Hashtag and Tantreshwar

HashtagsFor someone who has a name as ubiquitous as a paan stained wall in India, it is impossibly difficult to understand the fact that people do have unique names. I have always hated my name. A.M.I.T. It ends even before it begins, just like premature ejaculation. It’s like a small blip of hope on a heart rate monitor in the otherwise death announcing straight line. It is like our paltry existence in the vast timeline of the universe.

When I was born, Amitabh Bachchan was at his peak taking bullets by a dozen, romancing girls who couldn’t even reach his chest (and marrying someone who barely reached his pelvis), dancing with lights blinking on his costume and dethroning Rajesh Khanna. He was called Amit ji by the planet and that unfortunately turned into a tragedy for me. My star struck parents christened me with the superstar’s name and thus started the painful story of my struggle. My Daak name (nickname) at home was Rishi, named after Rishi Kapoor who had just exploded in Bollywood with BobbyAmar Akbar Anthony and Sargam, thus completing my choking and heart wrenching association with Bollywood.

Amitabh BachchhanIf you are born in India with a name like mine, you will be pretty much used to the fact that screaming this name in a public place packed with people (like a bus, train or a cinema hall) will make 90% of the men turn around and stare at you. There were 4 Amits in my class in 12th which was stressful to the limit of insanity. Try searching me on Facebook and you will have to rummage through 38,49,237 humans with the same name. There are so many men with the said name in my office module that it takes a lot of effort to concentrate on your work instead of turning your head every time someone takes your name. The irony is that if you do not turn your head, it was actually you who were being addressed. Not a single day passes when I do not let 6-7 people know on my office communicator that I am not the one they are searching for to discuss the defect status. I have even modified my status on the communicator to ‘Wrong Amit’ but it is not working. There was this girl who pinged me a few days back and giggled (in written) that she saw my ‘wrong Amit’ status but still wanted to confirm. Maybe I should change my status to – I like slurping human intestines.

As I was growing up and struggling with my name, I noticed a change happening in the last two decades. There was a sudden jostle to give unique names to children. I think this was the only sensible decision taken by Indians in the last 20 years. And now that generation has grown up and suddenly the attendance registers in schools do not look like photocopies of each other. Amit, Rahul, Sunil, Raj and Sumit have been replaced by Aatmaj, Samyak, Hridayanshu, Saksham, Shivankur and Mantram. Priya, Ruchi, Pooja, Aarti and Smita have been replaced by Avni, Samvidha, Kaumudi, Matangi, Adveshi and Tarunima.

PinkleHaving a unique name is not always a harbinger for peaceful existence. In the blind race to showcase their children as exceptional, parents usually forget that their children are global nomads of the future. A lot of them will visit foreign land and thus naming your child Ak-shit or Shit-ij might have disastrous results. When I read in the newspaper that an American mom has named her child Hashtag, I understood how far the unique name virus has spread. Imagine a school going Hashtag being bullied in school and crying in front of her mother.

“You are one of a kind my child! You make topics trend on Twitter. All those mad humans on Twitter cannot survive without you,” Hashtag’s mother will console her.

Poor Tantreshwar (this is a real name of a boy in Geet’s class) will have a hard life too. His parents must brace themselves for a lifetime of verbal abuses which their son will hurl at them for making him a laughing-stock. Also, his parents will have to find some girl named Chandalika to marry him because no normal girl will go beyond what-is-your-name with him before falling off her chair laughing. Looking at the brighter side, Tantreshwar and Chandalika’s wedding card will be a thing for museums.

Parents need to strike a fine balance while naming their children. Giving him a name as bland as Amit is as bad as naming him after a black magician who sacrifices babies and drinks their blood OR naming her after a special character whom boys will trend instead of date. You might say that changing your name will be a step in the right direction in such scenarios. No, it is not. I remember a boy called Pinkle in my school. After going through a lifetime of being a laughing-stock he changed his name to Prateek. He wasn’t as fortunate as Pi Patel. Everyone still called him Pinkle.

Shakespeare once said – What’s in a name? Well, he was mighty lucky that he did not say that in Hashtag’s, Tantreshwar’s or Pinkle’s presence. He would have ended up with a broken, bleeding nose.

