh Saali Zindagi, Memories in March, Shor in the City, I Am, Shaitan, I Am Kalam, That Girl in Yellow Boots, Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster were the movies which deserved a wider appreciation but were royally mistreated. Some of them were given a few nominations here and there but a majority of them were sidelined.

Being the oldest and the most respected award comes with a responsibility – to promote talent, to promote directors who dare to be different and do not turn into money making machines. Filmfare would have taken up this responsibility. Instead they use “Critics” award category so that the stars could be kept happy. And that is how Dabangg got the best movie award in 2011 instead of Udaan which was given the “Critics” awards. It was like saying – Look! We know Udaan is much superior but sorry we prefer giving awards to movies in which the hero rips off his shirt by expanding his muscles. So, better luck next time! There are numerous examples from the last decade where mediocre and puke-worthy films and performances have been nominated.

Yes, common man votes for these awards. Its 50% people’s choice and 50% Jury’s choice and that is how it has been since the 1950s. But the whole idea of a movie award is to give recognition to the best movies of the year, movies which had some substance in them, movies which were created for the love of the art and not just for churning cash. If the votes coming in each year are not at par and are actually a threat to good cinema, would it not be a good idea to abolish the practice and let only the jury decide?

I stopped watching telecast of Filmfare awards ten years back. I want to see Filmfare Awards honour movies that matter, to recognise performances instead of stars, to recognise art instead of commercial success.

I hope one day I will be able to watch the ceremony without flinching.

[images from 1,2,3]

Feminism, A and the Award

Ages ago, I was tagged by Nita and Sulz and till now I have been shamelessly ignoring the tags. But the guilt is killing me and I must finish the task assigned to me. Keeping the melodrama aside, I’ll start with Nita’s tag. This is what she tagged me to write about.

What does Feminism means to me

First of all, I was not sure what the word meant, so I landed up in an online dictionary and this is what popped up there : 

fem·i·nism n.  

1. Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

2. The movement organized around this belief.
Ahem! Well, I think, the socio economic structure of the society in which we live plays an important role in determining the level of the “movement”. When the First wave came, India was still fighting for its freedom and there was no way it could have affected her. When the second wave came in the 1960s, India was all up and ready for it. Even today when we are in the third wave, an American society is much mature when it comes to a woman choosing the kind of life she wants to lead. In India, we still beat up the girl if she falls in love with a guy outside her cast. Infact, even if you compare the freedom given to women in a city with a small town/village in India, you would be shocked by the difference. After three waves, we still have to go a long way in India. Even after having laws in place, there are rapes, sexual feminism1harassment, forced abortions, forced reproductions, domestic violence etc and what not! People still think that women are vulnerable because they are weak but its just because of the kind of environment we are all brought up in. I am sure any woman who is a black belt in Karate can throw me two feet towards the sky with a single chop. 🙂
The problem is in our brains. We are wired in a wrong fashion from the time we are born. Women are not born vulnerable but are taught to be so. Similarly men are not born strong. They pick it up from what they see in their family and surroundings. I could never understand how we reached a stage where a human has to ask for her rights? And what surprises me is that we are still there. 
All these issues are way too big, but people need to understand the basic rights of an individual. I can understand when a father asks her daughter to return home before twilight because raping a girl is becoming an activity as common as wiping your ass with a tissue. But, I cannot understand when he asks her to forget the guy she loves because he does not belong to the same community. I find that laughable. Similarly, I don’t believe that a homemaker is worse off than a working woman. Its a very individual choice and depends on many factors. Equality of sexes certainly does not mean that a woman has to work to be a true blue feminist. 
It all boils down to the theory of Live and let live. We all make sacrifices in our life, but let’s not force someone to make a sacrifice because of her gender.

The alphabet A

aSulz’s tag. I have to write 7(?) words starting with alphabet A. I am putting up words which describe me. Here goes :

Absurd – Yes!Yes! I am ridiculous, illogical and senseless at times, but then even God is sometimes! So you see, no one is perfect. 😛 

Able – Leaving aside the fact that I am destiny’s favourite toy, I am quite able if I am left to my own means. If I find something interesting enough, I’ll take it up with perfect dexterity till the time I get completely bored of it. I told you I was absurd! 😛

Assiduous – I have obtained this quality from my Mom. Whenever I have to shop for clothes and I take her with me, she picks up clothes which are poles apart from my taste and then both of us “assiduously” attempt to disparage each other. 😐 Well, I consider it to be a good quality. Atleast I pick up clothes of my choice and I always win! 🙂

Aloof – I can be alarmingly aloof with strangers, so much that I am mistaken as an Egotist whose nose is always at an angle of 80 degrees from the ground. Many of my friends were surprised when they dared to know me better after that initial cold shoulder. 

Amiable – Well! That is what I actually become once I allow you to be my friend. 🙂 Its a difficult path and only a few daredevils have dared. 😛

Anchor – Whenever I become a part of a group, I end up becoming the anchor which holds the group together after everyone moves away to their new life/city. I met a group of friends recently after 7 years and again(!!!!) it was me who made all the phone calls and arranged the meeting. Good old Amit!

The awards

Finally, the awards. I was given the Friendship Embracelet by Kiran sometime back and the Garland Award by Kanagu. Thankyou both of you. 🙂

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garland

That is all guys and girls. Over and out.

Its raining awards!!!

Results for The Avant Grade Bloggies Awards were announced today. To say that I was pleasantly surprised would be a colossal understatement. I nearly jumped out of my skin initially but then accepted the results with all humility. 🙂 Frankly speaking, I was expecting to win in 2-3 categories, but winning in 8 categories was too much to handle. I was overwhelmed! 

