The Hitchhikers guide to a sane life

The Hitchhikers series is back again! In the past we have dwelled into topics like How to lose a guy and Basic Etiquette. Now we shall dwell into something more profound. I am not implying that we all lead an insane life. Mind it!!! But there are times when we might drag another fellow human to the point where he screams at us and ask us to shove all our stupid ideas up our own ass. This means that the other person considers you insane. The purpose of this guide is to make you look incredulously sane to a fellow human and to give you some peace of mind. While you read on, you might have a dizzy feeling that all this has been copied from a book by Robin Sharma.

Note that the guide could only give you suggestions. The actions are in your own hands. Here we go:

Mind your own business, for Christ sake!

Its hard to do. Isn’t it? We all have a craving for knowing about why Mrs. Kukreja’s daughter eloped? Or why Mr. Chaddha’s son comes so late at night? We gossip while removing clothes from the spilling cloth-line in our balconies or while playing pool in the club. We pass on the germ to our children who in turn gossip about their schoolmates. Our news readers gossip on national news about what other countries “might” be doing. Our politicians gossip about which candidates are being bought by the opposition. The first step towards a sane life is by MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Make sure your own life is on track before you blabber about someones else. Chinese whispers is a very dangerous game. 

Help others. They won’t bite you

Helping someone is a very beautiful feeling, even if its a very small gesture. Even if its something like helping someone cross the road, you will feel the tinge of satisfaction after you have finished the deed. A few months back, I was going to a mall in my friend’s car and when the beggars came to his car asking for money, he had a large number of packets of Parle ji biscuits which he distributed amongst them. “At least I know that the biscuits will not be taken away from them by the head of their gang”, he said. And, if you have a phobia about helping strangers, help your mom in the kitchen, or your dad with his car or your sis with her shopping.

Smile a lot, your muscles need some exercise

A smile is something which we use like money. We are too scared to take it out and we store it as if we are going to take it all to our graves. We have our own reasons for not smiling at strangers. We think that the whole world is cruel and shrewd, except us. I will come back to this point later, but yes, try to be happy about the fact that you have love in your life, your family is around you. I think that is reason enough to smile at times while staring out of the window of a bus.

Smell the roses, for the time will take away those petals

Recently, a friend of mine was telling me a story about an old uncle and aunt of her. The Uncle, apparently, slogged hard all his life and is at a very comfortable position right now. The children are all married and the couple spend a lot of time roaming around the world and by visiting a lot of places which they have always dreamt to see. The Uncle, once told my friend – “While my children were growing up, I forgot to enjoy my life. Now, I can afford to do it but what is the point when I can go to Disney Land, but can’t sit in most of the rides? What is the point when I can go and see a mountain but can’t climb it? I wish I had done it all earlier.” 

Don’t turn yourself into that uncle.

Follow the rules, all of them are not meant to be broken

When you see a line of cars in front of yours on the road, don’t jump the lane and make another line of cars. You know that there is a problem ahead and that is why the cars have stopped, don’t you? Now will making another line solve the problem? No! So, basically, if you do that, you prove this beyond doubt that YOU ARE INSANE!! The way we break rules in India, in any other country, such a person would end up in a mental asylum. Your brain is developed enough to reason and find logic in things(unless you were used in some scientific research and your brain was swapped with a penguin). USE THE LOGIC!

Be good. Not everyone you meet is shrewd.

Most of us have this irritating mentality of  thinking that every person we meet is a shrewd, manipulative and cruel bastard. The worst part is that even when we are very good with people on their faces, we still think that way about them. Its the first step towards being a hypocrite, a chauvinist. How can you expect others to be good to you when you approach them with this mindset? And remember, its a two way road!

Don’t lose your family and friends, they are your roots to reality

There is only a selected few set of people who will always treat you the same way no matter how big a big shot you become. Never lose them. They are your umbilical cord with reality, with your roots, with the place from where you started. No matter how big a fight you had with your friend, he would always hug you when you say sorry. And I had always believed that, this is one set of people with whom you can work out even the worst of situations and fights.

Be honest…atleast to yourself

Don’t collect money like stamps. Its not rare. You can always have it if you are good. Don’t treat family like lizards. Don’t make them feel that their presence is not important. Greed is like an untamed horse. If you don’t have a rope, don’t go near it. Be honest, and do things for a reason. There has to be a method in the madness. If you are hurting someone, then you better have a very very honest reason for it. Not to explain it to the person you are hurting, but to explain it to yourself.

Sorry, Please, I love you, Thank you – The SPIT Rule

I was amused by a certain practice during my initial days in Manchester. Here, when you get down from a bus, you say Thank you to the driver. Now if I imagine such a practice back in India, the driver would choke on tears of happiness and would ram the bus in a tree. Anyways, always follow the SPIT principle. Please, add a please at the end of you sentence. Thank you. They are important words and make a whole lot of difference. It makes the other person feel that you are not a snob, an egotist, an incarnation of Hitler OR insane! 

Learn to forgive and forget and screw the one who is not worth forgiving

Sometimes, it is important to break ties from the past to move forward and to be happy. It’s the hardest thing you might have to do but believe me, its important to maintain the mental balance. Forget a person with a smile and that person won’t haunt you. Try remembering the good times. And if the person is not worth forgiving, then screw the bastard. Some people are so conniving, that its a sin to let them go just like that. Give them a good piece of your mind and kick them out!

Party hard, don’t be a martyr and love thyself

When it is time to paint the town red, then just go ahead and do it. Remember, you have just one life. God, knows on which planet you would end up in your next birth. Maybe you would be a 15 legged monster who would be dripping liquids out of everywhere. So, enjoy your life and sometimes think about yourself before thinking about others. Love yourself. That is the only way you can hope that others will love you.

So, that is all folks. The precious points to lead a sane and happy life and to maintain your balance. If you STILL have any questions, then shoot!

Be sane, be good!

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