99 comments on “Hashtag and Tantreshwar

  1. Haha nice one!your name may end before it begins but it signifies what cannot be erased.How is that for consolation?

    You have written
    ” our paltry existence in the vast timeline of the universe.”
    And by a strange coincidence i too have just published a post about the same fact.

  2. So many people I know don’t like their name or atleast not much… my kids didn’t like the names I chose for them, though I thought the names were unique and meaningful, I suggested they change before the tenth boards, but by then they were ‘too used to the name’ 🙂 But I agree some parents take it just too far 🙂

    • Pinkle is a classic example of what not to name your child. What were they thinking? That guy went through so much trauma in school that I used to pity him. Even when he changed his name, no one bothered.

  3. I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what our parents named us, we would have still not been happy 🙂 My name was exceedingly common too -and even worse, because unlike your Amitabh connection, it was Silk Smitha for me. *shudder* The only saving grace being that my parents had no idea when they named me that someone like her would come to haunt me 🙂

    While we named daughter, we had a strategy by which all names with potential problems like those which had ‘shit’ in them like Ishita, etc were summarily dismissed 🙂 Now I just hope no Bollywood starlet comes up with same name as daughters 🙂 Fingers crossed 🙂

    As for Hashtag and Tantreshwar – what can we say 🙂

    • And so many people call me Amit Ji at times that I wonder if they are making fun of me. 🙂
      I think you really can’t blame your parents for your name as they had no idea what was going to happen in the future, but mine was a different case. It was a deed commited in all awareness. 🙂
      ‘Shit’ names are a common problem now. I remember the uproar that happened when an anchor made fun of Sheila Dikshit’s sirname.

  4. What a good Monday morning read Amit! Err… my boss’s name is also Amit! 😛 I like your daak naam better than your bhalo naam! My sympathies with you. Throughout my education life, I had multiple Abhisheks, Tanusrees, Priyankas & Poulomis as my classmates. My name is a unique one! But the brunt I face is that, in Delhi-NCR, hardly anyone pronounces my name correctly. One of them even found it as hard as a tongue twister! 😮 My mother wanted to name me Brishti which means rain in bengali but my father was against it & saying that ppl will make fun of me in hot summery day without any sign of rain! Gah! Hashtag & Tantreshwar sound unbelievable! I hope you come up with unique yet simple names for your children!

    • Thanks for the sympathies. Much appreciated. 🙂
      Brishti would have been a very funny name. Parents really need to understand that their children are going to work and stay in a variety of places and a name should have a universal appeal.

      • Your post reminded me of a in my school. Her name is Anyapurba. The meaning of the name is – A whose fiance has died. Weird to the core! Why on earth would parents/relatives name a baby with such an inauspicious meaning word?

        Gangs of Wasseypur 2 had some interesting names… Perpendicular, Definite et al! 😀

  5. Tantreshwar … seriously 😀 but you are not the only one A.M.I.T.. My name even has gender confusion (well almost every sikh’s does 😛 ) so you can imagine how many times I turn my head….

    I made it a point that my son at least won’t have preet and deep stuck to his name 🙂

    • There was this guy and girl in my college with the same name – Harmeet. Everytime anyone would call one of them, they would give this expression of disbelief. Please specify Kaur of Singh, both of them would say. 🙂

  6. Very interesting post. 🙂

    I have a very common name, too, but I sort of like it. I have grown to love it. 🙂

    Hashtag and Tantreshwar – well, poor guys! Imagine the amount of teasing that these kids will have to bear. 😦 Some parents go overboard in their quest for the uniquest of names for their children.

  7. When we are given our names, we are left to bear them like the proverbial cross all our lives. Changing the name hardly works as you have pointed out in Pinkle’s case. The reason I adopted my virtual name was my exasperation with my real one. And if it is any consolation, Amit is not as common as Smith or Kim. How about that? 😀

    • You too don’t like your name? I think I have touched a raw nerve of a lot of bloggers. 🙂
      I hope that in the coming years, we will see a decline in the usage of Amit.