Thankyou Poonam for coming up with this concept and spreading all this happiness. Thankyou Judges and the scrutinizing committee members who thought that my posts were worthy enough to be considered as there were some wonderful posts nominated alongside mine. And finally Thankyou everyone who voted for me. I am short of words right now to express my gratitude.

I wish that the Avant Grade Awards return every year and become a benchmark for bloggers.

Here is the list of Awards I won:

Most interesting personal rant postThe Burning Taxi and the Eggless Mob

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Most insane postThe Hitchhikers Guide to Lose A Guy


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Best current affairs postRaping Bonanza in Orissa

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Most informative post award (link blogging)Invisible Dimensions

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Best visual post :  Paintings


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Best satirical postDelhi Bomb Blasts: A Pigeons View


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Best “About me” page award

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Most interesting sidebar award(Shared with Nita)


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Most humorous post(Runner Up)Matrimonially Yours


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Thankyou everyone for the encouragement!!!

Notes to myself : I might shall could may have to create a new awards page this weekend.

Randomizer Revolutions

image008Smita and Vishesh awarded me the Butterfly award and the Cup. Thank you so much guys!!! I really have to make a new page for my awards section before my sidebar exceeds the distance between the Earth and the moon. I am supposed to pass this award to  bloggers I like. So, I would like this opportunity to pass this award to Nita, Liju Philip, Amreekan DesiPr3rna and Trailblazer

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image014I am officially closing the Salsa Diaries Category. I have attended the first few classes with enthusiasm but then this new work came along and I got really busy. We are creating a new website for our client which is supposed to go live in January, so loads of work and no time for Salsa. I was really doing great. 😦

 

image009I was also busy with photo shoot and release of my new album. I had such a great time recording it and it was really sweet of Paris to come and release it in front of the press. Also I would like to thank Madonna for being a part of the video shoot and for singing a song with me. The female models were great during the promotional photo shoots but I am a little unhappy about my pictures in the exhibition. I didn’t like the red ones. Here is a sneak peek.  photofunia_a97cc5

 Here is Paris unfolding my new album in front of the media

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Madonna grooving to my new song – “You gave me wings at the wrong place”

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A model at the promotional photo shoot for the new album. The designers of the dress had such a harrowing time as it kept on unhooking. It was quite fragile.

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The promotional Exhibition in New York

image007I always knew that our directors copy Hollywood movies and our Music directors copy Korean songs blatantly but can we at least make original movie posters? 

detaalicloserAt least they could have changed the positions of the males and females OR AM I ASKING FOR TOO MUCH? Never mind! 😐

image013So, Congress won again in Delhi!!! Well, I think the simple logic is that if the people have to choose between a government “who is incapable of fighting terrorism and is elemental in the development of the area” AND the one “who is incapable of fighting terrorism”, then they would definitely choose the former. Its another story that the “development” is happening because of the Commonwealth Games and both the parties are equally bad at handling terrorism. 

image016I am having this feeling that I am turning into a major success as an Agony Uncle. Many of my friends turn to me whenever they have problems in their love life. I sit and listen to them very very patiently and give some sound advise, which thankfully has not backfired till date. One of my friend even took my advice about whether he should go ahead and have sex with this girl he met a few months back. Ok, that’s not the full story. The girl was about to get married to someone else and just wanted to “have” my friend once before she got married to the other guy. I don’t remember the last time I moved my head from right to left to right so vigorously. My friend who was ready to take the plunge under the stress of testosterone was somehow rescued by Yours truly. And………………………………………….I just now realised that he reads my blog. 

image001I am completely in love…….with this song. There is something very suave and romantic about it. (the video is not that great and it would be good if you don’t see the message which comes at the end of the video. I have been laughing ever since I saw it)

 

Dimage011o you believe in signs? Sometimes such strange things happen which do not make sense at all. A few days back, mom was coming back from the market and she took a rickshaw. After she got down and paid the rickshaw puller, he returned back the balance. This is what he gave her – 

img_2290img_2289Now last I remember, the Britishers left in 1947 and my mom gave him 10 Rs while he returned back 85 Rs(=1 Pound). Does that make sense? Is this some sort of a sign for me? Am I going visit the Queen’s land?

With this incredibly positive thought, I will end this post.

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Vote for me!!!

vote-or-dieThe final nominations of the Avant Garde Bloggies Awards have been released today! It was a painstakingly long and exhilarating process which was initiated by Poonam in September by this post. The Judges and the scrutinising committee worked for almost a month to reach the final list of nominations. The beautiful badges were created by Chirag

Now why the hell am I telling you about this? Well, like politicians, I too have my own selfish reasons which are twofold. One, I want all of you to go and vote for my posts which have been nominated and second, I want all of you to read all the other beautiful posts which are nominated! Ok, the second one is a little lame but you can read the other posts after you have voted for me. That’s fair enough! 🙂

So vote for me! This is your only chance to do something meaningful and exciting in your boring and meandering life! To ease the course of action, here are the links to the categories in which I am nominated. Just click on the link and vote in the poll box. In case you want to read my posts which are nominated, the links are available in the poll posts.

Best Current Affairs Post – Raping Bonanza in Orissa

Best Book Review – A Thousand Splendid Suns/The Book Thief

Best Satirical Post – Delhi Bomb Blasts : A Pegion’s View

Best Social Issues Post – The Price of being different

Most Informative Post – Invisible Dimensions

Best Short story Post – Valentine Valium

Most Insane post – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to lose a guy

Best Personal Rant Post – The Burning taxi and the Eggless Mob

Most Humorous Post – Matrimonially Yours

Best Visual Post – Paintings

Best “About Me”

Most Interesting Sidebar

That’s it!!! Get going people. Lots of ground to cover!! 😀