LMAO! U shud chillax, Dude!

It could be a phlegmatic maneuver towards old age, but somehow, I believe that I am finally coming in terms with what could possibly be described as an understanding of “The generation gap”. I must disgracefully admit that the realization is stemming from the aversion I undergo when I compare, but then that is how the “gap” must exist.

I would, very nonchalantly, describe this gap as an amalgam of the following emotions.

  • A jealousy you acquire when you see youngsters wearing clothes, displaying accessories and handling gadgets you would have never dreamt of wearing, displaying or handling at their age – jeans falling off butts like Niagara Falls, shorts taking their nomenclature too seriously by being too short, hair too haywire like grass freshly plundered by bulls, T-shirts with collar turned up like a neck-guard (if there is any such thing), glasses like two enormous black holes where the eyes should be, mobiles as big as bricks and as thin as wafers – the list is endless.
  • I would also be green-eyed with the always-on-display smugness of the present generation. With due respect, my generation was always a confused lot. We still are, even after becoming mummies and daddies. We were like sheep, herded from school to college to a job. Being sure of what we wanted to do in life would have added a tail and two horns to us. We were born on a conveyer belt, either to be gift wrapped into a doctor box or an engineer box. That is why the killer cockiness of the present generation kills me at times. If I could, I would advise them to look for Baffled under B in the dictionary.
  • The careless shifting of language like tectonic plates is another irritant. I still do not know what LMAO and ROFLMAO means. My best guess would be that they are UN agencies distributing food somewhere in the world. & I dnt lyk wen I gt mssgs lyk ths <- This looks like a termite attack. This also looks like the last SOS sent hurriedly from Earth before it was destroyed by a high intensity alien nebulizer.
  • The fact that they get everything so easily and so young flares the fires of my envy. I remember one of my friends brought a stupid videogame to school and I played it like a loony all day hiding it under my table while the classes went on. I begged him to give me the game for one day to take home and the poor soul had to come to my house to get it back because it was confiscated by my mother. He got an excellent tongue-lashing from her for trying to derail her topper son. That is why I get misty eyed sometimes when I see this generation playing 3D games on PS3. They will never know yearning. They will never know the feeling when blood rushes to warm your heart when you acquire something you crave. In my heart, I know I mock them only to suppress the sorrow of my past coveting.
  • We never had any hobbies other than running after each other in parks and rolling in mud like pigs. Swimming meant getting a dip in toxic Yamuna or maybe the largest bucket in the house. Guitar was only for crazy people with weird hairdos. Horse riding could only be done on hill-stations during summer vacations. We were intoxicated by the sweet smell of deprivation and the present generation is oblivious that any such fragrance exists. They are deprived of deprivations.
  • The one word which makes me foam at mouth is – Dude. ‘Boss’ comes a close second but I shall gulp it painfully at the moment. Why does the present lot categorize everyone on this planet in one single word? A newborn is a Dude and so is a rickety old man. A dog can be a dude and so can be a pigeon. Sun is a dude and so is a lamp-post. Even peckers can be dudes! The word is an insult to the eardrums. It makes you feel so common. It sounds like someone asking for Dooodh (milk). Please don’t dude us. We are no dudes – far from it and close to Uncles. Don’t fling your young-ness on our face by using this word. It’s too clichéd now for your own good. And DO NOT exercise it with the melodious word “fuck”. Their combination makes “dude” more poisonous.

I re-read what I have written. So much acrimony (no matter how much I drape it in humor) that I surprised myself. The other day mom told me that my jeans was dangerously hanging from my hips. I checked and it was exactly where it was supposed to be. I told her that you are not supposed to pull it up till your neck. The hunter was being hunted.

I do not want to live like this – loathing younger people. I have to close the gap. I am wondering if I should talk to someone who has taken only twenty revolutions around the sun. I might hear something incredulously banal like – LMAO! U shud chillax, Dude! – But I will take my chances.

Just curious, but what is the female version of Dude? Dudess? She-dude?

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27 comments on “LMAO! U shud chillax, Dude!

  1. And girls are babes. and. dudes.
    I agree with you.. the youngsters nowadays are deprived of deprivations!!
    You really wanna know what LMAO means or you know by now? 😀

      • I think it is just a sub-level of a superlative to express different intensities of humor. I hardly use it in the view that it is just as meaningless to the person addressed, as it is to me.

