Matrimonially yours

These are the Ads taken from the Matrimonial site Shaadi.com. Somehow I find them more amusing than humourous. You might forget your basic grammer after reading this. πŸ™‚

Hello To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don’t have female, If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart…when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter.
(MarieGold?)

* * *

i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Homework?)

* * *

Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you
(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

* * *

She should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have one brother and one sister. she should be educated.
(ain’t it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)

* * *

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on……..hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

* * *

I am simple boy. I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now i am looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot lot.

(I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)

* * *

My wife should be as ‘Shivani’ as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in KSBKBT……

(Ok I haven’t seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too much,ain’t he?)

* * *

i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast

(by not wearing her jeans? Wat the freak…)

* * *

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE
1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.

2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing{laughing})

* * *

whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone bride and she must think of the future life if she is too like this she would be called the woman of the lamp.

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this boy wants)

* * *

I love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

Β (I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering from “Ok-syndrome”)

* * *

HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK.

(the “ok syndrome” again)

* * *

I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and Father & mother sister complity marred

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married ‘completely’?)

* * *

i am very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

* * *

my name is muhamad and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! )

* * *

I want one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she havea frank she’s skin colour ‘normal’not a black or not a whitey. I Think the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
bye bye.
(uttam purush)

* * *

iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)

* * *

I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON’T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

* * *

hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good’. i expect the good minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted …
(but credit cards not accepted..???)

* * *

my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service

(Zebra..???)

* * *

i’m looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn’t it?)

* * *

To be married on jan-2006. working woman perferable
(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bride.I wish him best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.)

* * *

I would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure. because girl is the maharani.

(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

* * *

ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present.

(Any takers again?)

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26 comments on “Matrimonially yours

  1. Hey Amit, I read this already last year itslef and this is one of my favorite mails. While reading I really wanted to know whether that guy who fixed his marriage date got married or not.

  2. @Bharat : I too want to know what happened to all of them. πŸ™‚
    Some of them sound so innocent and foolish that I end up laughing heartily whenever I read this.

  3. Hey amit..
    This is really good stuff man.Had me laughing right in the morning.. anyways this brightened up my day.. gud one.

  4. @Sujani : Thank you Sujaniji. I am happy that I was able to make you laugh….YET AGAIN. πŸ™‚
    @Indu : Thank you Indu. Which is your favourite one?

  5. Atleast its better than the ‘wanted gori,convent educated n proffesionally qualified’ cliches….good one lol

  6. OH GOOOOOOOD HORRIBLE JUST HORRIBLE
    YAAR AISE PAGAL BHI HOTE HAI.
    BUT REALY GOOD DISCOVERY MADE BY YOU.
    MAST EKDUM ZHAKAAAAAS
    THEY ARE INNOCENT. YA TOOOOOOOOOOO INNOCENT & TOOOOOOOOOOOO DIFFERENT.HA HA HA HA.

  7. //I want one girl who love me or my mother// πŸ˜€ again this mother thing!! and “or”???????

    LOLZ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Gems! all of them!

  8. @ Amit: Besides the obvious laugh-at-the-poor-sod value of this post, I was thinking about how people suffer of the dominant language of the medium is not the same as their own language or is something they are not fluent in. Some of them I am sure are simple Hindi-belt bhaiyas, who want nothing more than the woman described in this Sarojini Preetam poem:

    Beti ke byaah ka
    Vigyapan dene chale;
    Gau si kanya ko
    Kolhu ka bail mile…

    This is one of those occasions when I laugh and then my analytical mind says: Shush, this is not right and you know it is not right, still you are laughing! Awful really.

  9. @Shefaly : I know its really awful. πŸ™‚ Even the Mutual Funds Episode was similar to this. I knew I was not supposed to laugh. Also the guy was completely oblivious to the fact that he was making me laugh. But still couldn’t help it. πŸ™‚
    @Lallopallo : I was trying to find out the recipe for making a dish with “Lady’s finger”. πŸ˜›

  10. Pingback: Nominations So Far… « Visceral Observations

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  13. Hey Amit, got here from the Avant Garde Bloggies Award… Gosh! You sure did deserve this one!! I almost cried reading these! The one where you had “no comments” is my personal fav!

    I should earn my good deed for the day on monday morning for sharing this link with colleagues! πŸ˜†

    Congrats on the award!

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  16. I have even come across this in an ad for a bride” she should be loving and carrying” (read caring)…had a hearty laugh reading the above.

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