  8. OK I too had a Pinkle in my school batch, and I seriously thought her mum took eating pickle during pregnancy way too seriously 😛
    😯 😯 Tantreshwar is sure being cruel and over imaginative as far naming a little innocent child, who can’t resist the choices parents make for them 😦
    I personally feel very few people on this planet actually like their name, count me in, I too didn’t like the ring of my name though it isn’t too common but not unique either.
    I think I got enough fodder to do a post rather spamming your comment section.
    Though I think you name actually stands for your limitless talents & capabilities, so go tell the world you are Amit who has taken his name seriously 😉

    • A lot of students in my class called the guy Pickle. And I don’t get it how parents can call their child Tantreshwar. Its insane.
      Thanks for trying to make me feel good about my name. I think its not working. 😛

  9. this just happened yesterday. i took my daughter to temple,
    priest : wat’s her name?
    me: Advika.
    Priest: what the meaning?
    me; Unique. its means someone special and different.. ( as he didnt know English, i tried explaining him in telugu).
    priest: is the name according to the star?
    me: no, i like it.
    Priest: so, u think there will be nobody else named as Advika? if so, she will no longer remain unique.( he because so furious after knowing that its not a star based name)
    me: she will always remain unique to me. ( he didn’t know wat to reply).
    but it created more prob, as he told this in front of my MIL.. so, she is like, see even the priest didn’t like the name.. that is yet another story.. :)..

  10. I have another problem you see, my names is not lyrical because there is no n or m or l, or a little bit of softness with s! It has a good meaning, like most names do, but really it’s a big deal to live upto it 😉 So there you are, you seem to have lots of company!

    • OMG! I haven’t dissected my name like that because there aren’t many alphabets to begin with. But yes, I am glad that I have fellow sufferers to console me. 🙂

  11. my sympathy with you for not liking your own name… 🙂
    btw, Tantreshwar…. and Hashtag… Too good.. 😀
    i am kind of ok with my name… but even though it is very simple people never get it at first go… they will always ask Neeta? no??? Neena?? Leena???? what?? Oh!! Leela… 😦 i dont know what will they do when they meet Tantreshwar…

    • Thanks Neela. Your name is not very common but yes as you mentioned, it can be easily distorted. Down South, my name has been distorted numerous times to Amith. I tried to correct it but gave up after trying a zillion times. I was even spelled Ameeth Charma once. *shudders*

  12. Add me in the list of those who hate their own names.. But I thought Rajesh was the most common name in India. Anywhere I had been to (school, college, office, Associations) I have seen at least 5 Rajeshs. And now one Rajesh (my hubby) is at my home too 🙂 Amit is not common in South India. I know only 2 Amits, One my ex-boss and one you 🙂
    My bro was ashamed of his name (Sugandh). It was always mispelled or mistaken for girl. But recently he has started loving it 🙂 And he would love it more if he meets Tantreshwar 🙂

    • Welcome to the club. 🙂 Well, Rajesh is pretty common too. Amit is not common down south and that is why it was distorted to Amith when I was there. I gave up after a while.
      Hahahahaha! I cracked up on Sugandh. 😀 You cannot even begin to imagine what that name would turn into in a hostel here in North India. 🙂

  13. I wonder what Justice Katju has to say about the 90% men with a name as common as Amit? But look at the bright side. In a whodunnit – “Amit did it” and can still get away with it! After all, who”ll have the patience to sift through a database that spans continents?

    • I was trying to calculate the probability of me being an idiot but I think I will ask Justice Katju to shed some light on it. He is very good with such statistics.
      I know! No one can find me on Facbook. Even if they try to delete my account, it will take them months to locate it.

  14. Tantreshwar? Seriously? LOL! Definitely needs a chandalika!

    My name and last name are both very unique (not of the tantreshwar variety though, luckily). Indians insist on mis-hearing my name as it’s more common variant and foreigners mishear it as the name of a popular cocktail (only different to my name by a couple of letters). Either way, I always have to a-for-apple-b-for-ball spell my name for people and there are various pronunciations of my name going around the office at any given time, some accidental and some intentional.

    So really Amit, the grass is always greener on the other side. 🙂

    p.s. An australian colleague was once found laughing uncontrollable after a meeting with a certain Mr Dikshit. Some names really don’t translate well!

  15. LOL!! I know two Amit’s apart from you! I have passed o this link to them!

    As a kid I never liked my name, it was too long and so uncommon. But whoever asked for my name said “Such a lovely name”. That’s when I started to like my name 🙂 And Deepika Padukone popularized my name in a film of hers 😉

    Tantreshwar!!! Really….What were parents thinking when they named their child like that? Poor guy! Having said that Chandalika and Tantreshwar was really funny! All afternoon I have been laughing so hard!