  2. ROFL @ termite attack messages! 😛 I so agree!

    I know!! This generation is sure of itself and its sure-smart cockiness that I positively feel uncomfortable 😐 Like, where does it really come from?

    • Thanks. 🙂
      Ahhh! And this ROLF….what does this mean again? I keep forgetting. 😛
      I think the present generation has much more exposure than we had. They grow up fast nowadays. 🙂

  3. I so so agree..we are getting old dude! My 3 year old has already used a laptop, touch screen phone and iPad! Seriously they have no idea what yearning is. I remember I got my first watch when I went to college. This generation will never know what achievement feels like and to be rewarded for that.

    • Eeeks! Dude again! 😛
      My sis-in-law’s 2 years old son knows how to operate an Iphone. He can unlock it and play his favourite game on his own. And he won’t eat food without it. No matter how normal it looks, it will never be normal for me. I got a bloody rickety computer when I was in college. 😦

  4. Although dudette is also used, in IMHO dude is a gender, race, caste, species and class neutral word. Loved how you pointed out the need for this generation to learn about deprivation and challenges, they seem to have it too easy, and the way they expect to be treated with respect despite their age is also quite offensive.

    • Yes and that is what I was expecting. 🙂 I was surprised to find that a female equivalent exist.
      Thanks IHM. Yes I agree. I felt this during my stay in Manchester too. Somehow when you get everything on a platter, you do not respect it. I know this is an age when you are in awe of yourself and that is why the parents should know where to firmly draw a line.

  5. LOL at everbody being dude, so very true. I thought dude was a common gender! The kids these days know how to use tabs and phones. I hadn’t heard of them when I was a kid 😦

    My 4 year old nephew gave me instructions the other day while I was playing on his dad’s phone! “Press this button to taaaan(meaning turn)” is what he said!!!!

    • Yes, I thought so too.
      Kids nowadays are exposed to a lot of things which is good actually but all that comes with new problems.
      And after I saw a two year old operate an Iphone with ease, I believe anything is possible. 🙂

  6. this young generation guys always forget that i am at least 20 – 25 years older than them :D, but it’s okie, at least that way i get to understand their point of views.

    lovely post and dude is not a bad word. it can also be used to add some humorous effect. now where is the other post which i missed.

    • Dude is good to induce humour on few occasions but I think it’s a part of the slang of the present generation now. Somehow I do not connect to it. 😦

  7. This is just how jealous our parents feel. They yearn to type like this on the laptop, wish to change smart phones every day, enjoy our phoren travel tales, love/hate to see us in smart clothes (not short, smart!), and the list goes on. But we love them the way they are – innocent in their own way.
    So the lesson to take from this is, be your own age! if your mommy was as savvy on the laptop as you are, I don’t know how comfy you would be. Similarly, we shouldn’t be dud’ing kids. They will think us mad!

    • Haha! I am not jealous but I definitely do not identify with a few things of the present generation.
      Our parents were brough up in a different environment but look around and you will see that some of the people of their generation are as savvy as we are. It’s just a state of mind I suppose.
      I don’t like dude-ing. 🙂 That was the whole point of the post. 😛

  8. LOL. Loved this rant-y post. 🙂

    I can relate to much of what you are saying, though I don’t think we were deprived of anything as such. It is not a great idea to give kids gadgets right from the time they are born, me thinks. They will be deprived of the joys of playing outside, climbing trees and spinning tops, right?

    SMS lingo gets my goat too. Sigh! I always cringe when I get a message in SMS lingo. Call me old if you want, but it takes me at least 5 minutes to decipher it. 🙂

    Arre, you talk of being called a ‘dude’? Even ladies are not spared. I am a ‘dude’ too! Double sigh!

    BTW, LMAO is Laughing My Ass Off and ROFLMAO is Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off – so I learnt recently.

    Also, the female version of ‘dude’ is supposed to be ‘dudette’. 🙂

    • You know, whenever I read ROFLMAO, I start expanding it and then give up midway. It is so tiring! My sister’s messages are all in SMS lingo and I prefer calling her back and asking what she was trying to say rather than decipher the message.
      Yes, definitely, I just meant it as a joke when I said that we were deprived. I think I was because I was never a playground boy. I loved to sit and read even when I was a kid. When I discovered computer games in college, I went crazy. So, I did feel a bit deprived.

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