    • Believe me, 2 is just about fine. There are so many Amits in my company that we have a number in our email ID. I am number 4. I feel like an animal without a name.
      At least you have a lovely name. That is one less thing to be sad about. 🙂
      Tamtreshwar will be a sad man when he grows up. I can bet that he will eventually change his name. He reminds me of Chiraunji Lal from Khosla Ka Ghosla.

  16. * falls off chair laughing*
    I do not know anyone else who would equate the length of his own name to premature ejaculation. It requires some gumption to do that (and a wicked sense of humour, while we’re at it!).

    You know what? I understand your plight. But I am at the opposite end of the spectrum. Ashwathy is a very common name in Kerala, but few people have heard of it outside. So letters addressed from Ms Ashwathy often change to Mister Awasthi 😐 Yeesh!!

    Having said that, it’s not as bad as, say, a Chandalika or a Tantreshwar. Thank goodness for that !!

    I remember a boy in my class. He was name Tinku and his brother was named Pinku. Why do parents do this to their kids? Tinku changed his name to Sean once he grew old enough. His brother did too. Their sister Pinky however stayed wtih the same name. I should say that she passed off with the least damage, of the three.

    • //* falls off chair laughing*
      I hope you are not one of the girls who met Tantreshwar. 😛
      Areee my name is pathetic and it rhymes with so many things that half of the time I turn my head even when no one has called me. Like in UK, the way the British say ‘I mean’ sounds very similar to the way the say ‘Amit’ and they say that word a lot.
      Tinku, Pinku, Chinku, Minku are fine at home but they are a complete no no as an official name. Even at home, such names get embarrasing after the guys get married. No one likes to be called Pinku in front of his wife.

  17. ha ha..i totally sympathise with you Amit. I hate my name too.

    Liju-1. there is no meaning to it. 2. It’s a uni-sex name for Mallu’s, so boys also have this name. I was shocked when I discovered that I have a boy’s name.

    To top it all the story behind my name goes thus – my elder sis is JULI. When I was born, my parents were still deciding what to name me, and my mom’s best friend suggested LIJU-which according to her would be an “ulta” of JULI. 😮
    I still keep complaining to that aunt- “Thank God you din’t suggest UJIL or ILUJ”.
    Gosh!!!! I can’t even imagine how I would’ve survived.

    Totally agree with you on the “unique” names parents come up with nowadays. I really wonder whether those kids would really like such tongue-twister names.

    • Well, I was not sure about your gender myself so thank you for clarifying. 😛 I know a Liju boy.
      UJIL would have been horrible so you must thank your stars. 🙂

  18. AMIT…hahahaha…I honestly wanted to write a post on names for sooooooo long now. As soon as I’m done with the series I am doing now, I should do it. Btw, my son’s name is Rushik, we too call him Rushi at home 🙂 and what? Chandalika weds Tantreshwar…OMG..you had me in splits for that one..heheeh..Pinkle, Tinkle…lol..I agree to that craziness of unique names..btw, I too have a unique name and was always proud of it…

  19. there were at least half a dozen Amitabh’s in my class and i used to look at them with envy and admiration. but unique names have an advantage, people would prefer to call you ‘sir’ or ‘madam’.

    enjoyed reading this post 🙂

    • Amitabh Ji must not be aware of what he has done to this country. It was not entirely his fault but the chain reaction he started was devastating.
      Thanks Deb. 🙂

  20. ahahhahhaha!! Just classic!! I must say Amit is a much better choice, even if not very imaginative, than Tantreshwar!!! Of course, when I was in school, I knew a boy named Lovely….!!!

    • Oh yes, thank God for small mercies. I shudder to think what I would have done if my name was Tantreshwar. I would have disowned my parents.
      There is a boy in my current team called Lovey. It took me a while to convince the clients that he is indeed a boy.

  21. Amit, I seriously like your name :). My brother was named Amit too but then was rechristened Rajat to accommodate the objections of a close relative. And, it is quite uncommon these days. I remember when I named my elder son, Siddharth, I loved it a lot. The name has become so popular that there is another Sid in his class, one in my younger son’s class and you will find them crawling out of woodwork if you yell Sid, Siddhu or Siddharth :). But, I still adore that name. I actually find weird name almost like a cross that a child has to bear for life. If I had a weird name, I would have filed an affidavit and got it modified :). Here is a post that I did on the same subject:

    • Thanks Rachna. 🙂
      I like Siddharth, Arjun, Aaryan, Karan and Abhimanyu as names. I wish I had one of those. They are mythological but sound great.
      Me too. If my name was weird, I would have got it changed and would have stopped talking to everyone from my past life and started afresh. I think that is what Tantreshwar should do. 🙂

      • Poor Tantreshwar/! Really the parents need a quick mental check up. And, I must tell you that I watched Talaash today, and I just loved the movie. I seriously could not guess the climax, and it all made sense to me. Thank you for the review.

        • I am glad that you liked the movie. My sister was also not able to guess the climax and she got scared in the end. I think it is a movie which you will appreciate more in a second view.

      • Oh no no, not Aaryan! Hitler has ruined the swastika and the word ‘aryan’ quite thoroughly. Imagine being in Europe or anywhere around Germany (eeks) or in the US or anywhere around Jews (double eeks).

        The more you think about it, the more you realise how tricky this naming business is. Tantreshwar is still inexcusable though. Lovely too. 😀

        • Yes, I know it will not work in Germany at all. It denotes a race so it is a bit strange in that way. Its like naming someone – Mayan. But I like the sound of it. Don’t worry, I am stuck with Amit! 😐

  22. heheh…. you got the common bit correct – my HR MIS goes bonkers if I ask for all the Amits in the organization! That said, the name is rather sweet. Compare that to Tantreshwar, and you do have something to thank your parent for :-).

    BTW…. I hate my name too …. Every tiny syllable of it. That probably explains the corny pen name 🙂 Loved the post …. especially the Tantrshwar- Chandalika wedding! 😀

    • I hope my name will turn unique in a few years as parents hopefully are not using it anymore. Yes, you are right. I should be glad I am not called Tantreshwar.
      Oh! You too?!? I wonder how many people actually like their names? 🙂
      Thanks for liking the post Nirvana.

  23. ROFL! Oh c’mon, if its any consolation, Amit sounds far better than Tantreshwar, Pinkle, Chandalika and such 😀 ! And Hashtag..really! 😯

    In my case even though my name is fairly common, I like it and always did. It was my pet name that I didnt like at all- Deepu. 😡 I didnt mind being addressed so by my close family members, but it used really get to me when even the acquaintances and practical strangers would address me such. They still get to me. Urgh!

    As for choosing daughter’s name, I have a post dedicated to the topic 😀


    • Yes, it is better and bland. 🙂
      Deepu? I don’t know why it reminds me of those small boys in half-pants in old black and white movies who came home and ran towards their Ma saying – Ma! Ma! Dekho main first aaya! 😛
      Reading your post now.

  24. My husband had a batchmate called Ghamandi. I dont think I’ve heard a funnier name!
    If I keep my surname and add my husband’s surname I’ll be Nisha Punjabi Takkar. It’s been 4 years and I haven’t been able to decide what to do with my surname: give up my original (funny) surname, add his to mine (funnier), or just let it be. I’m sticking with ‘let it be’! And they alwayssss ask me about Punjabi when they see me id. Since its a common surname for a lot of people in this world, it doesn’t bother me as such. If it was my first name, I would have died!

    • Hahaha! Ghamandi!
      Punjabi Takkar sounds cool. In a fit of anger, you can always say something like – Mera bhi naam Punjabi Takkar hai! Koshish bhi mat karna takkar lene ki! 😛

  25. That was hilarious. In his engineering class, there were five others with the same name as my son’s 😛 When I named him I had NO IDEA that it was going to be such a popular name. In fact I chose it for personal reasons, no Bollywood or any other connection. But there you have it! 🙂
    I have written a post about names too. I never liked my name and am resigned to it now.

      • Another one who doesn’t like her name. I think I have touched a raw nerve. There are so many people who do not like their names and here I thought that I was the only one besides Tantreshwar.
        You have to see Geet’s attendance register of her class to believe it. I have never seen a more weird set of names.

  26. ha ha, pinkle- really what were his parents thinking ? probably they were expecting a girl and wished to name her twinkle ! Since the child was a boy they named him pinkle (gee!) Amit, as much your name is common it is a nice name and I am going Shakespearean here by saying that ‘ a rose by any other name—–‘. Also, I just sent you a FB request; i looked for amit and there were like you say soooooo many, but I took a shortcut(wink). It wasn’t that difficult either :p

    • God knows what the parents were expecting but I am sure the poor boy was not expecting this at all.
      Thank you for liking the name. The grass doesn’t look that green to me. 😛
      I have accepted your friend request. I know the shortcut you used! 😛

  27. Hi! Have been regularly reading your posts.. The honesty in your posts makes it really enjoyable.
    Regarding this post, I know a kid who was named Triambakeshwar based on their home deity. The kid is not big enough to complain now, but I seriously know what’s in store for his parents 😦 Also, I was reminded of this article by Sidin.. I believe you must have read it, but sharing nevertheless.. http://sidin.blogspot.com/2004/05/travails-of-single-south-indian-men-of.html

    • Hi KB. Thanks for commenting to let me know that you like my posts. 🙂
      That name is like a never ending goods train. Too long. And that child is going to change it sooner or later.
      Thanks for the link. I don’t think I have read it.

  28. well, I am late but had to comment..

    I hate my name..honestly…its far too common and it also a name of an actress I pretty much dislike..and my ma used to like her at one point of time *shudders* thats why the name was given to me..

    When the brat was born, we named her with the alphabet R because we wanted to…her name doesnt mean anything great in Hindi..infact the pandit was pretty upset why I wanted to name her R…but hey, my child my choice..at least I didnt name her anything like Tantreshwar and what not eh?

    and Amit is a short and sweet name no? I like it 🙂

    • You too?!?!?!
      I think there is hardly anyone here who likes his/her name. I must have reminded people of certain sad realities with this post. 😛
      And why are all of us named after actors and actresses. Shows a lack of imagination on the part of our parents which hopefully will not be passed to us. 🙂
      Yeah, you can try to make me feel good about my name. 😦

  29. From Amit to Tantreshwar, the pendulum has swung from one extreme to the other indeed. Rest assured, it will be back to Amit – it is one of the cardinal principals of Physics. I am sure I have my own story to tell which I would rather not in deference to the bard. And I still love the sound that turns a hundred face rather than a vacuous mask.

    • I too believe that as my generation moves towards old age, my name will end up being extinct or very very rare. At least it will stop people from bending towards horrors like Tantreshwar.

  30. I had a fit of laughter reading this, Tantreshwar would have got some solace to read so many readers sympathizing with him ….
    Was caught in a not-so-good-day, but your post made me laugh uncontrollably 🙂

  31. The company I worked in earlier, had an engineer named Pintu Patel. I thought thats his nickname. When I asked him his original name, he showed me his driving license. Apparently, he was ready for the is-this-your-real-name questions every other day 😆
    But I think Pintu is marginally better than Pinkle 🙄
    These days, there are so many fancy names that I think even Sanskrit scholars would need dictionaries to see the meaning of the names.
    I have also seen very funny names in God’s own country. Diji, Liji, Dinu, Minu, et al 😀
    Few years down the line, Rajesh and Pooja will become unique names 😛

  32. ha ha ha haha ha….rofl!!!..i am laughing so hard!!!….you nailed it!!..pinkle…tanteshwar….amitsharma 1, amit sharma 2..amit sharma 3….nitin agg1, nitin agg2.,…we had such names till class 12..:) Nidhi, pooja, priyanka….its seemed the name list ended here…..
    hilarious i must say!!!

    • I just hate this numbering systm. There are so many Amit Sharmas in my company that there is a number in our email IDs to recognise us. I feel like a marked pig. 🙂

  33. What is wrong with Tantreshwar? It is Lord Shiva’s name. As you might know, Tantra is not associated solely with black magic. A girl bursting out laughing upon hearing his name would be ignorant (and should I also say rude? :))

    • It really does not matter whether it is Lord Shiva’s or Jesus Christ’s name. It would have been a great name 1200 years ago but looks completely out of place in the present world. Anyways that is just my opinion.
      I am a bit curious why you defended only Tantrashwar and not Pinkal or Hashtag.

  34. oh i could see my name in the list of names that got replaced with new ones 😦

    i love my name because not sure whether true or not, i heard that it’s other name of buddha .. may be am wrong but i still love it…

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